Originally Posted by Tarmac
"Look at my button down striped shirt! F*cking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I'm coming home with some p*ssy tonight! That's right! It's been a long week at the Jiffy Lube and it's time to blow off a little steam!
My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too! One of them is high on Meth! Two are prepubesent! But we got fake IDs!
I can almost taste those JÃ¤ger Bombs right now! I f*cking love Red Bull! I put it on my God damned cereal! And I love Heineken! I'm crushing one right now!
I'm gonna fight someone tonight! I pray to God someone makes eye contact with me! I will beat his ass all the way back to New Jersey! And God help him if he gets any blood on my striped shirt! If he does, I'll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it!
I'm gonna grind on girls asses tonight! You heard me! When I see a group of girls dancing in a circle, I will select the most attractive one and dry hump her until it hurts! I will rub my cock against her so that she can feel my throbbing hard on!
I will call female bartenders "Babe" and male bartenders "Brah"!
When I do not hook up with a girl at that club, I will say that the place is "full of skanks"! We will wait in a long line to go to another bar only to strike out again!
I will give up and decide to order a gyro off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! Oh wait, he's my uncle Vinnie! I will look ridiculous purchasing my gyro because people will be able to tell by my striped shirt and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a gyro!
I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two big girls who are also ordering gyros to coming back to my place for an "after hours oil check"! When they say no I will make fun of them for being fat! I will leave!
I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I'll be ready to fucking party again tomorrow in my striped shirt!"http://blog.turntablelab.com/2006/12/trend_report.html