They're not questions.
The shit test is possibly the most brilliant social weapon women have in their arsenal.
Also known as a "congruency test", the shit test is a tool used by women both consciously and unconsciously to "screen" the men they come into contact with into one of two categories: potential friend or potential lover.
The Evolutionary Underpinnings of the Shit Test
Women, being blessed with only a limited number of eggs (chances to reproduce) are sexual selectors: they must chose who they will (and will not) sleep with.
Men, having a basically unlimited number of sperm, ought to try to impregnate as many women as physically possible, in hopes that some of them will bear children.
Therefore, women are sexually receptive, and men are sexually aggressive. Women get many more offers for sex than men, and must choose which, if any, man she will decide to pair her eggs with in an effort to carry on her genes.
These evolutionary facts have carried over into modern society and dating despite recent technological advances like condoms and hormonal birth control.
But condoms and birth control are logical instruments; and choosing a mate is an emotional process for a woman.
Women, especially attractive women, get plenty of offers for sex - therefore they have learned to put a large part of their "screening" method on autopilot.
That automatic screening method is the shit test.
Examples and Logical Structure
A shit test is a beautiful double-edged sword; or maybe a more apt analogy is a Gordian knot, or the proverbial horns of a dilemma. It is usually phrased as a half statement / half question.
The most common shit test know to man is:
Does my bum look big in this?
Or, in a similar vein,
I'm fat
These question/statements have two very specific answers. One can either answer positively or negatively. As in,
"Yeah, actually, those pants do make your bum look fat."
Or,
"No, honey! Those don't make you look fat at all."
The crux of the dilemma, of course "” and what makes shit tests so powerful "” is that the girl doing the testing already knows the answer to her question, and therefore, both answers are "wrong".
If a girl is asking you if you think she's fat, or if something makes her LOOK fat, then I will guarantee you that either A) she IS fat, or B) whatever she's wearing DOES make her look fat.
If you respond in the positive, and affirm the reality that she already knows to be true, you are an asshole, because you are insulting her (doesn't matter that she invited you to do so).
On the other hand, if you DENY the reality that she is / looks fat, you are LYING TO HER FACE. She now knows you cannot be trusted; she sees that you are just trying to pacify her and make her feel good.
The question arises: "But don't women just want us to make them feel good, all the time?"
Yes and no. Women want to feel good, yes; but what makes them feel good is knowing they are attached to a real man, a man with his feet firmly set in reality, a man who can lead them and protect them "” a man, in short, who doesn't pander, doesn't fear their opinions, and generally makes his own way.
A man, in short, who won't lie to them to make them feel good.
So let's refine our definition of shit test.
A screening question or statement the answer to which is already know, that is structured in such a way that answering truthfully will kill the asker's attraction to you, and answering untruthfully will expose you as a liar for the rest of the conversation.
So here are some more examples of shit/congruency tests, to help you get a better feel...
What kind of car do you drive?
What do you do for a living?
What kind of degree do you have?
You say this to all the girls, don't you?
You're a player, aren't you?
That's a funny line, did you learn that on the Internet?
What were you doing last night?
You're funny (confident, sexy, any "compliment" given too freely)
I'm not going to sleep with you
I'm going to sleep with you
You think you're hot shit, don't you?
The idea is, all of these questions TEMPT you to lie (in order to placate her). At the same time, if you resist the temptation and tell the truth, you're not much better off - because you just responded in a logical, boring and descriptive way to a stupid rhetorical question, and now she sees you as just another boring, logical, descriptive guy who is trying to prove himself to her "” instead of a guy who can lead her in conversation and in life.
Do you see how brilliantly this structure screens guys? It truly separates the boring, normal guys who won't be able to excite her (in conversation and certainly not in bed) from the oily line-spitting guys who are just trying to talk their way into her pants.
If you watch Swingers, there's a scene where Mike and all the guys are at a Hollywood Hills party, and Mike and that guy from Office Space approach a pair of hot model-types. Mike makes a nice, calm introduction, and the first thing out of one of the girl's mouths is:
What kind of car do YOU drive?
Mike is so shocked by this random question that he stammers and she has to repeat it - by which point he's *already failed* the shit test (then, of course, after she's repeated the question, he ANSWERS it, and is promptly blown out).
What the model was doing, of course, was screening him for status. A high-status guy (movie producer type) would have a very expensive car. But of course, since the model could already tell that Mike wasn't high status, she knew that the fastest way to blow him out was to throw him that shit test that he couldn't possibly pass. (A movie producer, by the way, although he *would* have an expensive car, wouldn't tell her what kind of car he drove if he really was high-status. More on that in a minute).
