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Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread - Page 38

post #556 of 1529
Do a slightly lighter shade of navy, with a buff waistcoat and a sky blue tie.
post #557 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogerC View Post

Do a slightly lighter shade of navy, with a buff waistcoat and a sky blue tie.

 

Sounds nice, thanks!

Like that color http://www.jennysunblog.com/images/content/Blue%203.jpg ?

post #558 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaurus View Post


Mid-grey and blue are just so serious...

I suppose you wouldn't recommend light blue too?

Re: seriousness, that's kind of the point. I can appreciate one liking other colors but the idea is that a wedding is one of the most important days in one's life and the occasion generally demands a certain amount of formality / seriousness if you will. If you are truly dead set against these colors, consider a light grey. It still is best during the summer IMO but is less obviously a summer color. I'd suggest it more as a lesser evil than a true recommendation, but there you go. The other thing to consider is that if you usually would wear a suit in the evening, darker colors are simply more appropriate and look much better. Lighter colors work best during the day and during summer.
post #559 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogerC View Post

Do a slightly lighter shade of navy, with a buff waistcoat and a sky blue tie.

+1. This is a pretty good suggestion.
post #560 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by archibaldleach View Post


Re: seriousness, that's kind of the point. I can appreciate one liking other colors but the idea is that a wedding is one of the most important days in one's life and the occasion generally demands a certain amount of formality / seriousness if you will. If you are truly dead set against these colors, consider a light grey. It still is best during the summer IMO but is less obviously a summer color. I'd suggest it more as a lesser evil than a true recommendation, but there you go. The other thing to consider is that if you usually would wear a suit in the evening, darker colors are simply more appropriate and look much better. Lighter colors work best during the day and during summer.

 

I see it as more of a holiday really :) Celebrating our feelings and now written down unity (sorry for my English I suppose).

From that point of view it should be approached more with joy than with seriousness.

 

But I really appreciate your feedback anyway. I will consider more formal colors very seriously.

Maybe I should think about how it will look in photo album few decades later.

post #561 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by archibaldleach View Post

Re: seriousness, that's kind of the point. I can appreciate one liking other colors but the idea is that a wedding is one of the most important days in one's life and the occasion generally demands a certain amount of formality / seriousness if you will. If you are truly dead set against these colors, consider a light grey. It still is best during the summer IMO but is less obviously a summer color. I'd suggest it more as a lesser evil than a true recommendation, but there you go. The other thing to consider is that if you usually would wear a suit in the evening, darker colors are simply more appropriate and look much better. Lighter colors work best during the day and during summer.

+1 nod[1].gif
post #562 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaurus View Post

Sounds nice, thanks!
Like that color http://www.jennysunblog.com/images/content/Blue%203.jpg ?

Very nice! icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #563 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaurus View Post

I see it as more of a holiday really smile.gif Celebrating our feelings and now written down unity (sorry for my English I suppose).
Maybe I should think about how it will look in photo album few decades later.

Your English is fine.

It's not that blue is serious, it's that it just looks much nicer, and you will look nicer. The blue suit you linked to is really great looking!
post #564 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by becnal View Post


Very nice! icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif

 

Excellent :)

post #565 of 1529

So, my fiance and I are getting married in a few of months. We're having a smallish (65 guests) evening ceremony and dinner/dancing at a local restaurant, which we are renting out for the night.

 

My fiance and I have been at odds about his attire since day one, unfortunately. First, he wanted to wear morning dress to the (fairly informal, evening) wedding, which I thought would not be appropriate. Then he bought an awful suit at Tip Top Tailors (the Canadian version of Men's Warehouse, I think), which would have required substantive alterations to look halfway decent. I'm afraid that I freaked out when I saw it and eventually convinced him to (reluctantly) return it. Eventually, with my help, he chose a dark grey wool three piece suit, which fits wonderfully and only requires minor alterations (hemming, cuff adjustment, and very minor waist suppression). He'll look fantastic in it, and admits that it's a much better suit than the one from TTT. Now, though, he wants to express his individuality by wearing either a very brightly coloured shirt or dark red/burgundy one, and and doesn't want to wear a tie to the ceremony (I'd like him to, though I'm fine with him taking it off for the reception). He also isn't too keen on purchasing dress shoes to wear with the suit (he doesn't own any), though I think I may have convinced him that work boots will not look good at a wedding.

