Originally Posted by lpalma121
I’ve had it already with some of these women,, seems every time I get together with one something always happens. It ranges from being tipsy and burning the head liner of my Mercedes with a cigarette ( because your drunk ass can’t wait) to breaking wine glasses at my home. Let’s not forget the drinks that get spilled on my expensive shirts and suits (yeah…. Ouch) at bar/lounges. Yesterday was the best , some new girl came over and accidentally knocked over my new $600 lamp , luckily only the shade got damaged so I hope when I go and scavenge for a new shade it’s not a big deal but I have a feeling it is. I tried to act all cool about it like “it’s just a lamp” , meanwhile I’m thinking I can ’t wait until you ass leaves so I could try to piece this baby back together somehow. It was like that scene from The Christmas story” with the leg lamp. And what do all these events have in common… They all say “I’m sorry”. But you know what , sorry doesn’t pay for the damage that’s been caused. I wouldn’t even have the gal to request money for these “accidents’ Funny thing is, how come I have yet to go over to someone’s home and cause damage to their property or even their vehicles? Is it just that I’m careful? Is it that I know things cost money? Hey I also get tipsy …..but I’m aware of my surroundings and the things I do. These women get a little drunk and start knocking shit all over the place like toddlers. I’m just done.
Pretending to act cool about the lamp was the wrong way to go, mang. Now she'll never learn. Next time it'll be an even nicer lamp that meets its maker. Or maybe a statue or something (you are classy enough to own numerous statues, right?).
The better strategy would have been to fall to the floor, flapping your arms about wildly and emitting a shrill, piercing cry of pain, while occasionally petting or nuzzling the bent lampshade and staring up at the girl, menacingly, like a wild animal stricken by the loss of its cub.
The thing is, it wasn't just a lamp. She won't know that unless you make it very clear. Drunk bitches be socially tone deaf.