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Can you actually become a handsome guy or is it mostly genetics?

post #1 of 160
Thread Starter 

I know this is a style forum so you guys must care about your looks. This question has kind of run through my head before. There are guys out there who have women checking them out when they walk into the room and often have the good looks that gain them a lot of opportunities in life. Now growing up I was never a good looking guy (20 yr old here). Throughout most of high school I never once received much of a compliment on my looks until my senior year.

 

After high school I lost a lot of weight, grew some in height, and paid attention to my style. We (my friends and I) ran our picture through some dating site where it takes 48 hours for people of the opposite sex to judge your picture and then I noticed that I managed to get in. Some of my friends made it in while others did not.

 

Yet, after all that, I feel that I am still not one of those guys if you get what I am saying, not a David Gandy type of guy for example. My features are really generic (Black hair and brown eyes) and I have had girls compliment me on my looks but I have also had some guys tell me "ya you are not ugly but you aren't a pretty boy or brad pitt either".

 

I still somedays feel like I can do a lot more for my appearance but is being a handsome guy really all genetics after some point?

post #2 of 160
Very few of us are Brad Pitt, which is why Brad Pitt is such a bankable star, but, then, most of us don't realistically aspire to girlfriends or wives who are comparable to Angelina Jolie in the looks department. (or Jennifer Anniston, for that matter). I met Brad Pitt once. He stopped to admire my dog. He was with Jen at that time.

I think if a guy isn't extraordinarily ill-favored in physiognomy, any man who maintains a good level of fitness and pays attention to things like hair styling, grooming and, or course, apparel, is going to look pretty darn good in comparison with the generality of the male sex. I might also add good posture, something often overlooked these days.

For the man who has been really short-changed by nature in the area of facial features, e.g., huge, beaky nose or weak chin, there is always the option of cosmetic surgery these days.

How you care for yourself has a lot to do with how you end up looking. I didn't think I looked all that great when I was in college compared to a lot of the other men, but when I went to a reunion breakfast last month, I really felt I was second to none among the men there in the looks department, and I don't think I am a braggartly man.
post #3 of 160
Thread Starter 

Well, then again, Brad Pitt has Hollywood which helps him look good. Add to that his status and fame so that actually adds to his looks believe it or not. I am talking being the common guy who doesn't have the fame but wants his looks to be an advantage. The good looking guy in the social circle type of good looks and the one women mostly agree is good looking.
 

post #4 of 160
post #5 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClarkKent View Post

Well, then again, Brad Pitt has Hollywood which helps him look good. Add to that his status and fame so that actually adds to his looks believe it or not.

I met Pitt when he was off-duty, and he looked much the same as in the movies. I'm sure his status and fame make him more charismatic, but, had he been waiting tables, he still would have looked like Brad Pitt.

On another occasion, I visited Steven Seagal at his home for an article we were running in the magazine I then edited. This was before he porked out, as he appears to have done of late. The thought occurred to me at the time that even if he weren't famous, he still would be an extremely imposing, impressive and good looking man whatever his station in life and wherever he went.
Quote:
I am talking being the common guy who doesn't have the fame but wants his looks to be an advantage. The good looking guy in the social circle type of good looks and the one women mostly agree is good looking.

I thought I gave you some tips on this score in my previous post. Wouldn't a lot depend on your social circle? I mean, if you hang out with actors or male models. it's going to be a lot harder to be primus inter pares than if your friends were more ordinary looking. Besides, no need to be the best looking guy in your set. If your pal scores with the "belle of the ball," her nearly-as-good-looking girlfriend may make an excellent consolation prize.

Frankly, if making yourself desirable to women is your foremost goal in this business, as it seems to be, I would counsel you to try to make as much money as you can. A Maserati is going to be far more of a chick magnet than a six-pack and 18-inch biceps. As long as you are not physically repulsive and/or a total jerk, money will take you much, much further with the ladies than physical excellence. This I know from long experience.

Of course, if you were really wise, you would shun the whole pestilential tribe of women, and here I am really speaking from experience.
post #6 of 160

I will tell you that, without a doubt, a man BECOMES handsome. Sure, genetics play a major role but there have been men from my work that were previously unattractive, who underwent major changes in style and such, and suddenly transformed into someone I found attractive.

 

Getting into shape is a big one as well. Even a new haricut can reveal a guy as handsome, in my book. Moreover, a guy's personality can change for the better when he starts dessing better, as a certain confident glow appears and it is very attractive to women.

 

It really does work both ways, however, as I have seen many a handsome man turn unattractive simply by putting on 25 pounds and/or becoming unkempt, and the like.

 

Aplogize for the disjointed and rambly response, but I am at work and I have had to write this in 20 second spurts. =]

post #7 of 160
Thread Starter 

Well honestly I am saying there are Brad Pitts out there who look good but will not be considered the most handsome men around (handsome but not stunning) because they don't have the status and fame. I think men like David Gandy for example are better representations but screw that argument, a handsome man is a handsome man.

