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Marrying rich. - Page 3

post #31 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad View Post
Rich who?

Oh you.
post #32 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkzzzz View Post
Folks here talk about being lazy as if it comes easily and naturally to everyone. Let me tell you: "To be lazy or to do nothing requires a great deal of discipline".
One my relatives in another generation had a daily routine of trips to the spa then some time at the teahouse. Afterwards, it was back to bed for some opium and then maybe some small accounting details. He had an extremely large parcel of land in the country which provided him with income--this was in Shanghai during the '30s and '40s.
post #33 of 63
I'm not married to my girl, but we've been seeing each other for quite some time now. She isn't significantly wealthier than me, but she definitely has more money. I've never really asked for details, but I think she makes maybe 1.5-2 x my salary. The upside is that she pays for most incidental things (meals at restaurants, movie tickets, etc.) and buys me stuff like shirts and jackets once in a while. The downside is that she expects slightly nicer (ie. pricier) gifts from me than would be normal. Probably the oddest part of the whole thing is that there are fewer "special occasions." She'll drink champagne or a nice wine just for the hell of it instead of saving the bottle for a certain event because she can just buy more. Maybe the biggest downside is that she'll overpay on stuff or want me to buy something she thinks is reasonably priced (but isn't in my IMO). It's also a little emasculating sometimes.

But I got over it
post #34 of 63
Massive difference between marrying a wealthy professional (banker, corporate lawyer) and marrying someone with inherited wealth. I am probably going to be one of the former (at least comapratively wealthy as against the average joe), and would be happy marrying same, but probably not the latter. I was nearly involved once with a girl who came from not insignificant money, and while she was absolutely lovely and responsible and not ostentatious or vulgar, she just didn't *understand* me in some ways. She was very bright and capable, and I'm sure she'll be successful in her own right. That still doesn't change things though. We sort of parted ways when she suggested I spend some time with her in France, and while I'd have liked nothing better, I had no obvious means of funding such an adventure...
post #35 of 63
I think that a distinction needs to be made between inherited wealth (like 50-100 mil) and what Conne was talking about which amounts to a fair sized trust fund. I am already married, so I have no opinion.
post #36 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt View Post
I think that a distinction needs to be made between inherited wealth (like 50-100 mil) and what Conne was talking about which amounts to a fair sized trust fund.

I am already married, so I have no opinion.

Maybe we should ask your wife.
post #37 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt View Post
I think that a distinction needs to be made between inherited wealth (like 50-100 mil) and what Conne was talking about which amounts to a fair sized trust fund.

I am already married, so I have no opinion.

Yeah, I guess so.

IMO, anything $10 million+ is pretty damn rich. No one really needs like $20 billion to lead a good life.
post #38 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
Maybe we should ask your wife.
She has mentioned that she would like to marry up.
post #39 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt View Post
She has mentioned that she would like to marry up.

post #40 of 63
Money didn't really matter as much in high school as much as after college when the chicks really start hunting and their prioirities change. You definitely see some eyes light up on encounter of money. However, haven't had many weddings to go to yet.
post #41 of 63
I don't mind marrying someone far richer, its just that us Chinese folks have this notion that you're not just marrying the girl, you're marrying into the family. And that causes a lot of complications.
post #42 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidicboy View Post
I don't mind marrying someone far richer, its just that us Chinese folks have this notion that you're not just marrying the girl, you're marrying into the family. And that causes a lot of complications.
Thats why you elope to the philippines! haha. I would think that only the "girl" side would refuse to marry down, as they would be giving away their daughter anyway
post #43 of 63
In actual fact, while its fun to fantasize about marrying rich, the fact is the social background, social circles and ideology is so different.

How do a regular joe associate with a girl who's dad has a helicopter and pilot to chauffeur him around, who spends her holidays in places that cost more than what his family earns in a year and mixes with people one reads in society pages.

Would the regular joe have anything in common to talk to her about?
post #44 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by The False Prophet View Post
I was nearly involved once with a girl who came from not insignificant money, and while she was absolutely lovely and responsible and not ostentatious or vulgar, she just didn't *understand* me in some ways.

She was very bright and capable, and I'm sure she'll be successful in her own right. That still doesn't change things though. We sort of parted ways when she suggested I spend some time with her in France, and while I'd have liked nothing better, I had no obvious means of funding such an adventure...

In my final year of university, I had a relationship with a young woman who was a) a model and b) came from a wealthy family.

From a psychological and philosophical standpoint, I found our relationship fascinating. I found it interesting that I actually felt quite uncomfortable when I went out with her, because the eyes of pretty much all the men in any room we entered would be on her. On the other hand, she was almost oblivious to the attention as she was so accustomed to being ogled (whether it be overtly or covertly). I noticed that I began to deliberately steer our dates towards places that would have fewer people, just so we wouldn't have many people looking at us.

Anyway, the dealbreaker in the relationship was not her wealth, but the fact that she seemed almost incapable of talking for any length of time about things that were not associated with the trappings of wealth and social status. When we spent the weekend at her family's holiday home in a rather exclusive coastal resort, the conversation revolved around who would be there, where they lived/would be staying, who they would have with them, what they would be driving, what their parents had bought for them recently, where they had been for the holidays, and other such topics. Whilst she was not stupid - she was doing very well at university - she had no curiosity about life or indeed anything outside her own social circle and its trappings.

Ultimately, it seemed to me that these type of people are largely self-perpetuating. They mix in fairly exclusive circles, and they reinforce the exclusivity by talking about people that they know, or social details about which they are knowledgeable. Unless you are effectively sponsored by someone, it's quite difficult to break into the circle. Although I was "lucky" enough to be sponsored by my then-girlfriend, I found that I didn't want to enter the circle, as I found it deadly boring.

F. Scott Fitzpatrick wrote, "The rich are different from you and I" and perhaps that's not too wrong - just as with any social clique, rich people tend to set themselves apart by adopting a set of customs or practices that tends to exclude people who are not privy to that knowledge set. Of course, that is a generalisation and not all rich people are like that - I know a man who owns his own management consulting company and is conservatively worth some $10 million, but he chooses to live simply and drives a Honda Prelude.
post #45 of 63
I am in a wierd situation with this - my wife comes from a family that was pretty rich for a while, and then lost most of their money. so, on the one hand, I didn't get any money out of it, on the other hand, my wife was brought up rich, and her famliy acted as though I was marrying into the family for the money, which they seem to not have noticed isn't there any more.

that part of it is wierd - my wife's mother and uncles don't really work, and they don't really know anybody who does, or at least none of their friends do. they all have maids and drivers (as did my wife growing up). so, a few years ago when I wanted to make a major change in our lives, for economic reasons, my wife couldn't really grasp the idea - to make a choice based on how it would affect your future salary was simply something that she had never encountered or heard of.

I have to say that this is the single biggest area of friction between us - she has, in the past 10 years, really learned to think differently. but it was very hard for us to understand what the other was thinking about economic issues, and it made it very very hard for me to identify with her family.
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