or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Men's Style › Classic Menswear › Who compliments you more--men or women?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Who compliments you more--men or women? - Page 3

Poll Results: Who compliments you more? Men or Women?

 
  • 32% (12)
    Men
  • 67% (25)
    Women
37 Total Votes  
post #31 of 45

These kind of threads are always an interesting psychological study..... biggrin.gif

 

I think it's worth suggesting that it's simply some people's interpersonal nature to compliment others. They've learnt to do this culturally, and are often pretty indiscriminating about who & what they compliment. It's simply a quick way of building a superficial rapport and/or starting a conversation. I suspect that a good 95% of compliments that people receive fall into this "social lubricant" category and shouldn't really be thought of as more than that. Obviously, if you're wearing something eye-catching - or indeed, are conspicuously well-dressed in a more simple way - then you're more likely to attract one of these kind of compliments. They're pretty meaningless beyond being a general expression of goodwill/"niceness". If your dress wasn't notable, you'd probably have got a compliment on something else. I tend to have this social habit/tick myself, so I suppose I notice it in others quite easily.

 

The other 5% of compliments might actually be about your clothes, but are probably still more likely to be an icebreaker for other reasons. In terms of the the "cultural compliments", obviously there'll be more of them from people whose surrounding culture permits them to do this to you. This depends on how they view you, or rather, how they view themselves in relation to you... i.e. what stereotype they unconsciously file you (and themselves) into.

 

Just thinking out loud...

post #32 of 45

Women - Except for a very good friend (she tells me if she likes it or not), they compliment with the way they look at your and/or talk to you.

 

Men - It's either an backhanded compliment or direct compliment.  Metro, too formal, overdressed are some of the words I heard used.  Most creative I've heard was gay cowboy when I was wearing an guncheck SC with alden boots.  Another one was a hippie lumberjack.  Funny thing is, those kids (more than half of our employee are 3 years out of college) are now starting to dress better (SC, dress shirt, dress pants and wing tips).  They usually go for the GQ look of tight fitting jackets and pants.  However, it's a big improvement when I first join the company a year ago where flipflops and cargo shorts/pants and t-shirt was not unusual.

post #33 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holdfast View Post

These kind of threads are always an interesting psychological study..... biggrin.gif

I think it's worth suggesting that it's simply some people's interpersonal nature to compliment others. They've learnt to do this culturally, and are often pretty indiscriminating about who & what they compliment. It's simply a quick way of building a superficial rapport and/or starting a conversation. I suspect that a good 95% of compliments that people receive fall into this "social lubricant" category and shouldn't really be thought of as more than that. Obviously, if you're wearing something eye-catching - or indeed, are conspicuously well-dressed in a more simple way - then you're more likely to attract one of these kind of compliments. They're pretty meaningless beyond being a general expression of goodwill/"niceness". If your dress wasn't notable, you'd probably have got a compliment on something else. I tend to have this social habit/tick myself, so I suppose I notice it in others quite easily.

The other 5% of compliments might actually be about your clothes, but are probably still more likely to be an icebreaker for other reasons. In terms of the the "cultural compliments", obviously there'll be more of them from people whose surrounding culture permits them to do this to you. This depends on how they view you, or rather, how they view themselves in relation to you... i.e. what stereotype they unconsciously file you (and themselves) into.

Just thinking out loud...

Amongst the English I'm pretty sure a good proportion of compliments mean the exact opposite of what they purport. I was discussing architecture with someone recently, and established that neither of us liked what a mutual acquaintance had done to their house. But I can remember that same person saying to the acquaintance something along the lines of "oh I love what you've done here." Could have chosen a compliment about absolutely anything for social lubrication - chose one that was the polar opposite of their true opinion. I suspect when an English person compliments me on what I'm wearing, half the time it means they think I look like a clown.
post #34 of 45
I enjoy it, the subtext.
post #35 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snaporaz View Post

I'd say there are numerous factors at play here.

