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Getting involved with a single mother - Page 2

post #16 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post

I did this for a few months with a woman who was older as well. Her son was about 8 years old or so and she never let me meet him. We "dated" somewhat casually though.

At best she will always be a woman who was foolish enough to have a child outside of marriage, and that to me is the ultimate dealbreaker.


The ones that want to do the kid intro early are trouble.

OP, leave the poor woman alone. She is probably struggling and looking for some real stability in her life and you're likely lying to her and selling her interest for some sex. You're why men suck.

I don't agree w/ the out of marriage comment. This is not 1840. People have kids in many different situations nowadays.
post #17 of 39

Outside of marriage, haha, joke of the millenium. Seriously.

 

On the other hand, call me oldskool. I do not get involved with single mothers, and would not even think about bringing up another man's child. That's trouble from start to end. Simple as that.

post #18 of 39

It seems like every girl out there has a kid. 

post #19 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by idfnl View Post


I don't agree w/ the out of marriage comment. This is not 1840. People have kids in many different situations nowadays.

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlesgoodyear View Post

Outside of marriage, haha, joke of the millenium. Seriously.

You don't have to agree, but a woman is a tramp with a child outside of marriage in 1840 and in 2040 regardless.
post #20 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post



You don't have to agree, but a woman is a tramp with a child outside of marriage in 1840 and in 2040 regardless.

 

This is a divorced woman with a child. She didn't have a child out of wedlock. But your assumption that she's a tramp sure shows you for the misogynist you are. 

post #21 of 39
I wrote that any woman who has a baby out of wedlock is a tramp. The fact that she is divorced means this wouldn't apply to her (obviously), and your assumption that it would apply shows how much of an idiot you are.

Furthermore, being divorced is probably as bad or even more shameful.
post #22 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post

I wrote that any woman who has a baby out of wedlock is a tramp. The fact that she is divorced means this wouldn't apply to her (obviously), and your assumption that it would apply shows how much of an idiot you are.

Furthermore, being divorced is probably as bad or even more shameful.

oh i see you're a moron. thanks for clearing that up.
post #23 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

oh i see you're a moron. thanks for clearing that up.

If you disagree, feel free to explain yourself.
post #24 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post

If you disagree, feel free to explain yourself.

well, among many obvious points, you seemingly hold a mother solely responsible for having a child and make no mention of a father
post #25 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

well, among many obvious points, you seemingly hold a mother solely responsible for having a child and make no mention of a father

well, she is solely responsible, so while he might be a moron, it isn't because of that assumption.
post #26 of 39
I'm glad you brought that up. It certainly is the responsibility of the woman to not get pregnant before she is married.

There is nothing moronic about being against divorce and children out of wedlock. There are serious consequences to all involved for both cases.
post #27 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post

I'm glad you brought that up. It certainly is the responsibility of the woman to not get pregnant before she is married.

and what role does the hypothetical father play in your social scenario? completely free of any responsibility?
post #28 of 39
I believe once there is a man involved, he is responsible as well to be careful not to impregnate a woman who is not his wife. He would owe it to the woman and the child to be married and have a stable family.
post #29 of 39
^^

I'm amazed and not amazed this attitude still exists. There is a wealth of anecdotal evidence that these accidental kids grow up in awful homes with people that feel trapped and resent them. There's a remedy for unwanted kids but I suppose you're the type which doesn't support such remedies either and wants to force people to be miserable with a mistake.

Or you want to force one party to, for example, live with a raging alcoholic physical abuser? In this scenario you think it's better for someone to maintain a home rather than seek a separation/divorce?

Out of curiosity, this woman in your scenario is a tramp, what do you label the guy then?
post #30 of 39
You are only amazed because of what our society now deems these things as acceptable when they shouldn't be.

It is the responsibility for both parents to provide a loving home and family. If they are raging alcoholics, then they are failing. If they abuse their spouse, they are failing.
It is not *that* difficult to have a decent family and love your spouse. Someone who cant do this, is seriously lacking in maturity.

If it is a relationship that you would resent, then why would you be sleeping with that person in the first place?

As for unwanted kids, I know the remedies. I don't think that they should be encouraged or even considered as an option for a woman. What kind of person thinks, "I'll have sex with people I'm attracted to but would resent in the long term, and if they get me pregnant I'll just go have an abortion?"

The father is a deadbeat if he doesn't accept responsibility.

This all comes down to accepting the consequences of your actions. Fathering a child, getting pregnant from casual (or even monogamous) sex, etc.

Someone who seeks out an abortion, is an abusive spouse, an alcoholic, a deadbeat, etc. is avoiding responsibility and consequences of their actions.
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