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Need help matching shoes, belt and pocket square - Page 2

post #16 of 40

I love the complete nerdiness of what's being appropriate. It's clear that reading the situation is rather though, so let's work this out. 

 

He will be the one with a jacket. 

 

1. His family won't use jackets.

2. Her family won't use jackets.

3. Neither do their friends.

 

Obviously they are perfectly happy and comfortable without dressing up. And they are 100% right, it's their wedding. What's disrespectful in showing up in a nice jeans and tie if that's what his sister obviously prefers?

 

In comes the brother, who they haven't seen in a long time. Let's go stand out and go smart. So what's the message here? Look how good I dress and your friends suck? Look how sophisticated I became (which is a lie considering he needs advice here).

 

I am 100% sure that's not what he wants to convey, but that is what people can think... why they take that utterly unneccesary risk? What's the upside of dressing up?

 

Show up in nice natural clothes and be there for her. Don't try to be someone you aren't. especially when you haven't seen them in 18 months (!)

 

Dress for the occasion.

post #17 of 40
While you make some OK points here, you also told the kid to dress like a cellphone salesman in your first post so there's that.
post #18 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackinthebox View Post

If you want to dress sharp: good Chino/jeans, shirt and tie. Black shoes.

Just. No.
post #19 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackinthebox View Post

I love the complete nerdiness of what's being appropriate. It's clear that reading the situation is rather though, so let's work this out. 

He will be the one with a jacket. 

1. His family won't use jackets.
2. Her family won't use jackets.
3. Neither do their friends.

Obviously they are perfectly happy and comfortable without dressing up. And they are 100% right, it's their wedding. What's disrespectful in showing up in a nice jeans and tie if that's what his sister obviously prefers?

In comes the brother, who they haven't seen in a long time. Let's go stand out and go smart. 
So what's the message here? Look how good I dress and your friends suck? Look how sophisticated I became (which is a lie considering he needs advice here).


I am 100% sure that's not what he wants to convey, but that is what people can think... why they take that utterly unneccesary risk? What's the upside of dressing up?


Show up in nice natural clothes and be there for her. Don't try to be someone you aren't. especially when you haven't seen them in 18 months (!)


Dress for the occasion.

He didn't say that nobody would be wearing a jacket; he said that nobody would be wearing a full suit and tie. He expects trousers and dress shirts and that some will be wearing ties as well. An odd jacket without a tie is just not going to stand out in that environment and is not exactly on a different plane of formality from trousers, shirt and tie, which he has already said some people will be wearing. He's not talking about wearing a suit or a tuxedo here. Get a grip.

Your use of language like "Look how good I dress and your friends suck?" is an obvious straw man. Learn how to make an actual argument and address the points being made rather than your delusional caricature of the conversation. I also don't see where he says that his sister prefers him to wear jeans and a tie or how this would be "obvious" to anyone; that is pure made up conjecture on your part. The only time it would be remotely appropriate to wear jeans to a wedding is if that is what the bride and groom have asked people to do.

There's nothing wrong with trying to look nice for a family member's wedding. The main thing you don't want to do is outshine the bride and groom and I already covered that point in my prior post.
post #20 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by becnal View Post


Just. No.

I've seen some bad advice, but black shoes with jeans and a tie with no jacket? Aiyo

post #21 of 40
Thread Starter 

Thank you all for your inpute. Let me show you a picture of where I came up with this combination. The guy in the middle with the white pants is wearing exactly what I described, just with a tie. Can someone tell me why this is such a no no?!

Anyway, with this guy’s outfit – black or brown shoes and belt?

 

 

 

post #22 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logen View Post

Thank you all for your inpute. Let me show you a picture of where I came up with this combination. The guy in the middle with the white pants is wearing exactly what I described, just with a tie. Can someone tell me why this is such a no no?!

Anyway, with this guy’s outfit – black or brown shoes and belt?

 


 

 

 

A group of men in their twenties dressed as if they're going to a high school prom. 

post #23 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaywhyy View Post

A group of men in their twenties dressed as if they're going to a high school prom. 

