It really depends on what you want to do--there are hundreds of languages out there and they are each used for different things.
If you want to write web apps, learn PHP, Python or Ruby. If you want to write scientific code, learn Matlab or Python. If you want to do general purpose back end programming, learn Java, C#, or C++. If you want to do sysadmin, learn bash, Perl, and Python (in addition to all the sysadmin stuff you need to know). Pretty much no matter what, you will need to know SQL, but a working knowledge of SQL can be learned in a couple of days.
Programming in a sysadmin role is generally limited to scripting administration events (deployments, updates, moving files around, etc). It's scripting really, not programming.
Note that the lower level the language, the more computer science knowledge you will need--e.g. you need to know about memory management, pointers, and garbage collection to write effective C++ code, whereas in a scripting language like Python, Ruby, or Perl, this is handled for you.
You keep jumping back and forth between DBA, sysadmin, and development, all of which are different things. Why don't you start tinkering around to figure out what you want? You could, say, write a small webapp in PHP, Python, or Ruby. This would teach you some programming (from writing the code), some rudimentary DBA work (from writing queries in your code and deploying and managing the database), and a bit of sysadmin (provisioning, deploying, and maintaining the server hosting your code). It wont be enough to get you a job, but at least it will give you some idea of what goes into a small IT project and you'll know more about what you like.
What I want is to get a foot in the door and poke around from the inside. I'm going to learn languages and mess around on my own, but even if I want to do DBA or development I can't get into those fields right now. So I am thinking to just do the project management/desktop support route to get into the field, and then talk to + work with people in the fields I am looking at to see if I actually want to do that. I may find out I actually hate DBA once I am working in IT, and there's no way I can get a job in DBA now. So I need to figure out what is most realistic for me to get my foot in the door, build experience, and then figure out what I want to specialize in once I am situated in the industry. I know it's confusing, I'm confused myself. But I am trying to prioritize for the next 1-2 years... DBA, development, other highly technical specializations will require much longer than that for me to get into so for just making the switch they aren't really viable. Desktop/network admin & project management are.