Firstly, although more women are clothes-conscious than men, and many shop for their husbands and even boyfriends, I doubt that many are truly interested in the specifics of menswear. A woman might want a well-dressed partner, but she probably won't lust after EG Westminsters on his behalf. (Christian Louboutins for herself is another matter). So, compliments tend to be either quite general or focused on something particularly colourful or eye-catching.

Secondly, general compliments by a woman are quite tricky if the guy is young. She risks awkwardness or, worse, being somehow rebuffed, whether or not she's interested; and, if she's a little older, there's the added risk that the guy might not even suppose she is.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holdfast View Post

These kind of threads are always an interesting psychological study..... biggrin.gif

 

I think it's worth suggesting that it's simply some people's interpersonal nature to compliment others. They've learnt to do this culturally, and are often pretty indiscriminating about who & what they compliment. It's simply a quick way of building a superficial rapport and/or starting a conversation. I suspect that a good 95% of compliments that people receive fall into this "social lubricant" category and shouldn't really be thought of as more than that. Obviously, if you're wearing something eye-catching - or indeed, are conspicuously well-dressed in a more simple way - then you're more likely to attract one of these kind of compliments. They're pretty meaningless beyond being a general expression of goodwill/"niceness". If your dress wasn't notable, you'd probably have got a compliment on something else. I tend to have this social habit/tick myself, so I suppose I notice it in others quite easily.

 

The other 5% of compliments might actually be about your clothes, but are probably still more likely to be an icebreaker for other reasons. In terms of the the "cultural compliments", obviously there'll be more of them from people whose surrounding culture permits them to do this to you. This depends on how they view you, or rather, how they view themselves in relation to you... i.e. what stereotype they unconsciously file you (and themselves) into.

 

Just thinking out loud...


 I really think the compliments I've gotten were only because of my clothes in most cases. Like the first guy says- compliments from a woman can be very tricky on her part. That's why I made my "facade" comment earlier.

post #36 of 45

Although i'd prefer it were the other way, I get more compliments from men. I agree with the post above: compliments from a woman can be very tricky, and I assume most just keep it to themselves. A few days ago I was told by a gay guy that he thought I looked good, so I must be doing something right I think.

post #37 of 45
I've never had a compliment from anyone... ever! It would be music to my ears if this ever happened. I sometimes fantasize that a woman (any woman) would glance my way. We aren't all male models on SF you know. This kind of thread only magnifies the unfairness in life. If this was politics, they'd say it wasn't right for all the wealth to be held by the few. Yet when it comes to looks and attractiveness, we have the privileged few (e.g. WAYWRN) taking it all. That's right, every last drop of it. And what are the rest of us left with?.. nothing but flabby jowls and buttocks. Well, I've had enough mate, and it's time to take back what should have been ours from birth.

Who's with me brothers?
post #38 of 45

 I never worry about things I have no control over. If someone gives a compliment then great. If not, that's great too.

 

 I don't wear clothes to get compliments.

post #39 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by rokr32 View Post

Although i'd prefer it were the other way, I get more compliments from men. I agree with the post above: compliments from a woman can be very tricky, and I assume most just keep it to themselves. A few days ago I was told by a gay guy that he thought I looked good, so I must be doing something right I think.

 

 Yeah. I get way more "looks" that say more than words anyway.

post #40 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by E,TF View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holdfast View Post

These kind of threads are always an interesting psychological study..... biggrin.gif

I think it's worth suggesting that it's simply some people's interpersonal nature to compliment others. They've learnt to do this culturally, and are often pretty indiscriminating about who & what they compliment. It's simply a quick way of building a superficial rapport and/or starting a conversation. I suspect that a good 95% of compliments that people receive fall into this "social lubricant" category and shouldn't really be thought of as more than that. Obviously, if you're wearing something eye-catching - or indeed, are conspicuously well-dressed in a more simple way - then you're more likely to attract one of these kind of compliments. They're pretty meaningless beyond being a general expression of goodwill/"niceness". If your dress wasn't notable, you'd probably have got a compliment on something else. I tend to have this social habit/tick myself, so I suppose I notice it in others quite easily.

