Funny clean anecdote about groom, compliment bride, express love for both and wish them well, thank them for including you in their special day, encourage everyone to join you in toasting their marriage and new life together. Mic drop and peace out. Hit on every bridesmaid.
I'm assuming I fit "thank the parents" in there somewhere? And do I really have to hit on the little sister and dowager aunt too?
Simple enough at an Irish wedding, though I doubt my girlfriend would appreciate it.