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post #31 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post

I'm not as hard on the OP as most of you. Situations like these are complex, and his reactions sound pretty normal to me. However, I do think it's bad form to be getting it on with a woman in a situation where her little child can and does walk in as things are getting "steamy."

My advice would be to help pay for a babysitter. Take the woman out to a nice dinner or whatever. Get her back to your place and make furious passionate love for awhile and then get her home to her daughter at a reasonable hour. Also, try to befriend the child. Then, if you find you still want the pair of them (because that's what you'll be getting), marry your inamorata, lock your bedroom door and tell the kid to go back to bed when she tries to get in.

 

True as you shouldn't, I think many here forgot the part the guy is to be a fatherly figure to a spoiled brat that is NOT his daughter. Think of all the consequences for him when the kid grows and starts to rebel. Also to the kid he will be an obstacle for mommy and daddy to be together. It's hard enough to have good relationship with your own kids. Now you basically have to put up with someone elses and support it financially too(unavoidable to some extent if you're to live together). On her priority list you will rank from 2nd to 10th depending on the woman. It's a tough scenario for a man, hard to win in the long run. On a side note, I've just started dating a single mom. I really enjoy her company and I have a crush on her but realistically I give us a small chance. Maybe she's one of the very few women worth that kind of sacrifice that's what I am going to find out. So far it's not serious, so it's fun.
Edited by wojt - 7/25/13 at 5:14am
post #32 of 36
If its just a short, casual fling that's one thing, but if OP is going to string this woman along and doesn't want to be with her and the kid, then he's doing something wrong imo. Especially if the real dad isn't around.
post #33 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchausen View Post

If its just a short, casual fling that's one thing, but if OP is going to string this woman along and doesn't want to be with her and the kid, then he's doing something wrong imo. Especially if the real dad isn't around.

 

Life's a bitch that's what is wrong. Perhaps he should lower the age bracket and date 23-26 without children while he still can wink.gif

post #34 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by wojt View Post

True as you shouldn't, I think many here forgot the part the guy is to be a fatherly figure to a spoiled brat that is NOT his daughter. Think of all the consequences for him when the kid grows and starts to rebel. Also to the kid he will be an obstacle for mommy and daddy to be together. It's hard enough to have good relationship with your own kids. Now you basically have to put up with someone elses and support it financially too(unavoidable to some extent if you're to live together). On her priority list you will rank from 2nd to 10th depending on the woman. It's a tough scenario for a man, hard to win in the long run. On a side note, I've just started dating a single mom. I really enjoy her company and I have a crush on her but realistically I give us a small chance. Maybe she's one of the very few women worth that kind of sacrifice that's what I am going to find out. So far it's not serious, so it's fun.

Well, I became a father figure (stepfather) to a spoiled brat that was not my son. His father had died a few years earlier. Looking back over two decades, it wasn't at all bad. Actually, I had a lot of fun--quite a lot of it while tormenting him. Examples: He'd be crying about something, and I'd say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." When he was in a foul mood, "Oh, just open up your heart and let the sunshine in." When crying over an "owie": "You will find, my boy, that a stoic indifference to pain is one of the attributes of manhood." These would usually rouse him to new paroxysms of fury, which made it all the more fun for me.

In the course of two decades, he has grown into a pretty good young man, by no means perfect, but, then, who among us is? Multi-competent, college graduate, athletic, earning a living, no major vices, no significant scrapes with the law. He is certainly much more "grounded" and better balanced than some of his oldest friends--the scions of unified families and high-achieving birth parents--who have done time in booze farms, jail and psycho wards. Not long ago, he said to me, "Thanks for making me normal."
post #35 of 36
^ tough love! icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #36 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post


Well, I became a father figure (stepfather) to a spoiled brat that was not my son. His father had died a few years earlier. Looking back over two decades, it wasn't at all bad. Actually, I had a lot of fun--quite a lot of it while tormenting him. Examples: He'd be crying about something, and I'd say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." When he was in a foul mood, "Oh, just open up your heart and let the sunshine in." When crying over an "owie": "You will find, my boy, that a stoic indifference to pain is one of the attributes of manhood." These would usually rouse him to new paroxysms of fury, which made it all the more fun for me.

In the course of two decades, he has grown into a pretty good young man, by no means perfect, but, then, who among us is? Multi-competent, college graduate, athletic, earning a living, no major vices, no significant scrapes with the law. He is certainly much more "grounded" and better balanced than some of his oldest friends--the scions of unified families and high-achieving birth parents--who have done time in booze farms, jail and psycho wards. Not long ago, he said to me, "Thanks for making me normal."

 

Sounds awesome, I'm glad it worked out for you. You are one sarcastic bastard btw! "Oh, just open up your heart and let the sunshine in." rotflmao.gif

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