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hlp w/ conversation openers (not cheezy pick up lines) - Page 2

post #16 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post
Stop right there. At the conclusion of the word "wearing," the woman will automatically have determined that you are gay. Especially if you say the above in a less than masculine way.
Please do not do this, OP.

No .. there's nothing gay about it if you deliver it right. Those thing I have said sounds silly or unrealistic to you if you don't understand the game. When woman think a man is gay, that's a good thing, actually...
post #17 of 54
I've been studying this very topic for a while now, and all the experts say that it doesn't really matter what you say. The point is that you say it with confidence and congruity as well as the knowledge that you aren't desperate or needy and just enjoy chatting with people.

That being said, it might help if what you said showed a little cockiness as well as good-natured humor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wing8tes_qw View Post
I saw the most gorgeous girl in my building yesterday. We shared an elevator. I tried to chat her up but it was awkward. Her smiles were clearly out of pity.



It went down like this:

me> man this elevator is always so slow

chick>yeah

me> laundry day huh?

chick> just a few things.

me> where u from? (I detected accent)

chick> I'm from here

wield silence... we both exit the same floor. This is how my pickups (lack of) usually go. I'm thinking maybe well cross again, hopefully its not her bf place. I want to step it up. You know... go out for drinks and back to my room. I rarely get the opp and when I do its with kinda cute girls that find me attractive. I want to date women I find attractive.

I'm trying to think of things as conversation openers, so I can do better at attracting women and getting numbers on the spot. Unless there's some obvious interest, or at least a smile, I never get the job done.

post #18 of 54
I like use something that would be a cheesy pickup line, except for being delivered in such an OTT self-effacing fashion that they have no choice but to be amused. "What's a nice girl like you doing in an elevator like this?" for example. It takes a bit of doing to get it right, but the idea is that you are almost being so daft that there is no way that you could be trying to pick them up. This prompts that most powerful of aphrodisiacs, intrigue. Wondering just what the f*** you're doing, in other words. This is best employed in a situation such as a party, where you can introduce yourself to someone, do this for a little while, then ignore them and talk to other people. Leaving them to stew in curiosity for a while. More often than not, if they're interested, they will find an excuse to pick up the conversation. By being flirtatious but not aggressive about it, you remove any awkwardness from talking to you and make yourself more approachable. By giving them some space, you let them really think about it and avoid immediate kneejerk rejection because they feel pressured or crowded. Instead, you empower them to more openly express their feelings, once they're sure what they are. Then, if you're sure you're onto something, then you can proceed in a more forward manner...
post #19 of 54
look maybe i'm just full of s**t but how about you try getting comfortable with who you are first? it doesn't matter what you say as long as you're honest and confident. if you start talking about how you love edy's fruit bars when it's hot because that's what you like, she'll either laugh or think you're a wierdo, you move on. i think hanging around here looking for 'lines' is not getting you anywhere.

instead of trying to sound like you're more interesting then you are how about working out, reading the paper, reading more books etc and become more interesting?

btw, why did you freak out when she said she was from here? you detected an accent, why didn't you follow through with that? i don't think the problem was with the opener, the problem is you weren't confident enough to follow through on the conversation--you did the hard part which is opened, you gave up too easily!
post #20 of 54
Honestly I find that I am most charismatic, and confident, when I don't give a shit. So, if you can fool your body (and mind) into not caring then you'll act more confident, less awkward, and not care if you get turned down at all.
post #21 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidicboy View Post
There's this article in Esquire about "Radical Honesty", a movement that advocates that "we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths"and the founder of the movement narrated how....

