or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Business, Careers & Education › To all the successful, experienced members - Was it all worth it?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

To all the successful, experienced members - Was it all worth it?

post #1 of 81
Thread Starter 

I'll be 29 soon, and am going through an existential crisis.  I grew up very poor and tried to do everything by the book to escape my hellish earlier years.   So before college I pretty much just studied, in college it was study and work, and after graduation it's work; I have never partied hard(never even smoked weed).

 

I'm frantically trying to climb the corporate ladder because I think money is the biggest/kind of only thing that can make me find happiness.  Of course everyone will say family is, but not until I get married(mother left when I was younger, etc.).  People have told me I'm obsessed with money, power, and respect.  When you and your family sorely lacked those things growing up you tend to want it even more.

 

But I can't help but think how much not taking advantage of my youth will cause severe regret when I'm older.

 

So to those of you who are very successful(>=200k/yr or net worth >= 1.5 million) and are 47 years old and up, and had to scramble at the expense of your social life when you were younger because you were born poor, has your success been worth it?

 

Keep in mind that if you are ridiculously rich and say "yeah it was worth it" that might be a little obvious.

 

I voiced a similar concern in an earlier thread and the general consensus was to take time off and travel.  I've actually done that, though maybe not for as long as they were suggesting.  I didn't gain much from it.  I don't think I should try it again since my career is just starting to get into second gear.

 

Thanks

post #2 of 81
First, go smoke some weed and think about all these things you've been thinking about lately.

You will have a better understanding.
post #3 of 81
In my opinion 'Career' is rarely what makes someone really happy with their life. A good career seems to be a cornerstone, however it is not the only thing.

Of my friends in the successful camp, those that seem the happiest are well traveled, have a good relationship, some healthy hobbies and generally do not compare themselves regularly to others or ever even talk about money. Those that seem much less so are often comparing themselves to others and have nothing but career.

There are some outliers but they are rare. Everyone knows the person who is extremely successful and seemingly very happy with their life and also the person who basically floats about without a dollar or a care who also manages to find happiness.
post #4 of 81
Happiness is a state of mind.
post #5 of 81
I just barely fall into the income range, 46, not the net worth range. I was dirt poor, too. I am happy that I can afford to live reasonably well and give my family a good life. I honestly don't need more than I have, and if I sacrificed more and worked harder and took more risks, I could probably make more money. so you have to find the balance, you want a reasonable amount of disposable income, but you need to be able to spend time with your spouce/kids, you want to have some time for yourself, you want to enjoy your job, more or less.

reading, that doens't sound too helpful. good luck
post #6 of 81
Quote:
I grew up very poor and tried to do everything by the book to escape my hellish earlier years. So before college I pretty much just studied, in college it was study and work, and after graduation it's work; I have never partied hard(never even smoked weed).

I'm slightly older than you (34), and adhered to a similar route of studying hard throughout college and, later, working hard in my twenties. My upbringing was very middle class, though I attended high school with a pretty affluent crowd. I was never obsessed with "power, money, and respect" as you describe it, though, as I hit my thirties, I realize that my career has become more a lifestyle than just a job. I enjoy my work at least 70-80% of the time though I also wonder about the life I'm missing (e.g. marriage, kids, extended vacations, three-day weekends, etc.).

Browse your Facebook updates, pick out activities that bring you happiness, and then incorporate them into your own life. Afterwards, take some time to read your old posts and try to formulate an honest reply to your original questions

Edit #1: replying to this thread is a cathartic activity.
Edit #2: I'm still waiting on my career to move into second gear (management position)
post #7 of 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by LooksGood View Post

I'll be 29 soon, and am going through an existential crisis.  I grew up very poor and tried to do everything by the book to escape my hellish earlier years.   So before college I pretty much just studied, in college it was study and work, and after graduation it's work; I have never partied hard(never even smoked weed).

I'm frantically trying to climb the corporate ladder because I think money is the biggest/kind of only thing that can make me find happiness.  Of course everyone will say family is, but not until I get married(mother left when I was younger, etc.).  People have told me I'm obsessed with money, power, and respect.  When you and your family sorely lacked those things growing up you tend to want it even more.

