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Good Natured Advice Thread (improving a business wardrobe) - Page 1285

post #19261 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Noodles View Post

besides a few church people, yes.

There's your problem. My GF was grumpy/sad when she didn't know anyone in London. I was at work all day, and she was just studying by herself all day. Little issues suddenly become very big issues.

Just think of this: when you come home from work, you'll probably be the first person she sees that day.

Something as innocent as buying a tie or being on SF for 15mins can suddenly become a big issue, even if you spend just as much money or more for her. It's not really about the money, it's about the attention. Even doubly so because she moved to a different country, being entirely dependent on you, because she doesn't know anyone else. I can imagine that must be quite scary for her.

Having friends solves this issue.

EDIT: What SB said.
post #19262 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarbutch View Post


I think this is a key point. This means you are the focus of her attention pretty much at all times. I expect that as she integrates further she'll ease up.

I generally subscribe to the idea that a couple's money should be jointly held, etc., but only to a point. If you're the sole income generator and there are no children that she's taking care of, I think you're entitled to spend your discretionary income as you see fit. This assumes that you're taking care of saving, etc., and I think you've already said that those things are squared away.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeyface View Post


There's your problem. My GF was grumpy/sad when she didn't know anyone in London. I was at work all day, and she was just studying by herself all day. Little issues suddenly become very big issues.

Just think of this: when you come home from work, you'll probably be the first person she sees that day.

Something as innocent as buying a tie or being on SF for 15mins can suddenly become a big issue, even if you spend just as much money or more for her. It's not really about the money, it's about the attention. Even doubly so because she moved to a different country, being entirely dependent on you, because she doesn't know anyone else. I can imagine that must be quite scary for her.

Having friends solves this issue.

EDIT: What SB said.

 

I third this. My first wife came to the US with me and never acclimated (whereas I clearly have, since this is supposed to be acclimatized!). She refused to try and pined endlessly for home, which is precisely where she ended up. Before the end, though, it was a steady decline into misery for both of us and one where I sought refuge at work (pursuing tenure can do that anyway) and where she sought refuge at the bottom of a bottle (both wine and pill). 

 

A cautionary tale.

post #19263 of 37396
:lurk:

Edited by The Noodles - 3/3/15 at 7:56am
post #19264 of 37396
Noodles, it does not behoove you to even consider the actions of Mrs. Clags, or Mrs. Anyone else, in regards to the matter.

All you need to do is make the situation work for you and Mrs. Noodle. Your distinct personalities and interests are all that should matter when working it out, which I am sure you will do successfully.
post #19265 of 37396
I agree, and I'd tread lightly with the "give all the attention she wants" statement as that can lead to issues like co-dependency and other things.

A balance needs to be struck - simple as that. Can't all be flowing one way. One person ends up resenting the other.
post #19266 of 37396

+1 to everyone saying she needs to get out of the house and have her own friends/life.

 

You guys aren't two halves to a whole, but two wholes that have come together to make something greater. 

 

^corny

post #19267 of 37396

Since this is somewhat of a wardrobe planning thread, these will probably be my purchases over the next 2-3 years, in no particular order.

 

Considering I'm living in London, where flannel is a 3-season fabric, is there anything I'm missing or you'd do differently? All suits will be SB, notch lapels, 3 roll 2, barchetta chest pocket. I'm aiming for versatility, where ideally the jacket and trousers could be worn separately. The Forest green one could end up being a brown donegal one, but I think green might look better on me.

 

1) Forest Green Donegal tweed suit, patch pockets

 

 

2) Grey Donegal tweed suit, patch pockets (already started on this one).

 

 

3) Minnis 306 Navy Flannel suit, patch pockets

 

4) Minnis 302 Grey Flannel suit, flap pockets

5) Minnis 511 Grey Fresco suit, flap pockets

 

6)Minnis 520 Airforce Blue Fresco suit, patch pockets

post #19268 of 37396
Good choices.
post #19269 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murlsquirl View Post

Good choices.

Indeed. I wish I could plan purchases out to 2-3 years. Once I get something in my mind to buy it needs to happen yesterday.
post #19270 of 37396
I hope your children have better impulse control than you do, Steeeeeeeeechy.
post #19271 of 37396
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Noodles View Post

^THIS!
I am trying my best to get her out and get more friends! I even suggested to her that she should work at Starbucks or something just to occupy herself. She wants to get the F out of the house. She was a very active person but now she's just home studying and watching TV. She said she's sick of staying home. 

I have to get her the F out of the house and let her have her own life. 

I need to give her all the attention right she wants right now. 

Your wife needs a baby. Do it!!! biggrin.gif
post #19272 of 37396
That is the worst advice in the history of SF, Kulata.
post #19273 of 37396
Haha - yeah, that's for sure the missing link when it comes to Noodles having more spending freedom!
post #19274 of 37396
I agree, Murl, but it would keep her occupied... smile.gif
post #19275 of 37396
Awww, a little Doodals...
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