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Do I have a problem? Maybe/maybe not!

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Right people - I think this will be an interesting thread (not sure if it's been done before)

On Sunday night the wife asks me "do I have a problem, do I need help?" in regards to my recent spending, constant researching and need to be on SF lol

It was a serious question (however much I try and joke about things) and there was a deeper delving into my obessive/addictive personality that I have developed not only with style but since I hit my 20's with other interest and hobbies as well as trying to be a perfectionist in whatever I do.

In my defense I was recently promoted to a senior level, relocated across the pond from London to NY and ever since 2007 when I got my first passable MTM/bespoke suit from HK I've learnt and wanted to improve my appearance, style and in my line of business first impressions count.

In the past 8 months I have pretty much replaced my whole wardrobe with 8 shirts, x3 bespoke suits, x2 MTM suits, x10 pairs of shoes and x10 ties. Another x6 shirts to come next month, x1 unlined summer suit and x3 EG Cappelli on way this week.

You'll be pleased to know the shoes are mostly English made - C&J, Cheaney, Bodiley's and a couple of Meermin, ties in current rotation are a combination of Drake's, Aquascutum (and some other ones I don't currently wear) The suits are all quality neopolitan Italian made and I've had so many complements and colleagues wanting to get my tailor over from London to NY!

I don't have many vices, I don't smoke, I hardly drink now, I live and die by the sword lol and train hard in the gym

I am by no means loaded but fortunate enough to fund my recent wardrobe upgrade. The power of the internet/now living in the US -minus UK VAT (wahoo!) and the click of a button is dangerous for my wallet for accessories and shoes..

I'm sure you guys have had this before from the other half - think it's a difficult to justify anything, some items pop up in the wardrobe - she doesn't miss a thing! smile.gif

Personally I have never felt happier and confident in my appearance and take pride in being amongst the best dressed in the office - some US colleagues even said several times they thought I was over-dressed however why should we ever have to feel there's any excuse not to be well dressed? No pocket square lately and trying to stay CBD

I now have a focus on accessories since I have a decent base in terms of suits,shirts and shoes ..x3 EG Cappelli ties ont their way as I write this

Besides on having just completing on my London apartment yesterday and trying to save for a wedding (next year) I think my spending from now is going to have to be reduced.

So to the subject of the thread - "Do I have a problem? Maybe/maybe not! " satisfied.gif

This forum has been a massive educational tool nod[1].gif

Peace
post #2 of 13
Yes you do - this is too long to read and then respond.
post #3 of 13
The main problem is probably your future wife's expectation.
post #4 of 13
There are two key questions, in my view.

1) Are you meeting your goals on savings?
2) Are your clothing (etc) expenses crowding out other, more important or beneficial spending (vacations/dinners/experiences/home)?

If you are meeting your savings goals and are not depriving other parts of your life, then you are fine. Each can have his own hobbies, within the confines of his constraints.

If it is affecting your financial well-being or consuming disproportionate amount of your money, then you have a problem.

You should, however, also take into account the toll your spending takes on your wife/whatever. Even if you can afford it, if it causes her anxiety, you should be receptive to that.

If you find you have a problem, then stop teasing yourself by looking at stuff online, shopping, etc.
post #5 of 13
Another strategy is to become very picky about possible purchases, which can include spreadsheet planning. Perhaps, to satisfy compulsions and avoid boredom, have minimal restrictions in one relatively low-cost area of apparel - such as casual shirts or ties. Like the clothing equivalent of a cheat day.
post #6 of 13
If you feel your passion for clothes is causing or may cause you problems in the future, then perhaps you need some moderation.
I like the advice of mensimageconsultant to use a spreadsheet - I use it and it really makes me feel that I have enough clothes biggrin.gif .
I frequently read articles on minimalism and they encourage me to reduce things I own and focus on more important things. However, be careful - do everything in moderation, many would-be minimalists get initially so over excited and go too far with their new hobby: they throw everything out, then later get into a stage of regret, start buying everything back, get into a new hobby of buying things and end up becoming hoarders shog[1].gif
post #7 of 13

guy needs a hobby eh?

 

nah, put it in perspective.  Forum member who hasn't posted in a while has over 150 pairs of shoes.  In EG alone.

post #8 of 13
Your wife sounds like a simpleton. You should spend less time with her, and more with your wardrobe.
post #9 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torsion View Post

Right people - I think this will be an interesting thread (not sure if it's been done before)

On Sunday night the wife asks me "do I have a problem, do I need help?"

Besides on having just completing on my London apartment yesterday and trying to save for a wedding (next year) I think my spending from now is going to have to be reduced.



Peace

Am I missing something here ?
Are you planning to have 1 wife in NY another in London ??
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pliny View Post

guy needs a hobby eh?

nah, put it in perspective.  Forum member who hasn't posted in a while has over 150 pairs of shoes.  In EG alone.

I thought aportnoy had 1,000+
post #11 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by md2010 View Post

Am I missing something here ?
Are you planning to have 1 wife in NY another in London ??

I think OP is pulling the 'ol two wives in two cities tale. It will end with him having ashes left over for clothes...
post #12 of 13
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by GBR View Post

Yes you do - this is too long to read and then respond.

+1,000

 

Cliffs?

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