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What is it with Teddy Bears?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I was just reading an extensive article on Peter Lanza, the father of the infamous Adam Lanza of Sandy Hook infamy. Early in the article it described all the "stuff" that he received after the shooting, mostly by way of condolence--candy, flowers, letter and Teddy bears. I was left wonder why on earth anyone would send an accomplished man in his middle years a Teddy bear as an object of condolence? I am somewhat similarly bemused when I see memorials put up for accident victims that include Teddy bears. I mean, the damn things are going to perish from the elements in short order.

Now I have nothing in particular against Teddy bears. They are very traditional comfort toys for young children. Some of the best ones can be quite charming, even to a grumpy old man like me. However, I personally lost any interest in owning such toys around the time of my 10th birthday, as best I recall. I know they are often exchanged as gifts among adults, especially for Valentine's Day and such, but I could never fathom bestowing such a childish thing on my inamorata of the moment back when I was in Singleland.

I know that some adults do like stuffed toys. I used the same hairdresser for many years. She had had a black dog that she had to put down for illness back around 1980. About 25 years later, she and her husband posed for a Christmas card with a toy stuffed dog--"a dog that can never die," as she put it. I thought she might have done much better giving a couple of real dogs good lives during that period rather than transferring her affections to an inanimate piece of cheap fabric and cotton stuffing.

Another story, that I always got sadistic pleasure from involved my aunt. She was living with my great-grandmother because she couldn't get along with her sister, my future mother. She had a stuffed Scottie dog that she had incongruously named "Poi" because she was fond of things Hawaiian at the time. Anyway, the family went off to Europe, and my aunt left Poi with my great-grandmother. Soon after her departure, my great-grandmother ordered her "colored" (as she would have been called then) maid to burn "that dirty old thing," as she described Poi. "Ah don't know," the maid said, "Miz Joan powerful fond of that dog." Nonetheless, poor Poi went into the incinerator. Two years later, the family returned from Europe. The first thing Joan did was to betake herself to her grandmother's apartment (which was just around the corner from our family home). "Where's Poi?" she queried. "Oh, I had that old thing burned," replied my great grandmother. Joan, who would have been in her early 20s, exclaimed, "He was my best friend," and began weeping softly.

Anyway, does anyone have any theories about this strange appeal of Teddy bears and similar stuffed toys to anyone much beyond the age of puberty?
post #2 of 12
maybe the people who sent the teddy bears thought they were sending them to a parent of one of the kids who passed away?
post #3 of 12
People who own Teddy bears usually have sex with them. Men cut holes in them and coat the hole in lube, women use the nose and rub it on their clit.
post #4 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

People who own Teddy bears usually have sex with them. Men cut holes in them and coat the hole in lube, women use the nose and rub it on their clit.

The real question is How does HB know this?
post #5 of 12
Attorney-client privilege.
post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

Attorney-client privilege.

While despite the assurances of the NSA that they did not intercept communications between you and your attorney, we all know this not to be true. Therefore, any such purported privilege has been waived.
post #7 of 12
'Roun here, hon, we call 'em stuffed bares "titty bares" in I gotta fink at's why em people like em bares.
post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

People who own Teddy bears usually have sex with them. Men cut holes in them and coat the hole in lube, women use the nose and rub it on their clit.

There might be something to this. It brought another curious matter back to memory. Early in our marriage my wife owned two properties--the house we presently live in and another house very close to the beach. She used the upper floor of the latter for her business and rented out the lower floor as a dwelling to tenants.

Early in 1995 she rented the lower unit to a middle-aged attorney. Shortly thereafter she remarked, "I think my new tenant may be gay. I see a number of younger men hanging around the place." "Oh well," I replied, " as long as he pays his rent. They're usually exceptionally good housekeepers."

Briefly put, he never paid his rent, and he and his pals trashed the place, turning it into a gay orgy palace. And so, the lovely home--where she had lived and loved and laughed during her wonderful first marriage with John* and where their little son James had taken his first steps into this great world--was transformed into the site of depraved dog piles of deviant vice. Worse still, gay men went rampaging through the neighborhood, pounding on doors at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning looking for gay action.

Finally, my wife was able to get the gay rabble evicted. As a parting shot, they stole the washing machine and dryer!

Inside the house, they left a lot of trash--some of which was rather curious: There were a couple of doilars' worth of pennies strewn about the floors; there were a number of very gross porn magazines, heterosexual porn, oddly enough. Finally, and strangest of all, there were two very large stuffed toys--a duck and a Frankenstein's monster. The "Frankenstein" was about three feet long and the duck was similar in size. I wondered what the hell these gay men were doing with these toys. One of the cops investigating the theft remarked, "Gays are into a lot of strange stuff." My wife's niece, then in her early teens, quipped, "They probably humped them."

After reading HB's post, I have to wonder whether that young lass was savvy beyond her tender years.

*John had cashed in his chips in 1988.

As a postscript, the attorney and his gay entourage moved into another place and started up the same game. However, the cops were wise to him because of what he had done to my wife and soon ran him out of town. I believe he ended up in Riverside, where he probably succumbed to "the big A." My wife had a judgement against him for several thousand dollars in unpaid rent. Of course, she never collected a penny.
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post


Briefly put, he never paid his rent, and he and his pals trashed the place, turning it into a gay orgy palace....

conne!
post #10 of 12
I don't think it's fair to countenance the homosexual community based on the actions of one. I know that's not what you're doing but I think the SF community should keep that in mind. Not all homosexuals are scandalous rent avoiders.
post #11 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post

conne!

I clean my dwelling weekly, damnit!
post #12 of 12

Those stuffed animals one wins from boardwalk games are crap.  I think they are stuffed with old newspaper.

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