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Haiku Battle

post #1 of 175
Thread Starter 
Ok, so many of you have noticed, shouted at me, and mocked my haiku-writing for the past couple of days. Sometimes you just get bored...it's been the slowest weekend ever!

Anyways: I still love haikus and instead of cluttering up perfectly reasonable threads I've decided to start a haiku battle. Basically the way it works is: I'll start off with a haiku. The next person up will take some element of that haiku and turn it back around on me - imagery, subject, meter, whatever. Try to make it a sort of riposte. It's actually a sort of old Japanese form/game.

It's a fun little game. And it'll shut me up!


The pen weeps black ink;
and parchment stained with its tears
crumples in her hands.
post #2 of 175
Yes, I am aware.
My haiku is very bad.
I am miserable.



JB
post #3 of 175
The haiku master Weeps for faded Nudie Bjorns Olas will not join
post #4 of 175
告白は
するより聞くのが
苦手です
post #5 of 175
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amerikajinda View Post
告白は
するより聞くのが
苦手です

Foe boasts of his strength;
yet in foreign tongue, his pride
falls upon deaf ears.
post #6 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augusto86 View Post
Foe boasts of his strength;
yet in foreign tongue, his pride
falls upon deaf ears.

You: Big fish, small pond
Wanna step with true ballers?
You gonna get served.
post #7 of 175
The king to be crowned
Punks jump up to get beat down
Always defeat clowns

post #8 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augusto86 View Post
The pen weeps black ink;
and parchment stained with its tears
crumples in her hands.

Regardless of the pro/con haiku battle, you must know that I really appreciate this one. I write alot, by hand, with a dip pen, and it is a very important process to me -- weeping tears is an apt analogy. I have written it out, and have put it under the glass that protects my desktop.

Thanks,
Huntsman
post #9 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huntsman View Post
Regardless of the pro/con haiku battle, you must know that I really appreciate this one. I write alot, by hand, with a dip pen, and it is a very important process to me -- weeping tears is an apt analogy. I have written it out, and have put it under the glass that protects my desktop.

Thanks,
Huntsman

I agree. Augusto has written a few nice haikus in the last few weeks. I hope he is saving these. They will make a nice collection someday.
post #10 of 175
a mere golf pencil
wields more power of change
than my whole hard drive
post #11 of 175
endless New York rain
spring clothes in closet unworn
fucking Nor'easter
post #12 of 175
Chorse, you win I think


Angry passengers,
A whole lot of fricking rain,
This is the airport.

JB
post #13 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by chorse123 View Post
endless New York rain
spring clothes in closet unworn
fucking Nor'easter

Like he said.

[add lines and syllables as necessary]
post #14 of 175
rain, rain go away come back another day, please. plagiarism rules.
post #15 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by amerikajinda View Post
rain rain go away
come back another day please
plagiarism rules

winner!

edit: sorry to quote before the commas
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