My apology for so many threads. I kept putting off reregistering and mostly just Â lurked doing Â drive by readings through the summer. I have been just letting the questions stack up. I have a couple of months yet before the big day. Hopefully, with your suggestions it will be ample time to "polish" my dress to the proper look. Â I was raised being taught that manners(politeness) and respect are the measure of a man. Respect for the family elders is MOST important of all. One could disagree... that is part of individualality ... Â but do so MOST RESPECTFULLY to one's elders. This is why it is so important to me to make as few sartorial mistakes ( if any) as possible for the upcoming affair. Too I have a very large respect and love for the couple in whoose honor the gathering is for. Â The good news is ,,,,I can choose my own undergarments. The bad news is .... I need your saged advice for almost everything else. Â This will be the most auspicious formal gathering my wife and I have ever attended. For many of you it would probably be somewhat passe'. However since it is a celebration of respect and love it is of UTMOST importantance to me. If I get a little too overly cautious or too caught up in detail, please bear with me. Just tell me so. For one of the few times in my life I have been constantly second guessing myself. The scenario: Assume you were going to attend a formal anniversary party. It will be a gathering of 35-50 people ( It may be a bit larger. This is the number I was given as a "guestimate" ). In attendance will be the patriarch Â and matriarch of your family. A greek diplomat and Â also a very prominant and wealthy Greek business magnate will be there, a Lt. govenor and a semi well known media person among other dignitaries will be in attendance. What would be the proper attire please? Or how would you dress (me). Out of respect for family I definitely do NOT want to be attired incorrectly. ( I DO know that tails are not required and from what I understand few if anyone WILL be wearing tails. ) I have an Oxxford Tux. It is a Gotham model peak lapel, unvented naturally. It is in such pristine condition my dry cleaner even asked if it really needed cleaning. Prior to this I had only a Perry Ellis (athletic fit peak lapel Â with no suspenders) Tux. I have a grey silk cummberbund/tie set and a darker reddish silk tie/cumber set. Both have a bit f a pattern or print but the pattern is small and tasteful. Mostly my formal gatherings have been Â weddings or similar and once a theatre/ operetta preformance of Man of La'Mancha. Is this Oxxford considered a proper tux? I still have some confusion over tuxes other than the shawl type. < special note : The buttons on the sleeve and the single button of the jacket is not covered with velvet. The buttons are all a shiny almost plasticene type of material. Should I have my tailor cover them in Velvet or is this something unique to Oxxford? > Â Too, I am still in the process of learning the different models or offerings by Oxxford. Short of an 80's style suit of suits or tux with super wide shoulder pads and exagerated peek Â lapels Â I dont really know what is current and what is outdated. Is the Gotham model by Oxxford contemporary enough please? Or is this model too out of date? Â My great uncle looks most dashing in a tux from the late 50's or early 60's but his wifes evening gown is from the same period. Also, they are both almost 80 years old. Is it most proper to wear suspenders or to just get the tux tailored to my waste please? ( I am in failry good shape. Size 34-35 waste. 44 long suit size. 6'1" . I am 44 years old if that is of relevance to anyone.) If suspenders are proper, does one want silk? The ones I am looking at are supposed to rival the quaility of Trafalgars offerings.They are silk with leather ends. For shoes- I purchased Allen Edmonds Ritz formal pumps.These have the pleated bows on them. Is this the proper formal shoe for such an occasion or does one want a lace up patent oxford, Â please? ( How DOES one judge what type of formal shoes are apropriate for the occassion? When does one wear the pumps with bows.. the slip ons.... and the patent oxxfords? Should I pick up a pair of something other than the slippers/pumps for less special occasions? Is a cumberbund prefered? If so, does one want standard black tie and cummberbund or is it ok to put a bit of design or color into the two? ( Nothing too crazy, I realize) If one should Â adhere strictly to the black tie and cumberbund is something such as a black on black paisley print ok? Is it most proper to have a silk tie and cummberbund or is there another material more correct? What type of Tuxedo shirt is considered most proper please? Pleated? Hidden button holes? Flat front requiring studs? Â In regard Â to the shirt, based on my facial type, I look best in the point collar. Is this acceptable for such a gathering? As to the stud set ( if necessary based on proper shirt selection)- is there a preferred type of formal setting? At present I have a set of onyx on 10K gold studs/links. But is this an occasion where one strictly abides by the "Silver after 6:00" p.m. rule? Or does this rule aply only to cufflinks and not formal wear involving studs/links? Â There is a fantastic set of emerald in sterling at a Nordstrom or Sak's store I stumbled upon a while back. A gentleman ordered them in, then ,for unknown reasons never purchased them. They looked most tasteful and I can get them for about 50% of retail Â ( still Â almost 450.00 ) . To me they look tasteful and fantastic but I do not want to accidentally error on the gauwdy or "presumptuous" side . Â Should I wear gloves? Is gloves and cane appropriate or is this just with tails ones wears the gloves,cane and top hat? Do you wear black or white gloves if applicable? Â On a formal occasion should one make sure to wear a tank style watch with a leather ( alligator strap in my case) Â band? Is a bracelet style watch acceptable? Is a pocket watch the definitive answer? Â Finally should I be sure to wash behind my ears before leaving the house? Â <warm smile> Thank you all so much for your input. I realize I may be over analyzing some of these considerations but on this occassion it is VERY important to my wife and I that everything is as proper and correct as possible Respectfully, Â John G.
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9/27/04 at 7:59pm