seamster has it bang on
their idea of matching and your idea of matching is different.
match her in that you're looking your best; not matching as in physically matching. When she asks you why you didn't match her colours, just tell her you didn't think a woman of her knowledge and wisdom was serious in making the mistake of suggesting a man's accessory be matching that of her daughter's dress, for it'll just take attention away from her.
You just defused two bombs and not have to do wear anything stupid.
Want women to agree with you? Tactfully disagree from the word go while covertly planting suggestion on how you'd like it to go.