Originally Posted by Connemara
Some of the posts in this thread made me wonder...do all of you guys really lose interest in a woman as a friend if she doesn't wanna bang you? I probably have an equal number of male and female comrades but tend to have more fun with the latter. Some of my "best friends" (women) don't even appear attractive anymore. They're just like one of the guys...I don't actively think about fooling around in the sack with them.
Is this odd?
Man, you're seriously going to get beat up for this one -- but not by me, obviously.
All the same, it's only odd in the rather nebulous regime that is what society thinks society thinks is the definition of masculinity in current American culture -- that doubled phrase in there was done on purpose, it matters. Men do not have to actively lapse into fantasizing about every reasonably attractive woman with breasts and a pulse that they see to be men. It is a switch you can flip. Quite frankly, I think it makes you more of a man that you aren't 'actively thinking about fooling around with' your female friends -- it is, in a sense, a gesture of respect.
I have a few treasured female friends, one very dear indeed, and though, in addition to their other gifts, they aren't in any sense hags, I don't fantasize about having sex with them. If I ever did I'd stop because I love them too much. If you can have initimate physical relationships without desire for intimacy in other ways, why not the converse? All the same I admit that I never think of them merely as 'one of the guys' but hey.
Remember, the tenets of Manhood are not defined in Webster's, nor in SF, and there are not an infinite number of paths, there is more than one way to be a man. There is a quote -- "a man's first obligation is to his definition of manhood." Find yours, be secure in it, then rock it hard. The rest will come.
(ps. Slapping of any sort, excepting only slapping other boorish men with your hand, or perhaps glove, is more being a dick than being a man. These days, some confuse being a dick with being a man, but there is a distinction, and many sadly cross that line in less dramatic, but no less wrong, ways. Sorry, but it had to be said.)