But I can't help but think how much not taking advantage of my youth will cause severe regret when I'm older.

So to those of you who are very successful(>=200k/yr or net worth >= 1.5 million) and are 47 years old and up, and had to scramble at the expense of your social life when you were younger because you were born poor, has your success been worth it?

Keep in mind that if you are ridiculously rich and say "yeah it was worth it" that might be a little obvious.

I voiced a similar concern in an earlier thread and the general consensus was to take time off and travel.  I've actually done that, though maybe not for as long as they were suggesting.  I didn't gain much from it.  I don't think I should try it again since my career is just starting to get into second gear.

Thanks

Nothing wrong with being very driven. However, since you are particularly worried about "losing your youth", what do you want out of taking advantage of it? Living in a dingy studio eating ramen and drinking PBrs? Sleeping with random waify hipsters? Backpacking across Kurdistan? Why can't you be an ambitious, work aholic, young guy?
post #8 of 81
I partied all of my teens and most of my 20s away. Not sure what to tell you.
post #9 of 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

I partied all of my teens and most of my 20s away. Not sure what to tell you.
I think GreenFrog has it covered.
post #10 of 81
I think it will be worth it.

Not answering directly, but I have 30 something friends and know friend of friends who are pushing 40 with no assets, little work experience. I suppose they were the typical 'too cool for school' crowd.

Frankly, it is quite pathetic to be in that situation.

I say keep working hard, buy some apartments, make some more investments and learn to be a self-reliant good citizen.

Oh, and there are many women today, given the economic change of events, who place gainful employment and wealth above the traditional criteria, so what I am saying is you can also get your pick of women if you play it right.
post #11 of 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

First, go smoke some weed and think about all these things you've been thinking about lately.

You will have a better understanding.

May actually the only advice that is worth listening to. Hahahah!

post #12 of 81
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post

I just barely fall into the income range, 46, not the net worth range. I was dirt poor, too. I am happy that I can afford to live reasonably well and give my family a good life. I honestly don't need more than I have, and if I sacrificed more and worked harder and took more risks, I could probably make more money. so you have to find the balance, you want a reasonable amount of disposable income, but you need to be able to spend time with your spouce/kids, you want to have some time for yourself, you want to enjoy your job, more or less.

reading, that doens't sound too helpful. good luck


No, your post was along the lines of what I was looking for.  Although you were poor, did you have a good social life growing up?  Because people can be poor and have a good social life, unfortunately that wasn't the case for me because I went to school with a bunch of rich kids.

post #13 of 81
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bringusingoodale View Post

I think it will be worth it.

Not answering directly, but I have 30 something friends and know friend of friends who are pushing 40 with no assets, little work experience. I suppose they were the typical 'too cool for school' crowd.

Frankly, it is quite pathetic to be in that situation.

I say keep working hard, buy some apartments, make some more investments and learn to be a self-reliant good citizen.

Oh, and there are many women today, given the economic change of events, who place gainful employment and wealth above the traditional criteria, so what I am saying is you can also get your pick of women if you play it right.


Women who put wealth above traditional criteria like personality or even looks are fucking disgusting and I would never want to be with someone like that. 

post #14 of 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by LooksGood View Post


No, your post was along the lines of what I was looking for.  Although you were poor, did you have a good social life growing up?  Because people can be poor and have a good social life, unfortunately that wasn't the case for me because I went to school with a bunch of rich kids.

If you went to school with a bunch of rich kids you blew some awesome networking opportunities.
post #15 of 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by LooksGood View Post


No, your post was along the lines of what I was looking for.  Although you were poor, did you have a good social life growing up?  Because people can be poor and have a good social life, unfortunately that wasn't the case for me because I went to school with a bunch of rich kids.

good question - not until I was about 13, then I sort of came into my own. my family moved pretty much every year until I was 13, and then I stayed in one place for a long time.

really - as a follow up to my previous post, balance is the most important thing. I drive carpool a half dozen times a month, I have lunch with my wife 2-3 times a month, I bathe my kids 5-10 times a month. we sit down together to eat 5-10 times a month. those things are really important, much more important than a big house or a new car, in my opinion.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Business, Careers & Education
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Business, Careers & Education › To all the successful, experienced members - Was it all worth it?