why marry? - Page 3

Harry Burns:

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

lefty

I will try to give you a "sensical" reason to get married in the US at least (I don't konw other countries' laws):

Do a benefit-cost analysis of obtaining immediate right to inherent your partner's stuff, to visit your parnter in the hospital and make decisions about their health care when they are unable, etc. as a married couple versus as an unmarried couple.

Getting married in Maryland, where my wife and I did, took $55, some easy paperwork, and patience to wait 48 hours for the license to be valid. Then you ask someone to marry you and they send the now signed license to the county.

Comare that to hiring a lawyer and filling out all that paperwork.

One is obviously cheaper and quicker.

Or you can get married, as I did, to have a big ass party where, as an aside, you take fifteens minutes to make the major life-long commitment to one person by reading a sappy vow of love and decidation that includes a reference to the Dewey Decimal system because she's a librarian. All infront of 100 of your clostest friends and family.

b

Mine is absolutely not recognized by any god. Mine is a completely civil marriage, recognized by the state, family and friends, and by the rings by anonymous passers-by.




Much research says that this is not so. Children should be raised in a happy household with parents of any stripe, be they male-female or of the same sex.

This argument is a huge basis for denying gay couples the right to marriage. My wife and I will not be having any children. Should we not have the right to marry? (That's not aimed at you Kai.)




I have no idea what this means. No kids here and I happily asked my wife to marry me.

b

bob,

agree with you completly on all counts.

Why is a women's desire for commitment irrational?

I want to grow old with a woman who I've promised to spend my life with, and who has promised to spend hers with me. Making those promises publicly, having God as my witness, makes me feel the committment is stronger--from my side and from hers. And I hope that feeling of mutual committment will help us through the tough times that will inevitably come. Plus, I want to show the whole world that I think this is the greatest woman ever, and I don't know any better way of showing that than by marrying her.

me too, and frankly I feel like my wife did me a favor rather than the other way around. edit: I do believe that kids should ideally have a two parent household and think it makes a huge difference.

For that matter, why are the sentiments of the (presumably) male posters gdl203 and JBZ on page 1 of this thread irrational or unpersuasive? It's not only women who desire commitment, permanence, and deep intimacy.

I find myself asking myself this question considering I hit the big 3-0 a few months ago. I'm not for or against marriage rather I've decided to remain neutral and let life happen as it may for me. I know lots of people who are not married and they still have lots of friends and lead very active social lives. I know i'm usually pretty busy with all of the friends I have through my riding adventures as well as my career.

I see all too often people who get married and have children just "for the sake of it" or because if you don't get married you are then officially a wierdo etc etc.... All good citizens get married...etc etc.... These are not the right reasons. Both of my brothers are married, have kids etc and are very happy with it. They did it for the right reasons, because of love and common life goals etc.... I want to do the same for myself. I don't want to get married to please my parents, i want to get married to please myself and the love of my life (whomever that may ever be). THAT is how it should be. Or else I stay single and carry on with my other 2 careers. I have many goals I want to achieve in life. Life is far from over for me.

Lots of people say you'll never be happy if you don't get married but I've found quite the contrary in many cases. Nothing in life is a hard fast rule. I see tons of people who are married who are unhappy, complain constantly or much worse yet find themselves in abusive relationships. And many single people are unhappy too. Life is what you make of it and if you find the right person and you click and you find that no matter how much time you spend with this person you can never get enough of her then maybe it's time to take the relationship another big step further. But unless the compatability is there, marriage is not a good idea so far as i can tell. I was engaged once and yes it was a hasty decision and I'm glad i never married her as it would not have ever worked.

Oldhoss

The only thing one needs to consider before popping the question is, "When she croaks, will this be me?" l

Being self employed I pay rediculous amounts for health insurance. Marriage gives the option to jump on my wife's locked in plan with more benefits for less money. Hooray! Oh yeah and that love thing too.

I never argued (or even hinted) that anyone shouldn't be allowed to marry if they were not planning on having children. I simply said that if you want kids, that is a reason to marry. Before you bring children into this world, it's your responsibility to provide them a good environment. In my opinion, marriage is one of the ingredients for creating such an environment.

As for gay marriage, what is the "huge argument" you are referring to?
I can think of a lot of reasons why I am opposed to gay marriage, but the inability of a gay couple to procreate is not one of them.

I don't believe your "much research" that says that kids are not better off in a stable home with a mother and a father. Clearly, you can find examples of two parent homes that are lousy, but I don't need "much research" to know that generally, kids are better off with both a mother and a father.

I'm with Chris Rock on this one:

"A bunch of girls think that you don't need no man to help you raise no child...
Shut the fuck up with the bullshit!
Yeah, you can do it without a man, but it don't mean it's to be done!
Shit! You can drive a car with your feet if you want to; it don't mean its a good fucking idea."

Marriage is the death of hope. (Woody Allen)

It's just a great way to start a sentence. "My wife has an inner ear infection..."

Being married makes you more attractive to single women.