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Best-Of-Craigslist - Page 3

post #31 of 75
Hahahaha, MetroStyles, that one is amazing. Way to sell it!
post #32 of 75
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)


Reply to: [?]
Date: 2008-11-26, 5:55PM MST
OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kick@!ss. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

Location: Ronan / Lake County
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 935623801
post #33 of 75
post #34 of 75
I remember the one posted one December about a guy who wanted to sleep with Santa Claus....but also insisted that he wasn't into older men.
post #35 of 75

$105 Unique offer for a unique woman (East Village)

Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-01-05, 2:02PM EST

Many of you who read this ad are going to find it very offensive. Please
understand that while this offer might not work for you, there are people out there in this world that have different levels of comfort with certain ideas
that might be offensive to the majority of the population.

I got this idea from an article in Time Out New York that I read a while ago. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment that I inherited and now own. I live alone in the East Village, and have an empty bedroom and a lot of space. I am offering the empty room w/private bathroom for only $105 a month. Here is the catch...of
course there is a catch. I'm a white late 20's guy that works in finance. I work A LOT and therefore my social life has become nonexistent. So, I want to add a little bit of excitement to my life. I would like to rent the room to a woman between the age of 18-27.

You should be a free spirited, liberal minded person who is very open minded. I would like you to be a slim attractive girl who is OK with occasionally walking around or hanging out in her underwear <---yes...that would be the slightly crazy part.

I would never ask you to strip or do anything at all. You must be someone who
occasionally walks around like that and is ok with me being around when you do. I know this is a strange arrangement, but like I said earlier, I am trying to add some exitement to my life I am not looking for anything to develop into a relationship, or to have you start acting like a girlfriend. If you are interested, send me an email so I can discuss it further with you. There is no sexual contact or anything involved. I WOULD NEED THE ARRANGEMENT TO BE 100% CONFIDENTIAL. I know that it makes no sense to put my pic on here if I want it to be confidential, but I figured it was a necessary risk to take if I wanted solid responses. If you are interested please send me your pic. It does not have to be a provocative pic. But a body pic would help.

The apartment is huge-near St Marks. The kitchen is big...very bright living area. The room for rent is very big too AND HAS ITS OWN BATHROOM. PLEASE do NOT
respond by saying "WHY WOULD A GUY AS GOOD LOOKING AS YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS". We all have our reasons.....Thanks

post #36 of 75
This guy must think that some gals will really go the extra mile for an iphone!

houston craigslist > electronics

best of craigslist

iphone 3G 8gig for sale------>350 and 3G 16 gig - $350 (southwest)
Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-02-03, 10:17PM CST

i have an iphone without box but have
all accesories... it is in good condition color is black...i also have an 3G 16gig for sale as well.. im asking for that one 480... but most of all i prefer meeting a girl... and no im not lying if your a girl and you know how to have a good time you will get one of these phones... for more info text 832 606 2512 girls will get a head start... dont be shy and send pictures... and please be reasonable.

* Location: southwest
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1020023196
post #37 of 75
Originally Posted by coopster View Post

post #38 of 75
These are great! love the cement block one
post #39 of 75
The guy will trade his dog for a Macbook

Might trade his wife for a gaming computer
post #40 of 75
Wonder if this guy was drinking last night?

We are fortunate that he uploaded a picture and here is his great ad!

And here is the guy:

Nice, eh?

He looks like an angry fighting dwarf.

BTW: I also, personally placed an ad giving away a free washing machine. My old one started acting up so I got a new front loader. As soon as I placed the ad the phone started ringing off the hook. People love free stuff!

Here's a copy of the ad:

Washing machine, free, works, needs minor repair (Central/Heights)
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-08, 7:54AM CDT

Hello, I have a free Roper ( by Whirlpool ) heavy duty large capacity washing machine. It works but needs some minor repair. The condition is good but the machine powers on and starts the cleaning cycle but then stays there. You can advance the cycle manually on the dial, if that makes sense. Call me and I'll explain. The machine would be great for someone that can do a minor repair themselves or would be worth having a minor repair done to it.

Call 832 ... .... for directions and any questions. You will need a truck and a helper ( or I'll help load it on the truck with you ). Call 832 ... .... It's located right off Washington Ave. near Memorial Park.

* Location: Central/Heights
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I wonder how many calls an ad for free pussy would get? Probably in the thousands! And with what is going on with craigslist, this is not so far fetched.
post #41 of 75
Originally Posted by rnoldh View Post
Wonder if this guy was drinking last night?

We are fortunate that he uploaded a picture and here is his great ad!

And here is the guy:

Nice, eh?

He looks like an angry fighting dwarf.

flagged off. Photo looked promising.
post #42 of 75
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
flagged off. Photo looked promising.

I reported it for unauthorized use of my image. If I aint gettin paid, I aint gettin played.
post #43 of 75
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

This one should be required reading.

HS would have been less agonising if someone had told me something like this back then.
post #44 of 75
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post
Looks like SoCal is sending out a call to his elven brethren.

Being a fanboy (or girl) is fine, but when one can't even get the genre (or the facts) straight, it becomes a waste of everybody's time. Poseur, and a pretentious one at that.

Even a half-hearted SCA-er would be more convincing.
post #45 of 75
The washing machine is gone. Free stuff draws people like flies to shit!

OMG, if we could only offer free pussy on craigslist ( and somehow benefit from it )

A woman can. Think about it. Though the benefits are debatable
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