Ha, does it happen to be in rose gold?
More graily, or less graily, than the AP?
Foo, I have to say that neither of them are right: they're both almost OK, but for that kind of money, get perfect. The Cartier isn't quite too big, but it's too flat. It's not sitting right on your wrist as I feared, as least I don't think so from this a angle. If you want a big Cartier, try one of the many other options: I found the Anglaise fit very differently, but just as monster.
As for the Panny, I agree the Rad looks outsized because of the dial. Try a steel one, perhaps just a mm or two smaller, it will have more distinction between case and dial and look more balanced. But that Luminor is just a bit too big: I get that big watches are supposed to look big, and that's just a matter of taste. But when the lugs are wider than your wrist, it starts to look like you're wearing your Dad's clothes that are too big. Get something that's as big as your wrist and looks chunky as hell, because that's what you're after. But just a touch smaller than this, I would suggest.
Anyway, I respect your sticking to your guns on personal taste, and agree that you should. But a slight adjustment to both, I think, will make you happier.