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Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread - Page 43

post #631 of 1665
Quote:
Originally Posted by E,TF View Post

To bring this back to class again, having everyone in identical gear gives away the fact that they don't own this stuff anyway, which, if you're a bit of a snob, may not be a signal you want to send. In England, every upper middle class man is expected to own a morning suit (if you don't you rent one without telling anyone). Thus at a wedding, you simply tell people to turn up in morning dress and that's what they do - naturally they'll all be similar but none identical. If you want to identify the bridal party you perhaps have matching boutonnieres.

Compare these guys who clearly own the stuff (literally and metaphorically, if you know what I mean) -



and these guys, who clearly don't -



Same thing applies to lounge suits.

Remember that not so long ago (fifty years or so) there were no such things as matching suits period, as there was no such thing as an OTR suit. Everyone either went to a local tailor/seamstress and had clothes made, or they bought second hand clothes that had been made for someone else. Either way, it was all unique.

You actually think that middle or working-class American men are going to purchase Morning Suits to be in a wedding? And do we think comparing the dressing standards of the British Elite who are hanging out with royalty is the proper standard to compare a typical American wedding to? (and I don't think that was a wedding...I think they were at Ascot.)

I don't think this is a groom and groomsmen. This looks like the groom hanging out with some of the male wedding guests. The fact that only the groom has a boutonniere should be a dead-giveaway:






Look, I am not questioning aesthetics or quality. I am trying to be realistic. If the groom and groomsmen have the standards of most SF members they would not need to come to SF for advice. Nine times out of ten they are going to be better off getting a rental from a better-than-average place than to let every guy fend for himself. You might have one groomsman who is an investment banker and another who is a construction worker.

Saying that having them all in matching formalwear makes them look like "waitstaff" is subjective. Since at 99% of weddings the non-wedding party male guests will be in regular suits (if in suits at all) the fact that the wedding party is in formals is what makes them stand out.

I will continue to be a voice of reason for men wandering in here who have limited budgets/ resources who are planning on meeting society's expectations that the male members of the wedding party will be in cohesive formalwear. Now, if a guy wanders in and says "I want to splurge for my wedding and get a bespoke tux or suit" I am certainly not going to retort with "Oh....no! Just rent a Perry Ellis tux from Mens Wearhouse! You'll like the way you look-I guarantee it!" I think we should encourage the less-experienced dressers here to do the best with the budget, resources and expectations they have...not subject them to ridiculously high standards. SF means Style Forum, not Snob Forum.
post #632 of 1665
Thread Starter 
Why do you want to make the wedding party "stand out" with their dress? This would not be the case traditionally - groomsmen and guests would all be in morning dress. The only one in special attire is the bride.

To me, it's about whether you want the feel of it to be like a middle school Christmas pageant, with the players dolled up in fancy dress costumes, or whether you want it to look like two adults, making a very serious promise to each other in front of their supporting friends and family. The turn to matching costumes has come along with thinking of the wedding as a kind of performance or production, which has been encouraged by the wedding planning industry, rather than a ceremony and a celebration.
post #633 of 1665
Thread Starter 
Note that I'm not suggesting a higher standard of dress necessarily. My alternative to rented formal wear is not necessarily bespoke formal wear - just the nicest stuff everybody has. The Sunday best, even though Sundays are now just for watching football. Adding touches like wedding ties, maybe a boutonnière, an odd waistcoat, a DB suit, can make it different than office wear in a nice way, but not required. But let yourself and your guests come as people, as individuals, rather than cake decorations.
post #634 of 1665
And again...outside of your refined social you might be surprised/ disgusted at one might consider "Sunday Best." Better to stick your Cousin Fred in a rental Joseph Abboud tux than have him go to Sears and buy an ugly suit that he won't have tailored. It is easier and more diplomatic to put every guy in the same suit than to say, "Hey Cousin Fred...that suit is two sizes too big...and the pants have way too much break....and that tie is clearly polyester...and no, black sneakers are not OK with a suit..."

If the bride/ groom/ bride's mother holy trinity has already settled on matching formalwear then let's make sure that they get good quality stuff that will fit not look like shit 20 years later. As opposed to saying "oh no....you just CAN'T rent formalwear!!!!."
post #635 of 1665
Thread Starter 
I don't know why you think all my friends are so high class. In any case, if you're really worried about what someone might wear, then you can give them some gentle guidance. Guys that don't care enough to have a nice suit probably won't mind if you give them more direction. You can be clear that gents should wear dress shoes, and include pictures of what dress shoes look like if need be. Ties are common gifts from grooms to groomsmen.

Even if you have to buy yourself an outfit for one of the groomsmen, you could get it done reasonably for a few hundred bucks (things get much easier when you don't need them all to match). This is in comparison to forcing every one of them to spend $200, as well as a couple of hours picking up and dropping off the stuff. That's on top of having to wear something that looks worse than what you already own. In terms of convenience and expense to the party, rentals are obviously worse.

If the bride and MotB are fixated in formal wear, that's a separate issue. Then the groom just has to decide if he cares that much or not. But that's not really what we're discussing here.
post #636 of 1665
Quote:
Originally Posted by unbelragazzo View Post

I don't know why you think all my friends are so high class.

My mistake! I just found a picture of some of the guys you hang with!


post #637 of 1665
Thread Starter 
Umm...ok, I'm guessing that's from some TV show I've never seen. If you're asking whether I've ever gone bowling with guys wearing tshirts, the answer is yes.
post #638 of 1665
Thread Starter 
Anyway, in the highly unlikely event that I ever got married, I have some friends that would wear a bespoke suit to it, some that would have to buy something to wear. I'd rather help the second group find something on eBay than force everybody to pay for rentals.
post #639 of 1665
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrDaniels View Post

I think it's a bunch of BS and will drive the photographer to madness and make the pictures look like crap.

Right. Because wedding photos from before the formalwear rental industry became prominent all look like crap and photographers never take good pictures of groups of people who are not wearing the exact same thing...
post #640 of 1665
Quote:
Originally Posted by unbelragazzo View Post

Umm...ok, I'm guessing that's from some TV show I've never seen. If you're asking whether I've ever gone bowling with guys wearing tshirts, the answer is yes.

I bet they were bespoke.
post #641 of 1665
Thread Starter 
Ok, now this seems to about me and my perceived elite social circle, so I'm going to sign off of this particular conversation and go tell my valet to hand wash my bespoke tshirts.
post #642 of 1665
Be sure he keeps the dust off of your made-to-measure shoelaces as well.
post #643 of 1665
MrDaniels, if you are going to start a flame war, you need to bring the heat. This is one of the lamest flames I've seen around here. Your arguments don't even make sense.

My block list grows larger by the day...
post #644 of 1665
Quote:
Originally Posted by random-adam View Post

The above point, as I see it: rented clothing (and the idea of perfectly-matched groomsmen) reeks of playing dress-up.

If everybody instead shows up wearing suits that fit properly in dark colors with white shirts and appropriate ties, it looks like a gathering of grown-ass men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by unbelragazzo View Post

To me, it's about whether you want the feel of it to be like a middle school Christmas pageant, with the players dolled up in fancy dress costumes, or whether you want it to look like two adults, making a very serious promise to each other in front of their supporting friends and family. The turn to matching costumes has come along with thinking of the wedding as a kind of performance or production, which has been encouraged by the wedding planning industry, rather than a ceremony and a celebration.

This. Exactly this.
post #645 of 1665
Case in point. Stumbled across this gem on FB today.



Nothing about this screams tasteful to me. It looks like a guy and his friends playing dress-up.
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