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Door opening etiquette

post #1 of 57
7/13/07 at 9:53am
Thread Starter 
What should a gentleman do in each of the following situations? Some of these in the past have caused unwanted awkwardness for me, and I've always been confused about what to do. Anybody care to shine some light?

1) A man and a woman approach a door. The door swings inwards. Should the man go first, and hold the door open for the woman as she enters? Or should the man stop, and allow the woman to proceed with opening the door?

- I've found this one always awkward. If the woman goes first, she is essentially doing all the work. If the man goes first, sometimes it feels like I'm cutting in front of her because I want to go first, even if I'm holding the door open for her afterwards.

2) A man and a woman approach a revolving door. Who goes first?

- first, I hate revolving doors. Sometimes the really old and poorly maintained ones are a bother to push. Othertimes I've nicked the backs of my shoes on them. I also don't like them because of that scene in the Godfather
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post #2 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:24am
The first situation is the most complicated. It is possible to actually hold the door for the lady even if it swings inward in some circumstances. Push it in and hold it open and stand aside for the lady to pass. In some really heavy doors this may not work.

As for a revolving door, let the lady go first.

The door situation that brings me the most confusion/awkwardness is the set of double doors. Inevitably, after holding the first door for the lady, I am now behind her, and unable to hold the second...
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post #3 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:32am
For the first example I would move through the door and hold it. I make an exagerated movement when I cut in front of her so there is no question that I'm doing it for her, ie walkfast and put your arms out. I wouldn't recomend standing outside and pushing the door because this can be awkward unless you have long arms and can reach to open the door for her without encroaching on her space.

Revolving door she should go first.
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post #4 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:32am
What I hate is when guys hold the door open for other, unburdened guys. Really bothers me.
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post #5 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:39am
^ So you should just let the door slam on their face?

Bandwagonesque, I used to have that issue until I stopped worrying about it. If you can always hold a door open for a woman (or anyone coming right behind you), if you can't it's ok for her to do it herself. So no, don't cut in front of a woman to hold a door open cause you'll just look silly. Let her open the door, then hold it open for her if you can.
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post #6 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:52am
A tip from my days of giving school admissions tours:

When the door has a knob, be the first to grab it. This is NOT rude-- it is essential for what then follows.
If the door opens into your current room, pull it back and stand clear.
If it opens into the next room, be the first to walk through and stand holding the door, waiting for your party to follow.

Our school didn't have revolving doors (although they might have, given the expulsion rate), so I can't comment there. The same general principle would hold, I think. If it's a stiff door, walk through first and keep pushing. Exceptions would be if it's raining in buckets outside or 10 below zero. Then you might have the guest escape the weather first but push the door along after her.
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post #7 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:53am
Thread Starter 
I just read this in another thread. According to Thom Browne:

Quote:
Men don't know enough about being courteous toward women. You should get into a cab before a woman so she doesn't have to slide across the seat. And you should always go first into a revolving door so she doesn't have to push"”unless it's moving, then let her go first.
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post #8 of 57
7/13/07 at 10:54am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan View Post
What I hate is when guys hold the door open for other, unburdened guys. Really bothers me.

What if the unburdened guy was Conne?
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post #9 of 57
7/13/07 at 11:29am
I would guess that most women also don't know what is polite and proper for men to do with regards to opening doors. Thus, if you make the effort, they'll probably be impressed.

For example, often when a door opens out, and I begin to open it, women will stand right in the way, expecting me to go through the door first.

The truly impressive one is if you open and close the car door for her. Nearly no one does that anymore.
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post #10 of 57
7/13/07 at 12:52pm
^ Or when you hold a door open for a woman and she gives you a strange look. I hate women like that - never been treated well or don't know how to appreciate good manners.
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post #11 of 57
7/13/07 at 12:57pm
the revolving door one is a rule that few know, adn it feels ackward, but you go first, unless it is already spinning.


to some extent, the idea is for you to do the work, so you push the door, you hold the door open (which ever way it swings)
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post #12 of 57
7/13/07 at 1:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan View Post
What I hate is when guys hold the door open for other, unburdened guys. Really bothers me.

This seems odd, but I can see where you're coming from. When I'm out with friends and one of them hold the door open for me (usually when we both arrive to the door at the same time), I begrudge having to walk through it. He's just being polite obviously, but it's still awkward.
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post #13 of 57
7/13/07 at 1:32pm
Thom Browne said most guys dont know proper etiquette and then said that for a revolving door the guy should go first so the girl does not have to push. Unless the door is already revolving by someone else then she should go first. It makese sense to me... thiswas in the latest details.. edit: and I missed the posts about it already..... what about hte cab one? is that true??
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post #14 of 57
7/13/07 at 1:33pm
When I was about six years old, I got "stuck" holding the door at a department store for what seemed like an eternity (in reality probably about 45 seconds). I was holding the door, and people kept coming through. Nobody reached out to take hold of the door and I was convinced it would be horribly rude to just let go. Finally my mom, who had walked on for a bit without noticing that I wasn't behind her, turned around, came back, and said something along the lines of "What the hell are you doing?" Had that not happened, I might still be there today.
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post #15 of 57
7/13/07 at 1:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghulkhan View Post
Thom Browne said most guys dont know proper etiquette and then said that for a revolving door the guy should go first so the girl does not have to push. Unless the door is already revolving by someone else then she should go first. It makese sense to me...
thiswas in the latest details..

I'm supposed to take etiquette advice from a guy who doesn't wear socks with his suits and dress shoes?
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