Originally Posted by tesseract
My balls are disgusting
Bollocks. That's feminism talking right there. Poor fella doesn't even realise his subconscious is under attack and he's a victim of mind control.How to Make Your Vajayjay Smell as Amazing as His Balls
It is well known the ball sack is a fragrant oasis that lifts a woman's spirits and transports her away from the stresses of daily life - bollocks, take me away! It's no surprise you can't wait to have his yummy scrotum in your mouth. As a bonus, with your cheeks bulging with his nuts you look like an adorable hamster. Upload that precious photo to facebook, girlfriend.
Vaginas smell like the rubbish container behind the fish monger's shop on a sweltering summer's day. It's no surprise he won't go down on you. Heck, it's only through his strong will and capacity for empathy that he can even stand to be in the same room as you.
Here are some tips for how to make your lady bits as yummy as his balls:
Squat over a lit incense cone. Bathe your reeking yoni in wafts of fragrant smoke scented with vanilla, rose, lavender, or any girl's favourite... chocolate chip cookie dough.
For you gals not from a squatting culture or with bad knees, stick a scented candle up there. Bahama Breeze is lovely. It you want to recreate the pleasant smell from his crotch try Yankee Candle's Tyrolean Alps or its new offering for 2016... The Premier League. Your cooch will remind him of an Alpine mountain pine forest right after a gentle spring rain or Arsenal's locker room at half.
If your cooter is really moist and steamy experiment with a mystery from the Orient... exotic ben wa balls made of naturally odor destroying cedar. They absorb excess moisture whilst strengthening the pelvic floor muscles and improving the elasticity of your vagina - we all know a tight pussy is the surest way to keep a man. Don’t panic if you have trouble getting them back out or if they get stuck. Relax. They're not like your fella's wrist watch; they can’t get lost in there.
Nothing beats the real deal: his massive, manly balls. Your natural vaginal odor is rank and vile, but the heavenly musk glistening on his nuts is delectable. Rub that delicious nut sack smell all over yourself and treat him to a little taste of the gift he allows you to experience all the time. He'll be so pumped he's sure to go down on you then.
Yes, we've all been cursed with lady bits that on a good day smell like a wet camel and on bad days remind everyone within a 6-foot radius of a skunk's rotting corpse. Though we can never achieve a male's marvelous musk, using one or more of my tips you can mask that unpleasantness for a while until he justifiably dumps you for someone less malodorous. It's all a girl can ever hope for.Edited by curzon - 1/2/16 at 5:22am