Didn't work in Tootsie.
post #22 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by minhi View Post
look maybe i'm just full of s**t but how about you try getting comfortable with who you are first? it doesn't matter what you say as long as you're honest and confident. if you start talking about how you love edy's fruit bars when it's hot because that's what you like, she'll either laugh or think you're a wierdo, you move on. i think hanging around here looking for 'lines' is not getting you anywhere.

instead of trying to sound like you're more interesting then you are how about working out, reading the paper, reading more books etc and become more interesting?

btw, why did you freak out when she said she was from here? you detected an accent, why didn't you follow through with that? i don't think the problem was with the opener, the problem is you weren't confident enough to follow through on the conversation--you did the hard part which is opened, you gave up too easily!

qft
post #23 of 54
Thread Starter 
1st off, thx 4 the advice everyone. I read the other forum about Connemara and it just clicked that I'm pretty much that guy. update: I totally get the whole "do not hesitate to act" I learned it the hard way this morning. Elevator again, I'm waiting, an attractive girl appears " 7", The other girl was HOTT "10". Anyhow she says good morning then basically replicated the exact conversation I had with the HOT girl, except she was engaging me. She got off at the lobby and I though Oh Geez so I went back to find her but she was gone. I had been practicing saying hi and chatting girls. Most were fairly uneventful. There was a girl was eating alone "6". I said "mmm that smells really yummy, how did you make that?" and made it a 15min chat. I didn't ask her out or get a phone or room number, kinda kicking myself (I should be working on that too).
post #24 of 54
Poking my tongue out at girls works for me. I dont know why, but its just kinda what I do. I poke out my tongue, they look at me funny. I do it again. They poke tongue out back. I walk over there and then <surplus fat trimmed> they sleep with me.
post #25 of 54
Complimenting a girl on her clothes/hair does work if you're confident and manly with it.

I work at a retail clothing store and use it all the time; girls really open up to things like that and not because they think you're gay. Just don't put it like 'oh my god that is so cute' rather say-- your hair looks really nice, I like that style.
post #26 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by razuel View Post
Complimenting a girl on her clothes/hair does work if you're confident and manly with it.
there's a skill to that.

Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see.

It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that.

Notice that stuff - then you score points.
post #27 of 54
Has anything exciting happened in your building lately (party, some type of new notice, something new added, pool closed or opened, etc)? Perhaps that may be something you both have in common since you both live in the same building. Something like "Have you heard about blah blah blah happening in the building" If she says yes then you say "what do you think of that?" and if not you can explain it and wait for her input or stoke her input with small questions. Mix small bits of humor in there but don't go overboard. If she laughs a lot or touches you, you are golden. Conversations are like trees, your main topic is the trunk and each detail leads to a new branch of conversation.
post #28 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
there's a skill to that. Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see. It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that. Notice that stuff - then you score points.
Notice that stuff, and women love you. Notice that stuff, and you're really loving women--the entire sex. I dig out on crap like that on the subway all the time. I start at the face, then I'm looking at the buttons on their blouse, the nail polish on their fingers or toes, whether they manicure or not, how they bundle their hair, the matching colors between their dress pattern and their earrings, the makeup they chose, etc. Women are really fricking creative the way they dress, despite the few threads to the contrary on SF.
Quote:
Originally Posted by visionology View Post
Conversations are like trees, your main topic is the trunk and each detail leads to a new branch of conversation.
Well put. OP, I had a similar thing happen on the street the other day, and I think people are right when they say, just keep talking. I'm getting to the point where I'm just chatting with anyone out and about. Not to pick up on anyone, but to get comfortable doing it. Once you're at the point, talking to a lady in the elevator will pretty much be akin to talking to her at a party.
post #29 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by m@T View Post
there's a skill to that.

Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see.

It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that.

Notice that stuff - then you score points.


Yeah this has worked in the past and I need to bring it back into rotation. This is the one reason why there needs to be a women's fashion forum, not for chicks, but for dudes to know the terminology so you can really wow them and talk about how their ass looks.
post #30 of 54
oh - and never never never compliment jewellery. The risk is just way too high that it was given to her by some other dude, and thus plummeting the conversation into lands unwanted. A slippery slope to friendland awaits you if you find yourself locked into some conversation about How He Could Be So Sweet When He Wanted To But Then He Just Turns.....when all you said was "hey, i love the blue in that ring"
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