Ahah, but there's the rub: shit tests are not ironclad screening tools. In fact, there is a way to pass them - or more accurately, a mental structure that will enable you to pass any shit test, anytime, anywhere, from any woman.
Passing Shit Tests - the Formulas that works 100% of the time
As it turns out, there are a couple of ways you can pass a shit test, strike through the Gordian knot / slip between the horns of the dilemma.
1. Ignore it
Pretend you didn't hear. Laugh it off or just pay attention to something else for a second. Let it roll off your back like water on a duck. This sounds easy, but to do it fully 100%, you have to really be totally nonreactive - I'm talking about down to the level of unconscious pupil dilation here. Otherwise she thinks you're just avoiding answering - which is better than answering, but is still not going to make her very attracted to you.
By ignoring it totally, though, you are saying in effect, "I won't be tested. I totally refuse." Which is dominant, but still a very blatant cop-out. Which is why I'll only use this method as an absolute last resort, if I really am caught off-guard and blindsided by some test.
2. Agree and Amplify
If a girl says "I'm fat," then "Yes, you're HYOOOOOGE." Or "It's just more cushin' for the pushin'." Agree and Amplify; show her you're not afraid to piss her off, but do it in a playful way. Don't INSULT her; poke fun at her (gently). The worst you'll get is a swat on the arm and that is proof that she is more attracted, not less.
Some people might also call this a "reframe"; a term which I believe is probably borrowed from political discourse terminology. You've taken her frame (the shit test) and turned it into something entirely different and non-threatening.
For instance, if she says, "You're a tough guy, aren't you?" You might say, "Yeah, so what is it you like about tough guys anyway?" Deliberately mis-interpreting her question as adoration, not a shit-test.
Reframing / Agreeing and Amplifying is powerful. It's my preferred method of answering shit tests. It demonstrates that not only are you not needy / logical, but neither are you willing to fall into her trap and try to lie to her face.
Being able to sidestep the shit test is one of the most important aspects of interacting with women. Without this knowledge, you will get shot down / disqualified 95% of the time by truly "hot" women automatically, without them even thinking about it. I've written a lot lately about more "advanced" topics like bisexual girlfriends and threesomes, but I really think this post, and getting this one area handled, is responsible for guys getting into better interactions, more quickly, than all the advanced sex-theory I will *ever* write.
Ultimately, we should be glad for shit tests. They help ensure that every woman we met hasn't already been plowed up one side and down the other by 15,000 other random guys.
Quote:
What is a Shit Test?The shit test is possibly the most brilliant social weapon women have in their arsenal.
Also known as a "congruency test", the shit test is a tool used by women both consciously and unconsciously to "screen" the men they come into contact with into one of two categories: potential friend or potential lover.
The Evolutionary Underpinnings of the Shit Test
Women, being blessed with only a limited number of eggs (chances to reproduce) are sexual selectors: they must chose who they will (and will not) sleep with.
Men, having a basically unlimited number of sperm, ought to try to impregnate as many women as physically possible, in hopes that some of them will bear children.
Therefore, women are sexually receptive, and men are sexually aggressive. Women get many more offers for sex than men, and must choose which, if any, man she will decide to pair her eggs with in an effort to carry on her genes.
These evolutionary facts have carried over into modern society and dating despite recent technological advances like condoms and hormonal birth control.
But condoms and birth control are logical instruments; and choosing a mate is an emotional process for a woman.
Women, especially attractive women, get plenty of offers for sex - therefore they have learned to put a large part of their "screening" method on autopilot.
That automatic screening method is the shit test.
Examples and Logical Structure
A shit test is a beautiful double-edged sword; or maybe a more apt analogy is a Gordian knot, or the proverbial horns of a dilemma. It is usually phrased as a half statement / half question.
The most common shit test know to man is:
Does my bum look big in this?
Or, in a similar vein,
I'm fat
These question/statements have two very specific answers. One can either answer positively or negatively. As in,
"Yeah, actually, those pants do make your bum look fat."
Or,
"No, honey! Those don't make you look fat at all."
The crux of the dilemma, of course "” and what makes shit tests so powerful "” is that the girl doing the testing already knows the answer to her question, and therefore, both answers are "wrong".
If a girl is asking you if you think she's fat, or if something makes her LOOK fat, then I will guarantee you that either A) she IS fat, or B) whatever she's wearing DOES make her look fat.
If you respond in the positive, and affirm the reality that she already knows to be true, you are an asshole, because you are insulting her (doesn't matter that she invited you to do so).
On the other hand, if you DENY the reality that she is / looks fat, you are LYING TO HER FACE. She now knows you cannot be trusted; she sees that you are just trying to pacify her and make her feel good.
The question arises: "But don't women just want us to make them feel good, all the time?"
