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Good Natured Advice Thread (improving a business wardrobe) - Page 2212

post #33166 of 37396

He asked for side buttoning yoga pants in bone flannel and they gave him ass pleats on oatmeal flannel instead.

 

After requesting that the pants be recut and delivering them to a New York hotel suite in an unmarked brown paper bag, his hand-wringing and pleas were met with obfuscation for a year, over which time he was tarred and feathered on social media and insinuations were made that he was a height-challenged Mongoloid.

 

Still, trusting the end product, he waited. Finally, the pants arrived and, like a child on Christmas Day, he eagerly tore open the paper wrapping with his house keys, but the fabric was all wrong. He immediately subjected it to a burn test and realized it contained polyester. What was billed as ancient thirst loomed by the Brothers Kitsune in the West of England turned out to be a Bollywood Special from West India.

 

But what could he do? He was pant-less. Resolved to turn the situation for the better with a bit of retail therapy, he strode into the Parisian house of Mèrcury, purveyors of leather goods and cravats with witty motifs of smiling Kit-Kat bars, dancing swastikas, and aliens mating. A single green billfold in cowhide would, he reasoned, "fit the bill" for this occasion. What he couldn't get in thirst that was ancient he would compensate for with new cash that was Asian.

 

"Sorry," the clerk jolted him out of his reverie. "I can't discuss that at this time," she said, cementing what would henceforth live on in the lexicon in the acronym we know as ICDTATT. He was nonplussed. This maison was a farce, a tower of rarity; it seemed to besmirch his purchasing power parity.

 

When a man cannot have side buttons, when a man cannot have bone flannel, when a man cannot even have a four thousand dollar wallet with his name inked in the corner by loving Parisian hands (by way of Belarus), he can do but one thing: turn to drink.

 

Long story short, he went to his favorite watering hole and somewhere in the proceedings, too inebriated to houdini the family jewels through the improperly placed side buttons (why, he cursed, had they used blazer buttons, of all things?), he sprinkled his "bespoke" hip-huggers, which by this time could honestly pass for Isaia MTM.

 

The pants were lost. So was his ego. But no one stands between a man and cold, hard cash. The battle was Pyrrhic, but it was his battle.

Before closing time, he squeaks through the sliding doors of Daffy's New York, buys the first pair of Incotex he can find. Goes home, snips off the labels, strings them onto the soiled bespoke pantaloons with a bit of fishing wire. Presto, change-o: merchandise that's priced to move! He lists it on ebay:

 

:bounce2:NWT INCOTEX ANCIENT THIRST 28 EUR L$$K!!:bounce2:

Buy It Now: $79.

 

An offer comes in: $25 shipped to Ulaanbataar.

Implacable, he shoots back with a counter-bid: $35.

The counter-offer: $30 to U.bataar, plus I'll offer you a J.Crew gift code.

Bingo. Accept offer, bitches.

 

Time to post on SF about how some sucker just bought my piss-stained pants and gave me a coupon for it.

 

To be continued

 

-------------------

Postscript: book offers from publishers accepted at largesumsconsidered@brownisforfarmer.com

post #33167 of 37396
You are one odd duck smile.gif
post #33168 of 37396
post #33169 of 37396
I want to pick up a couple of sleeveless cardigans to layer under suits next winter, I'm looking at burgundy and forest green - do you think these would be versatile?
post #33170 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian mcfox View Post

I want to pick up a couple of sleeveless cardigans to layer under suits next winter, I'm looking at burgundy and forest green - do you think these would be versatile?

Seb, sure. Forest Green in particular. A favourite brand of mine John Smedley, being particularly good.
post #33171 of 37396
Looking at the discounted S&C at Exquisite Trimmings, would they come recommended @Cleav? Thanks!
post #33172 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian mcfox View Post

Looking at the discounted S&C at Exquisite Trimmings, would they come recommended @Cleav? Thanks!

TBH I've never picked one up. That said they look great and anything Shaya stocks is always good.

The John Smedleys that I have are a very fine merino wool, i'm wearing a cardigan now actually, and they certainly aren't bulky whilst giving an extra layer. Horses for courses I suppose....
post #33173 of 37396
Thanks mate smile.gif
post #33174 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian mcfox View Post

Looking at the discounted S

I tried them on at Shaya's shop and they are really nice.  If you have an athletic body they are a bit bulky and odd looking in the waist...that's the only reason I didn't get one.

I really liked Cleav's Smedleys.
post #33175 of 37396

When going tieless and lunching in town
A gilet is superb for dressing down
Wear one with contrast, in green or tan
And navy's a must for the discerning man
Smedley is classic, but the fit is not right
The placket's too narrow, the rib is too tight
The polos are fine, but the gilets do enrage
For a first-rate waistcoat, choose Drumohr -- in 30 gauge

post #33176 of 37396
Quote:

 

Read this yesterday.  I think the takeaway is that if you’re old and famous you apparently can dress any way you like.

 

Which on reflection is news to, well, absolutely no one.

 

Cheers,

 

Ac :) 

post #33177 of 37396

A snapshot of the decline of western civilization.
post #33178 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarbutch View Post

A snapshot of the decline of western civilization.
Sounds better than WAYWRN.
post #33179 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarbutch View Post

A snapshot of the decline of western civilization.

Rather more a series of selfies outlining the decline of Western civilization, but yes . . ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by EliodA View Post

Sounds better than WAYWRN.

Are you suggesting that we re-title the thread to ASOTDOWC? satisfied.gif
post #33180 of 37396
Thread Starter 
I think I have the ability to do that. I also think the powers that be would be upset if I did so.
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