Guys giving me a hard time at work because I wear suits all the time

Hello everyone I am a long time reader and a new member. -- 24 year old working in a "business casual" workplace in New Jersey where I started right out of college. What most of the men wear to the office is disappointing. Casual Friday in the 1990's started a trend toward "everyday is Friday" as far as the wardrobe is concerned. Nowadays the younger generation has no one to look up to and what men wear has gone beyond a point of no return. Ladies however are as professional looking as they've ever been. Workplaces think they are being google and attracting google type talent with the lax dress code when they are doing just the opposite. (Attracting the bad ones and letting the good ones leave for greener pastures)

I've always heard the joking comments like "hey you got a debate with the president tonight?" But now, I think people are taking it more seriously and think I emanate a pretentious vibe. There might be a chance the perception is impacting me and my career in a negative way. I repeatedly explain to people that I dress a certain way because I like the way I look and enjoy dressing like a gentleman. But apparently when in rome, you are supposed to do as the romans do?

Am I just at the wrong company? Or are all companies like this? Are 24 year old's not supposed to be passionate about traditional clothing? Can dressing too well hurt my career? I see many young men that don't know the first thing about cars, watches, shoes, suits, scotches, briefcases etc. Sometimes I wonder if there are still people like this in the world. (Until I get in a bidding war on ebay) Is men dressing poorly cyclical? or are we just doomed?

I don't understand threads like this.

In your position, I would aim to dress in high quality business casual clothes (i.e. Mercer OCBD, tailored cotton drills or wool trousers, good shoes). Why dress in suits if it diminishes your effectiveness in the workplace and attracts the derision of your colleagues?

You just posted a selfie of your multi-thousand dollar watch in business class (clarified in the caption just to make sure we get the idea) and you're surprised and vexed that people might find you pretentious?

On the point just of wearing suits, yes it will make a difference in how people perceive you, especially if you serve with a side of other expensive gewgaws. Some people revel in this, or are affable and quirky enough to make themselves seem more aesthete than asshole. But you have to own it in one way or another. If you just plow ahead under the assumption that you are dressing correctly and those around you are dressing incorrectly, then it will probably irk at least some people.

Adhere to the dress code of your workplace. Wearing suits in a business casual environment is just as inappropriate as wearing business casual in an environment wherein everyone is wearing suits.

You dress well, but you may need to tone it down a bit to fit in better at work. Even then you will still be dressing better than your colleagues. I'd say lose the jacket and tie and you'll be good to go.

This has got to be trolling. Even so - you work in New Jersey. Stop being such a toolbag and get some gold chains. Look everyone I'm reading "the intelligent investor"!

bjornb17 said:

You dress well, but you may need to tone it down a bit to fit in better at work. Even then you will still be dressing better than your colleagues. I'd say lose the jacket and tie and you'll be good to go.

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Thanks, You are right I think I should lay low and stay under the radar for a bit. Summer time might be a good time to do it.

U do U.

Don worry bout da haterz

My office is a bit relaxed so I'll give you my take.

Don't wear a suit to work if your boss or supervisor isn't. Dress according to the environment and clientele. Now that spring is here maybe wear polo shirts and clean jeans or chinos with a nice pair of chukka boots.

I suppose if you wanted to dress up a bit for a meeting you could always throw a very casual sport coat over a polo shirt or if your office is very lax, a nice clean fitting v-neck t-shirt. And by t-shirts, I mean mature looking ones. Don't be a lame ass and wear Ed Hardy or some other trendy **** under a sport coat.



slickback said:

I repeatedly explain to people that I dress a certain way because I like the way I look and enjoy dressing like a gentleman.

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Right, I usually wear jeans and a polo on Friday to switch it up but most people "work from home" on Fridays.

I think the polo shirts and khakis is a good look for the spring/summer.

You remember back in college, when people would call athletes "meat heads"? Or how they would refer to someone who was brilliant as a "nerd"? I always thought it was silly, but it illustrates something about human nature. It's very hard for most people to acknowledge when someone is better looking than they are or smarter, without taking them down in some way. "Yeah, he's intelligent, but does he have a social life?" What's unbearable for most people (save for those who are unusually magnanimous) is the thought that someone might be better than they are in every respect. They can tolerate the thought of someone more athletic, but not someone who is more athletic and smarter.

So if you do something that sets you apart from other people, like dressing well, or being athletic, you have to be prepared for some hostility. The best way to defuse it is to tone things down a little, and to be relaxed and have a sense of humor about yourself. So if you work out, don't wear a muscle shirt; or if you dress up in a business casual office, replace the suit with a sportscoat and save the tie for after work. It's a good idea to be self-deprecating and friendly to relax other people.

CrimsonSox said:

You remember back in college, when people would call athletes "meat heads"? Or how they would refer to someone who was brilliant as a "nerd"? I always thought it was silly, but it illustrates something about human nature. It's very hard for most people to acknowledge when someone is better looking than they are or smarter, without taking them down in some way. "Yeah, he's intelligent, but does he have a social life?" What's unbearable for most people (save for those who are unusually magnanimous) is the thought that someone might be better than they are in every respect. They can tolerate the thought of someone more athletic, but not someone who is more athletic and smarter.

So if you do something that sets you apart from other people, like dressing well, or being athletic, you have to be prepared for some hostility. The best way to defuse it is to tone things down a little, and to be relaxed and have a sense of humor about yourself. So if you work out, don't wear a muscle shirt; or if you dress up in a business casual office, replace the suit with a sportscoat and save the tie for after work. It's a good idea to be self-deprecating and friendly to relax other people.

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Well said Crimson.

Being young and inexperienced I thought dressing in a way that you envision yourself was a part of "being yourself." I think that the run of the mill, mentally and socially conditioned employee is not one who frequently makes it to the top. More often than not its the square pegs in round holes that rise to greater levels of success above the others. I try to surround myself with people equally as ambitious as myself, but I don't take into account the perceptions of the majority/mediocrity that comes with it. I certainly think that dressing too well is a better extreme than wearing ripped shorts and a t-shirt with tattoos all over the place. Perhaps at the workplace its best to be a wolf in sheep's clothing until you are in the right place at the right time.

Point being, I was of the thinking that being a step above everyone else would be a positive thing in the perception which leads to success- but I suppose in some situations, particularly in ones where you are outnumbered, stealth is the best strategy. Good analogy with the athletic and nerd.

slickback said:

I think that the run of the mill, mentally and socially conditioned employee is not one who frequently makes it to the top. More often than not its the square pegs in round holes that rise to greater levels of success above the others. I try to surround myself with people equally as ambitious as myself, but I don't take into account the perceptions of the majority/mediocrity that comes with it.

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You are equating the symptoms of success with being successful. By dressing up and showing people pictures of yourself in business class you are trying to convince others, and maybe yourself, that you're a bigger deal than you are.
Love,
Freud