Ideal Day - Page 2

Haha, I'm thinking after is more likely: "Dude, check it out, I thought it would be cool to throw some of that funky grass growing outside into that chicks beer cup, and I think it made her cancer go away."

Why, because they're hot? That's an argument that jealous people make. Being extremely good-looking doesn't render someone less intelligent. It just makes it easier for them to get by without a high IQ, should they not be blessed with both. And for that matter, a high iq isn't necessarily correlated with being a good conversationalist either.

Anyway, my perfect day would include sex with adriana lima followed by sex with Alessandra. And since it's my ideal day, they'd both love me and fight over who got to marry me. Sex with one or both of those two girls would make anything else that happened during the day pretty irrelevant.

hmmm.... hard to say. probrably would involve my family, excellent weather - not to cold, not to hot, and a nice location - Bolonga, Paris, Athens, Prague, or maybe a nice beach in Asia. an excellent meal or two, a nice walk. a little bit of sex while the kids napped. a good cigar, with a good beer.

that would pretty much make a perfect day.

I'm sure you've all seen these before, but I still think they're pretty much spot-on:

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN:

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Bush resigns.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

I can't improve much on the guy's one, except that I wouldn't wake up so early. And an alarm on my perfect day? I'll just wake up to the blowjob, thank you.

The Idealistic Day: One of the things would be to drive Michael Schumacher's Ferrari Formula 1 car.

Eddie Irvine said it feels better than sex.... the thrill of a F1 car, but, alas, not so easy to get one....

For golfers: True Golf Fans (die hard) would rather play Pine Valley Golf Club... THE #1 course in the world.

Everybody knows Pebble and Augusta.

The Idealistic Suit day: Take over Brioni and go back to the way it used to be.

... then they start hitting each other with pillows and ripping each others clothes off. And you enter the room in your silk robe and start kissing them and a wild 3some that lasts for 40 minutes ensue. I think I watch too much porn.