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- Aug 17, 2007
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So I'm getting married in a month, and a bunch of my bros and I have been planning our Vegas trip for my bach party for, like, months. Problem is, one of my douchebag friends (he's in my wedding party no less) is trying to puss out. He's not even really my buddy - he's my stepdad's son, we never grew up together, but my mom insists I include him in everything since he's moved to NYC from the **** town where we're from. I'm supposed to "take him under my wing."
Well, he's claiming poverty. It's not my fault he's a ******* paralegal... maybe if he'd spent more time with the books and less time with the bong he wouldn't have washed out of law school. Besides, I see the clothes he wears; he's always on some gay-ass internet site talking about expensive watches and ****. I've been buying his lapdances and RBVs for years and he never pays me back; I'm even taking a huge haircut to pay most of his expenses for this trip. If his bag-of-dicks father is any indication, he's probably got something stashed away for his 420 fund, but never seems to reach for the check at Rick's.
I have a killer weekend planned; VIP bottle service at XS, cabanas poolside at Encore, Smith & Wollensky's for filets, slammin Jaeger bombs, gonna get our balls rubbed at the spa. He's probably gonna get his *********** by some plastic bitches just for hanging around with us in spite of his scruffy ass. (not even sure he's into that, i suspect he has a thing for dudes) Me and my bros are all putting in like $5 large a head but I only asked him to pay $1000, I'm picking up the rest of his tab (no big for me, my bonus last year was seven figs), but the ****** has the stones to come back at me asking if he can just pay $500.
Now what would you do with a douchebag like that?
Well, he's claiming poverty. It's not my fault he's a ******* paralegal... maybe if he'd spent more time with the books and less time with the bong he wouldn't have washed out of law school. Besides, I see the clothes he wears; he's always on some gay-ass internet site talking about expensive watches and ****. I've been buying his lapdances and RBVs for years and he never pays me back; I'm even taking a huge haircut to pay most of his expenses for this trip. If his bag-of-dicks father is any indication, he's probably got something stashed away for his 420 fund, but never seems to reach for the check at Rick's.
I have a killer weekend planned; VIP bottle service at XS, cabanas poolside at Encore, Smith & Wollensky's for filets, slammin Jaeger bombs, gonna get our balls rubbed at the spa. He's probably gonna get his *********** by some plastic bitches just for hanging around with us in spite of his scruffy ass. (not even sure he's into that, i suspect he has a thing for dudes) Me and my bros are all putting in like $5 large a head but I only asked him to pay $1000, I'm picking up the rest of his tab (no big for me, my bonus last year was seven figs), but the ****** has the stones to come back at me asking if he can just pay $500.
Now what would you do with a douchebag like that?
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