Hey Tweedy! Yeah, I tried the collar stays the second time around, but the collar part compressed to the point where it looked funky. Unfortunately, proper cloth doesn't have the level of customization to allow for just soft points. I think more experimentation is necessary
You might switch to a different maker then. I use mytailor and at this point I've made so many adjustments with them in person I've become a fan (is it bespoke at that point?). They can do all sorts of fine tuned modifications (eg I had them lift the front of my collar but not back, reduce the tie gap to 1/8 inch and so on). Great if you talk it over with someone in person. They have a traveling tailor too. luxire might be able to do similar modifications but you have to do more work yourself.
Why don't you post a pic of the problem?