Your most recent awkward moment - Page 12

My 60 year old tailor told me to visit 2girls1cup if I wanted to see something nasty. (Somehow, it wasn't even really that awkward)

They really shouldn't allow old farts access to the internet.

Rube, do you realize what you're saying?? You and I couldn't access SF if old farts were banned...

OMG What have I done?!?!?!?!?!?

Hahah, one time I got cut off pretty dangerously and I threw a bird and honked. Traffic was completely stopped and the guy got out of his truck and stormed toward me. I was rolling down my window to scream at him but then I realized he was just going to start swinging so I rolled it up at lightning speed, right before he planted a kick on my window that left a huge streak of shoe rubber, and stormed back to his truck.

I was glad I didn't get out because I didn't see he had a buddy in the passenger side, who then threw his cigarette butt at my car

After that incident (throughout which I had been chewing on a granola bar) I sat right behind them for the next fifteen minutes until traffic started moving again.



This wasn't really recent, it was almost a year ago probably, but...

Hmm. Last Saturday T4phage and the missus brought my buddy and me out for a steak dinner in Amsterdam...while my friend and I were in hour six of an eight hour mushroom trip. A couple of sugary mints kept the walls where they were supposed to be, but nothing was going to keep my mind on track. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Phage had to stifle a couple of bemused smiles as the conversations that started over the table ended completely in my head.

Standard inclusions in MREs?

I was recently in Amsterdam and I was at a girls apartment, in her kitchen in the morning, quite naked.

She was still asleep, so I suspect it had slipped her mind to tell me that her house cleaner came over on Tuesday mornings. It was a terrible situation, and she had a very basic place, so I had absolutely nothing like a blanket in moderate reach when the cleaner burst in. I had to apologise about 100 times while leaving the room with a tea towel as she covered her eyes. I had a shower and got dressed, and went out for a long walk, running to the front door while the cleaner was in the laundry.

I laughed about it a few hours later, but at the time it was terrible. Very much like something out of a movie.

However, better that than her parents coming in while I was naked and holding condoms and lubricant, I suppose.

^ Again with the lube.

Years ago, on a flight from Chicago, I sat next to a girl who told me she'd just had her pics taken as a possible Playboy centerfold.

(She said whatever the decision, the pics wouldn't run until she turned 18.)

And about a year later, there she was, showing the world her goodies.

It was amazing how good lighting and make-up turned a cute girl into a babe.

I tried to flirt with her but she was soooo fucking stupid. I'm talking high functioning moron.

She wanted to be an actress -- she mentioned her agent was trying to get her an audition as a Bond girl in an upcoming James Bond flick. But I think she was finally too dumb even for show biz.

One of the rare times I ever talked to someone on a plane. I'm usually seated next to the world's least interesting people.

^All that airbrushing in PB really works wonders. Very sanitized and cartoonish. Who was the girl, btw?

They take naked pics of a minor and then release them when they are 18? Aren't the pics still of underaged girls then? This also reminds me, I need to go back to Amsterdam.

Last year I had what I hope will be my most awkward moment. I was working fulltime and going to school at night until I graduated last year, so I was always the most overdressed member of my class. Made life more interesting too, since one friend of mine from school was a bit of a nut and loved my "buttoned-up and formal" look or, as she later called it, my "about to be wed" look.
She ran a group at our college and last year talked me into being in a "mock wedding," for lack of a better term. Thing was, the group was the gay-straight alliance, or something like that, and the mock wedding was the highlight of their "Gay Wedding Day" event. When she talked me into being in it I had no idea how big it would be. The wedding was held in a church near the campus and performed by a lady minister. My groom was a guy who was a member of the gay-straight alliance. She had us both wear navy blue suits (since we both had them and it was cheaper than tuxes), with very starched (how I wear them) white shirts, and navy blue bow ties (with a little bit of a print), and of course matching white rose and baby's breath boutonnierres. I was nervous as hell, naturally. When they opened the doors into the main church, there's the minister waiting for us down at the end of the aisle and the place was PACKED. Probably a couple hundred people. Next thing I know the organist was blaring out The Wedding March and there I am walking very slowly down the aisle with my groom on my arm, both of us all stiff and buttoned-up and formal in our suits and bow ties and being wed in front of a church-full of people. It couldn't have been more real. As soon as The Wedding March started playing and we started walking down the aisle, it may as well have been for real. On top of that, my sister knows this friend of mine, so naturally she found out about the wedding, and naturally she told my mother, who said, "I have GOT to see this!" So among those in attendance as I was being wed to my groom was my mother, sister, and a couple of aunts and cousins, and a neighbor. Everyone got all dressed up for the occasion, and the way my mother was you'd have thought it was a real wedding.ONT]

^hmmmm.... This story seems familiar.