The other 5% of compliments might actually be about your clothes, but are probably still more likely to be an icebreaker for other reasons. In terms of the the "cultural compliments", obviously there'll be more of them from people whose surrounding culture permits them to do this to you. This depends on how they view you, or rather, how they view themselves in relation to you... i.e. what stereotype they unconsciously file you (and themselves) into.

Just thinking out loud...

Amongst the English I'm pretty sure a good proportion of compliments mean the exact opposite of what they purport. I was discussing architecture with someone recently, and established that neither of us liked what a mutual acquaintance had done to their house. But I can remember that same person saying to the acquaintance something along the lines of "oh I love what you've done here." Could have chosen a compliment about absolutely anything for social lubrication - chose one that was the polar opposite of their true opinion. I suspect when an English person compliments me on what I'm wearing, half the time it means they think I look like a clown.

Yes, this is certainly true too. Another part of what makes compliments an interesting cultural phenomenon. laugh.gif

 

If anyone wants some lovely, amusing examples of this approach taken to comedic extremes, half of what Sir Humphrey says to Jim Hacker in Yes, Minister falls into this category e.g. "that's certainly a very courageous suggestion" when the PM suggests something really stupid. Of course, when he wants to really ram home the point, it becomes a "courageous and novel suggestion". laugh.gif

post #41 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonylamer View Post

 

Yeah, I figured there'd be a reply like this. I don't think that you can hit too hard against the inanity of a post on a board where a thread on folded shirts has more than 500,000 views.

 

1) While most people don't know what RLPL is, they do know when something looks expensive. Or just looks good. So while they wouldn't care, it might be intimidating to the extent that a huge diamond around someone's neck might push people away.

 

This is such a simple thread that I can't really understand how its point has been missed: it's not about how ugly I am; it's whether or not a man is more likely than a woman to compliment a man. Although, 2) I guess, if I take your argument, I'm extremely attractive to straight and gay men, but women don't really care for me?

 

Okay, now back to the really important stuff: like buying a breast wallet.

1) "Looks expensive" and "Is expensive" often aren't the same. A RLPL may be expensive, but it doesn't necessarily look expensive. Maybe that's the logical mistake that you're making. An inexpensive jacket can "look expensive" if it fit very well.  If people are going to be "intimidated," then they'll be intimidated because of the way that your clothes look and fit, not because it's a "$5K RLPL." That still comes off as trying to explain away why you don't get compliments. "People are just intimidated by my jacket. It's not because I'm butt-ugly or have an off-putting personality."

 

2) lol...You just pulled that out of your @ss. Nothing that I said even remotely implied anything about sexuality (yours or anyone else's). You're just grasping at straws for the sake of argument.

post #42 of 45

I get compliments from old people.

post #43 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDiaz View Post

I get compliments from old people.

They don't count because of vision loss and cataracts..
post #44 of 45

That's probably one of the reasons. lol8[1].gif

post #45 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vodking View Post

In my experience, women at work tend to notice the more colourful components of an outfit while men have complemented me on things that look quite heavy and good quality.  So by moving towards the SF-approved wardrobe of blues, greys and browns, I'd expect less complements from women.  It's rare to find one who appreciates understated style and not matching satin tie/PS sets and shiny polyester suits...

 

I remember a few months ago, I was wearing a charcoal suit and grey overcoat - both bespoke, Harrisons cloth, and fitted beautifully (I promise!) - along with a cheap old navy tie with pink motifs from Hawes & Curtis.  A girl came over and said how nice my tie was.  When I got home that evening, I threw it in the bin.

I bet you she couldn't quite work out why your outfit looked so 'right' and picked up on the first thing that stood out...

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Classic Menswear
Styleforum › Forums › Men's Style › Classic Menswear › Who compliments you more--men or women?