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Advice Needed: Groomsman asked to wear black suit at best friend's wedding

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the feedback everyone!


Edited by eddier0118 - 1/23/16 at 3:51pm
post #2 of 10

Suck it up and buy a black suit.

 

"Look good, feel good, play good, get paid good" is fine but DBAA is as important – and that suggests you pick up a black suit.

 

Of course, you can (and I would) spend a lot less than usual.

post #3 of 10
You have two choices: (1) buy a black suit, or (2) drop out of the wedding party. If you go with choice (1), buy a cheap suit that still looks presentable. Think H&M.
post #4 of 10

Seriously, just suck it up and buy a black suit. You'll need one eventually for a funeral anyway.

 

We all love to talk about how 'gentlemanly' and sophisticated we are on these forums, but having a snobbish attitude to something like this couldn't be any further from that. I suggest you do the right thing; show some respect to your best friend on his wedding day and wear what he wants you to wear. 

post #5 of 10
Either wear the black suit, because your desire to stand up for your best friend outweighs your distaste for black suits, or politely decline the invitation to be a groomsman. (You may want to think up some plausible excuse for declining, beyond "I won't wear a black suit." Since as a practical matter you'll likely be asked why you're declining the invitation, and most people won't accept distaste of black suits to be a good enough reason.)

Of course, over the years countless women have put up with wearing hideous bridesmaids' dresses. I don't see how what you're being asked to wear is any worse than some of the things I've seen bridesmaids wear.
post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeachamLake View Post

Seriously, just suck it up and buy a black suit. You'll need one eventually for a funeral anyway.
I've never worn a black suit to a funeral, and I probably never will. Charcoal typically serves me perfectly well.

This is in the United States, however. Here, there is no generally accepted rule that black is the only correct suit color when attending a funeral. Perhaps you're somewhere where men are expected to wear black to funerals. Or belong to some cultural group where this is the norm.
post #7 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12345Michael54321 View Post


I've never worn a black suit to a funeral, and I probably never will. Charcoal typically serves me perfectly well.

Surely he meant the OP's own.

post #8 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12345Michael54321 View Post

Or belong to some cultural group where this is the norm.

 

Indeed. This is me and my buddies at our latest funeral:

 

post #9 of 10
I don't think it's as terrible a decision as some here make out.

If you get a peak-lapelled black suit in a fabric with some sheen, you can wear it in the evening as a substitute for black tie. You can also wear the coat as a stroller during the day. Try a black sharkskin.

Or get a peak-lapelled suit in midnight blue with some sheen. It's also a good substitute for a tuxedo, and most people won't notice the difference between midnight blue and black anyway. If the groom complains, just tell him it was the best you could do.
post #10 of 10
I had in mind something more like:



or



As a worshiper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I'd appreciate it if attendees at my funeral dress as pirates, but I'm not adamant about that. His Noodly Goodness does not dictate what clothes a man need wear in order to be admitted to paradise, with its beer volcano and stripper factory.

NK1_0058.jpg
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