Yes and no. Women want to feel good, yes; but what makes them feel good is knowing they are attached to a real man, a man with his feet firmly set in reality, a man who can lead them and protect them "” a man, in short, who doesn't pander, doesn't fear their opinions, and generally makes his own way.
A man, in short, who won't lie to them to make them feel good.
So let's refine our definition of shit test.
A screening question or statement the answer to which is already know, that is structured in such a way that answering truthfully will kill the asker's attraction to you, and answering untruthfully will expose you as a liar for the rest of the conversation.
So here are some more examples of shit/congruency tests, to help you get a better feel...
What kind of car do you drive?
What do you do for a living?
What kind of degree do you have?
You say this to all the girls, don't you?
You're a player, aren't you?
That's a funny line, did you learn that on the Internet?
What were you doing last night?
You're funny (confident, sexy, any "compliment" given too freely)
I'm not going to sleep with you
I'm going to sleep with you
You think you're hot shit, don't you?
The idea is, all of these questions TEMPT you to lie (in order to placate her). At the same time, if you resist the temptation and tell the truth, you're not much better off - because you just responded in a logical, boring and descriptive way to a stupid rhetorical question, and now she sees you as just another boring, logical, descriptive guy who is trying to prove himself to her "” instead of a guy who can lead her in conversation and in life.
Do you see how brilliantly this structure screens guys? It truly separates the boring, normal guys who won't be able to excite her (in conversation and certainly not in bed) from the oily line-spitting guys who are just trying to talk their way into her pants.
If you watch Swingers, there's a scene where Mike and all the guys are at a Hollywood Hills party, and Mike and that guy from Office Space approach a pair of hot model-types. Mike makes a nice, calm introduction, and the first thing out of one of the girl's mouths is:
What kind of car do YOU drive?
Mike is so shocked by this random question that he stammers and she has to repeat it - by which point he's *already failed* the shit test (then, of course, after she's repeated the question, he ANSWERS it, and is promptly blown out).
What the model was doing, of course, was screening him for status. A high-status guy (movie producer type) would have a very expensive car. But of course, since the model could already tell that Mike wasn't high status, she knew that the fastest way to blow him out was to throw him that shit test that he couldn't possibly pass. (A movie producer, by the way, although he *would* have an expensive car, wouldn't tell her what kind of car he drove if he really was high-status. More on that in a minute).
Ahah, but there's the rub: shit tests are not ironclad screening tools. In fact, there is a way to pass them - or more accurately, a mental structure that will enable you to pass any shit test, anytime, anywhere, from any woman.
Passing Shit Tests - the Formulas that works 100% of the time
As it turns out, there are a couple of ways you can pass a shit test, strike through the Gordian knot / slip between the horns of the dilemma.
1. Ignore it
Pretend you didn't hear. Laugh it off or just pay attention to something else for a second. Let it roll off your back like water on a duck. This sounds easy, but to do it fully 100%, you have to really be totally nonreactive - I'm talking about down to the level of unconscious pupil dilation here. Otherwise she thinks you're just avoiding answering - which is better than answering, but is still not going to make her very attracted to you.
By ignoring it totally, though, you are saying in effect, "I won't be tested. I totally refuse." Which is dominant, but still a very blatant cop-out. Which is why I'll only use this method as an absolute last resort, if I really am caught off-guard and blindsided by some test.
2. Agree and Amplify
If a girl says "I'm fat," then "Yes, you're HYOOOOOGE." Or "It's just more cushin' for the pushin'." Agree and Amplify; show her you're not afraid to piss her off, but do it in a playful way. Don't INSULT her; poke fun at her (gently). The worst you'll get is a swat on the arm and that is proof that she is more attracted, not less.
Some people might also call this a "reframe"; a term which I believe is probably borrowed from political discourse terminology. You've taken her frame (the shit test) and turned it into something entirely different and non-threatening.
For instance, if she says, "You're a tough guy, aren't you?" You might say, "Yeah, so what is it you like about tough guys anyway?" Deliberately mis-interpreting her question as adoration, not a shit-test.
Reframing / Agreeing and Amplifying is powerful. It's my preferred method of answering shit tests. It demonstrates that not only are you not needy / logical, but neither are you willing to fall into her trap and try to lie to her face.
Being able to sidestep the shit test is one of the most important aspects of interacting with women. Without this knowledge, you will get shot down / disqualified 95% of the time by truly "hot" women automatically, without them even thinking about it. I've written a lot lately about more "advanced" topics like bisexual girlfriends and threesomes, but I really think this post, and getting this one area handled, is responsible for guys getting into better interactions, more quickly, than all the advanced sex-theory I will *ever* write.
Ultimately, we should be glad for shit tests. They help ensure that every woman we met hasn't already been plowed up one side and down the other by 15,000 other random guys.