This, and most grey dress shirts look cheap and there are better choices for an odd jacket than charcoal (navy would look 10x better on the guy). A distant photo really doesn't capture how not good grey dress shirts can look. Also, OP, you are taking style cues from a good looking guy who could probably get away with a lot of things and still look good. The question isn't "what can I get away with and still look good?" It's "what will make me look my best."

Look, I've seen worse outfits than what you're describing, but chances are you're not going to look amazing in what you're proposing. I've explained how white and charcoal are not a great pairing and the issues with grey dress shirts (the tie in that photo actually makes the outfit look worse IMO but that's another issue). If you wear what you're proposing, you won't be the worst dressed guy at this wedding, but you'll pass up the chance to look great.

Cream is a better trouser color than white (though this detail is the least of your worries). Navy is a better jacket color than charcoal. Pretty much anything within reason is a better dress shirt color than grey. So nothing in your outfit is optimal. I think your mistake is to pick something you think looks cool on someone else and try to emulate it. When you do this, you don't get to see how the person in question would look with a few changes to their outfit.

Edit: Black shoes for an evening event. Brown shoes for a daytime event.
post #24 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by archibaldleach View Post
 
Your use of language like "Look how good I dress and your friends suck?" is an obvious straw man. Learn how to make an actual argument and address the points being made rather than your delusional caricature of the conversation. I also don't see where he says that his sister prefers him to wear jeans and a tie or how this would be "obvious" to anyone; that is pure made up conjecture on your part. The only time it would be remotely appropriate to wear jeans to a wedding is if that is what the bride and groom have asked people to do.
 

I'm shaking my head here... a strawman is attributing a position on someone which is not said. Obviously I did nothing of the sort.

Again, read this a few times... do I say he is arrogant? No clearly I do not. Do I say people can misunderstand him? Yes. Is this possible? Obviously yes. 

 

So why take this risk?

 

Archibald, I do not attribute a stance to anyone, your strawman argument is ridonculous. But as this is the "let's dress up whatever the social strata" forum I expected no less.

 

And about "he's not overdoing it" He's going to match accesoires, a pocketsqure etc. Yes, that seems beyond the demographic at the wedding. And it's also beyond his normal dresscode.


Edited by Jackinthebox - 7/27/13 at 12:50am
post #25 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by TM79 View Post

While you make some OK points here, you also told the kid to dress like a cellphone salesman in your first post so there's that.

Hyperbole much? Yes, this is not following the ancient unbreakable rules of dresscode at "formal" occasions which is so ingrained here. But this is not a bad look:

 

 

Yes, I expect scorn and disdain. Which is ironic as that seems to bee along the lines what the best friends of the couple will be wearing.

post #26 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackinthebox View Post

Hyperbole much? Yes, this is not following the ancient unbreakable rules of dresscode at "formal" occasions which is so ingrained here. But this is not a bad look:

 

 

Yes, I expect scorn and disdain. Which is ironic as that seems to bee along the lines what the best friends of the couple will be wearing.

I don't understand the look of a tie w/o a jacket. Take the tie off before the jacket when dressing down. 

 

A tie w/ jeans? Now thats just garbage

post #27 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logen View Post

Anyway, with this guy’s outfit – black or brown shoes and belt?

Black.
post #28 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by becnal View Post


Black.

If he goes dressed: Black.

post #29 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaywhyy View Post

I don't understand the look of a tie w/o a jacket. Take the tie off before the jacket when dressing down. 

 

A tie w/ jeans? Now thats just garbage

Sure, you're opinion. But the OP indicates that's what the crowd at the wedding will be sporting.

 

And well, if you think his "prom" outfit is better suited than an understated look, than I just have to disagree. 

 

This is not "any wedding". It's his sisters wedding, with her family and her friends. Go with what they are comfortable with.

post #30 of 40
Black shoes, jeans and a tie is just ugly. In any situation. Especially his sister's wedding.
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