 

See, if it helps, I could pics of myself and maybe you guys can give me an analysis. I don't want to be good looking just for women alone, I know you can have other things to get women. I want to be good looking because I noticed that good looking men can respect from people right off the bat, especially among the younger crowd. Also, they have more opportunities in life.

 

I lift and I joined the forum for top notch style suggestions but I realize if my face is deformed, I might end up not benefitting that much without money. Right now I am not even not enough to drink (turn 21 in October) but I want to know how I know if I am just wasting my time and being the handsome man is going to be unrealistic for me short of plastic surgery.

 

Also with this pic, you guys can probably recommend better hairstyles for me too since I seem to always end up getting a bad haircut.

 

http://i39.tinypic.com/okzpsg.jpg

post #8 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClarkKent View Post

http://i39.tinypic.com/okzpsg.jpg

i'm afraid i have bad news for you.
post #9 of 160
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post


i'm afraid i have bad news for you.


uh oh

post #10 of 160
I agree with StephanieH.
What you wear can completely change if girls find u attractive or not.

Real-life example, when I first met my husband I had a "type" of guy I looked for and he clearly did not fit my profile.

Truth to-be-told I found him rather ugly with slightly below average looks.

And let's not get into his style... Ugh! He dressed like a retired doctor though he was only 30 at the time.

One day his brother took him shopping and he bought clothes that were fitting very nicely and had a much younger n tailored clean look to them (unlike his ridiculously large blazers that he wore that made him look like he shrunk or he borrowed his fathers clothes and was playing dress up).

I was in absolute shock when I saw his new style. He had such an irresistibly sexy line to his silhouette and such sexy and younger style to him that I had a complete 180 degree view of him.

His style and fit of his clothes alone made me give him a chance for more than friendship. And here we are 10 years later still together and looking impeccably good.

Woman can't resist a nicely dressed man.
If u wanna score some points with us u should take a little more time into what u wear and I can almost guarantee ur luck with the opposite sex will change for the better.
post #11 of 160
It's nice to know a change of clothes can help someone pick a life partner.
post #12 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

It's nice to know a change of clothes can help someone pick a life partner.

It's not that it helps pick a life partner, it helps in creating more opportunities to find a life partner.
If one lacks in looks, lets be honest, that's one point against them when looking for a partner.
Knowing this, one should make up for it in style. At least this way they would have one thing going for them as opposed to style n looks both against him/her.

Think about it. Its like with food.
We are first intrigued by how the food looks. If it looks good and it's plated nicely we are more likely to try it.
Same with a person. If he/she looks good then they grab our attention. If they look not so good but at least presented themselves nicely with nicely fitting clothes we are more likely to give them a chance because something about them appealed to us positively.
post #13 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Itstonight View Post

It's not that it helps pick a life partner, it helps in creating more opportunities to find a life partner.
If one lacks in looks, lets be honest, that's one point against them when looking for a partner.
Knowing this, one should make up for it in style. At least this way they would have one thing going for them as opposed to style n looks both against him/her.

Think about it. Its like with food.
We are first intrigued by how the food looks. If it looks good and it's plated nicely we are more likely to try it.
Same with a person. If he/she looks good then they grab our attention. If they look not so good but at least presented themselves nicely with nicely fitting clothes we are more likely to give them a chance because something about them appealed to us positively.

I can only work with what you post. Your first post clearly laid out you found this guy not worthy of your attentions let alone being a life partner. He got some new clothes and suddenly you wanted to bed him and he turned into a life partner. The only change from guy you found "rather ugly with slightly below average looks" to " an irresistibly sexy line to his silhouette and such sexy and younger style" was his clothes. In fact, you said exactly that: "His style and fit of his clothes alone made me give him a chance for more than friendship."

If this guy had not gone shopping with his brother you two would not be married.
post #14 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

I can only work with what you post. Your first post clearly laid out you found this guy not worthy of your attentions let alone being a life partner. He got some new clothes and suddenly you wanted to bed him and he turned into a life partner. The only change from guy you found "rather ugly with slightly below average looks" to " an irresistibly sexy line to his silhouette and such sexy and younger style" was his clothes. In fact, you said exactly that: "His style and fit of his clothes alone made me give him a chance for more than friendship."

If this guy had not gone shopping with his brother you two would not be married.

Well, isn't that analogous to the cliche in old movies where the drab, mousy schoolteacher or librarian takes off her glasses, lets down her hair and is suddenly transformed into an alluring babe?
post #15 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post

Well, isn't that analogous to the cliche in old movies where the drab, mousy schoolteacher or librarian takes off her glasses, lets down her hair and is suddenly transformed into an alluring babe?

Yeah, but that's allowed for guys. wink.gif
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