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Most odious outfit

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
I was at Sanctuary, considered an "upscale" club by the twentysomethings in Boston, this Saturday night. Because I hate places that are considered "upscale" by twentysomethings with no style, I deliberately went as downtown as I could - t-shirt over t-shirt, military jacket, jeans, and some pretty cool kicks, if I say so myself. They nearly didn't let us in, but after a small lecture on limited edition sneakers, decided to let us "slack". Anyway, within 2 minutes, I knew that I was there purely for the entertainment value of Boston trying to be upscale NYC. Never have I seen so many versions of the lame-guy uniform of the untucked striped shirt (usually blue) and relaxed fit jeans with some sort of ugly black dress/casual shoe. The girls were nearly all dressed in some type of tank top with low slung jeans and strappy heels. Seriously, I have never seen such a sea of boring people in my life. Give me the most contrived "hipster" bar in NYC or LA (and these can be *very* pretentious) anytime. At least people there try not to look like absolute clones.
post #2 of 11
"Tight, low-cut jeans. A kleenex-small blouse. Jack-'em-up heels. Let's face it: When it comes to us watching women, these are the molecular building blocks of the male sex drive, the two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen that creates life. But ladies: You're drowning us. When did this become the Official Uniform for Going Out for Drinks? When did it become the chick version of the lame-guy uniform of an untucked striped shirt and dorky stovepipe jeans?" From GQ. Honestly I started getting into clubs around here and I was so surprised at how annoyingly drone-like everyone's appearance is. There is one delectably hip bar called "Air Conditioned" that is decidedly the only cool club in San Diego, unless you count the Casbah or Scolari's Office, which tend to have a more interesting and colorful (and I don't mean Paul Smith) demographic. All of downtown is doing the exact same thing here: "Manhattenizing." From million dollar high-rises going in every year, trendy, expensive clubs with bright lights that play crappy music, and... you get the point.
post #3 of 11
Ah, to be young enough to complain that I see too many twentysomething women in heels and a skimpy top.  On the other hand, the only good thing about getting older is that the number of appropriate women has increased exponentially.
post #4 of 11
Neck tie w/ T, polo, or rugby shirt. A great way to be unique and stand out in a way that 10 million losers have already thought of and failed to pull off before you. Don't forget your spikey hair cut.
post #5 of 11
My campus' standard summer male attire, as exemplified by: Polo shirt with either the polo player or crocodile. Knee-length khaki cargo shots, no belt. Dark blue 'flip-flop' sandals (with or without stripe of grey duct tape) to be removed from at least one foot while in lecture. The bloody flip-flops drive me out of my mind for some unknown reason, especially when worn in the rain. Is it just me? Here's an amusing one -- last week I saw a black guy in Oscar Meyer Weinermobile pajama bottoms . I can't remember what else he was wearing, I think I blocked it out. Regards, Huntsman
post #6 of 11
I think the administrative assistant perquisite of wearing tennis shoes below normal business attire, while at least understandable (if rinky-dink) for ladies who labor under the misconception that their shoes cannot possibly look good AND be comfortable? Is absolutely hideous when done by men. David Boies may be an exemplary attorney, but to wear black tennis shoes under his suit [during arguments before the Supreme Court, no less.] is both inexplicable and twitch-inducing. And the practice has apparently spread, as there are no less than two men on my morning train who engage in the practice. It makes me want to remove one of my own shoes and hit them with it in fits of Brezhnevian outrage.
post #7 of 11
-Jeans with wear patterns that could not possibly have been caused by actual use. The best are the women's ones with the inside of the butt/crotch all worn white as if she had been riding a motorcycle with a sandpaper seat. Also fake 'whiskers'. Whiskers only appear if jeans are loose enough to bunch up and then receive wear. Whiskers on tight jeans are ridiculous. -Slip-on "casual dress" shoes. These often have black shiny (cheap) leather and elastic across the top or in a split vamp etc. They invariably look horrible. They're also usually bulky enough that the pants don't properly fall around the top, thus exposing their horrible entirety for all to see. -Fake team shirts. "Abercrombie swim team"?. Luckily as I am now out of school for good I should be able to mostly avoid seeing these. I know these aren't outfits but I hate them anyway.
post #8 of 11
It makes me want to remove one of my own shoes and hit them with it in fits of Brezhnevian outrage. It was actually Kruschev who hit his shoe in his desk but outside of that I completely agree with you. When I see it I get an instant headache. I'll get your back if I ever see some guy go ballistic and start beating another guy who is wearing running shoes with his suit
post #9 of 11
Kruschev. Gah, I'm an idiot. Thanks for the correction.
post #10 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
-Jeans with wear patterns that could not possibly have been caused by actual use. The best are the women's ones with the inside of the butt/crotch all worn white as if she had been riding a motorcycle with a sandpaper seat. Also fake 'whiskers'. Whiskers only appear if jeans are loose enough to bunch up and then receive wear. Whiskers on tight jeans are ridiculous.
Yep. Although, in all fairness, the butt and crotch can get worn out, depending on how you walk, what you do while wearing your jeans, etc...Personally, the crotch and butt wear out first on tighter jeans from the friction of being on a bike seat, walking etc...) Knees also tend to wear out and need to be patched or otherwise repaired. What really gets me is when someone buys a pair of distressed jeans, and wears them like they are gold (lame?) The point of the jeans is that they look distressed. Just wear them out. Really. If you don't feel comfortable wearing a pair of $150-200 pair of jeans for everyday wear, don't buy 'em. Or buy a pair of deep blue jeans that are obviously to be worn for "nice" occasions. Seriously.
post #11 of 11
Quote:
-Jeans with wear patterns that could not possibly have been caused by actual use. The best are the women's ones with the inside of the butt/crotch all worn white as if she had been riding a motorcycle with a sandpaper seat. Also fake 'whiskers'. Whiskers only appear if jeans are loose enough to bunch up and then receive wear. Whiskers on tight jeans are ridiculous.
Everyday I wear a pair of jeans to class and work, in other words for at least 14 hours; I notice that the jeans have a thin wisp of whiskers that have accumulated throughout the day. Now, whilst they look eerily similar to the shape of faux-whiskers, they are nowhere as noticeable and have never been so extreme in visualization as what is found in the current fashion. Actually, I wore a pair of my jeans during the second to last hurricane (we get so many) while putting up the shutters on all the windows of our 2-storey house and after all the sweat and work of almost 4 hours non-stop after a full day of work, my jeans still did not have whiskers that were as pronounced as found in stores. Jon.
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