n-n-n-n-n-n-NECRO-BUMP!
i knew there had to be an awkward moments thread, so instead of starting a new one i am bumping this one on new years day in honor of the awkward customer who just left my store.
this customer was a little asian lady, maybe 5 foot tall, and she was prego as hell. not ugly, but certainly not hot. i have a swivel chair and a desk, next to it is my employees desk and his swivel chair. usually the customers understand that they belong on the other side of the desk, and they stand there as we write up the invoice, a process that takes maybe 3 minutes. today though, my employee was not in, and his chair and desk were vacant. this lady walks around the desk and plops herself down right next to me in my employees swivel chair. not exactly normal, but not crazy weird or awkward.
as i am writing her invoice i am to her right, and just slightly turned towards her as i ask for her name and other info to fill out the invoice, and my left knee is facing her. at this point she rolls her chair over towards me, spread eagle like she is giving birth. she comes in retardedly close, to the point that her mouth is almost on my ear and my knee is practically in her vagina. she is so close and surrounding me that i cant escape, made weirder because her husband is right there with her. now its officially awkwaaaaard.
but it gets worse. i finish the invoice and ask her to sign, taking care not to move an inch so i dont end up kneeing her in the cooter. what does she do? she rolls in even closer. im telling you she was practically swallowing my leg in her vag, i think i could feel the fetus breathing. it was really weird. and gross. but, i made the sale, so thats all that really matters.
/cool story bro
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