 

So, dudes. Should I make the coloured shirt and tie issues.... issues? I really don't want to be a bridezilla/overbearing partner/etc. He hasn't told me what I should wear to the wedding, and I feel that I should (have) probably do(ne) the same. But I just cringe when I think of him ruining that suit with the kind of shirt that (I know from experience) he has in mind. Is there a compromise here? Can I approach this in a way that won't make him feel henpecked? Or should I just give up?


Edited by dugdalesghost - 7/4/13 at 1:04pm
post #566 of 1529
You know, I think that you can only be a bridezilla if you are "wrong," or being irrational. I think that your requirements are incredibly rational. I think you should henpeck away on this. Maybe make some partial concessions? I mean, a burgundy shirt will look heinous. White or light blue would be infinitely better. If the tie is that much of an issue, do away with that. I mean, I would rather have a white shirt and no tie, than a burgundy shirt and a tie. And work boots are also going to be unfortunate. Maybe the best way to do it is take him somewhere nicer to buy a pair of shoes? I feel like a lot of men who are not interested in these sorts of things just have not been exposed to them.

I went with my parents to New York a few years ago, and we stopped in Leffot. My dad wears flip flops and running shoes every day of his darn life. But you know, going into that store, trying different shoes on, being in a non-pushy environment, etc., really sung to him. He walker out with a pair of cordovan boots, which are his favorite boots that he owns.



If you make it about him, perhaps he will be more willing? And you can always meet him halfway. A pair of Chelseas may be something that he approves?



I think that the best way to go about this is to let him come to his own decision... but with your assistance. I think that you can meet each other halfway.

I do not think I would let it slide though. This clearly means a lot to you, and twenty years from now, do you really want to see him in a burgundy shirt and workboots?
post #567 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by dugdalesghost View Post

My fiance and I have been at odds about his attire since day one, unfortunately. First, he wanted to wear morning dress to the (fairly informal, evening) wedding, which I thought would not be appropriate. Then he bought an awful suit at Tip Top Tailors (the Canadian version of Men's Warehouse, I think), which would have required substantive alterations to look halfway decent. I'm afraid that I freaked out when I saw it and eventually convinced him to (reluctantly) return it. Eventually, with my help, he chose a dark grey wool three piece suit, which fits wonderfully and only requires minor alterations (hemming, cuff adjustment, and very minor waist suppression). He'll look fantastic in it, and admits that it's a much better suit than the one from TTT. Now, though, he wants to express his individuality by wearing either a very brightly coloured shirt or dark red/burgundy one, and and doesn't want to wear a tie to the ceremony (I'd like him to, though I'm fine with him taking it off for the reception). He also isn't too keen on purchasing dress shoes to wear with the suit (he doesn't own any), though I think I may have convinced him that work boots will not look good at a wedding.

Sorry to be blunt, but your fiancé sounds like he lacks any sense of style or propriety. Burgundy shirt? No tie? Work boots? WTF? He wants to express individuality? Then maybe he should stay single. A wedding is the official ceremony where you publicly agree to become more than an individual. And that ceremony deserves, nay, dictates,, that we dress with respect for our spouse to be, our guests, and ourselves. Tell him to grow up and put on a tie and some dress shoes.
post #568 of 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by dugdalesghost View Post

So, dudes. Should I make the coloured shirt and tie issues.... issues? I really don't want to be a bridezilla/overbearing partner/etc. He hasn't told me what I should wear to the wedding, and I feel that I should (have) probably do(ne) the same. But I just cringe when I think of him ruining that suit with the kind of shirt that (I know from experience) he has in mind. Is there a compromise here? Can I approach this in a way that won't make him feel henpecked? Or should I just give up?

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding.

This is a case where your fiancé sounds like he will make awful choices without some intervention. I think this is less a matter of being a bridezilla than saving the man from himself. You're going to have wedding pictures to look at for a very long time and you don't want to cringe every time you look at them. Eventually he'll probably cringe too if he shows up in what he's proposing. There's a correct way to dress for certain types of occasions and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect him to dress appropriately. As far as expressing his individuality, I've never understood why men think wearing an ugly shirt helps them do this. A white or light blue shirt and a conservative tie are things he'll need to own and wear at some point most likely. He might as well start with his own wedding. Same with dress shoes, though I agree that the suggestion to wear some sort of Chelsea boot could be a reasonable compromise.
post #569 of 1529
I agree with all this other advice, and I want to leave one more addition.

Just like with most things in life, there are ways of expressing your individuality while nonetheless remaining within the confines of social expectations. With your wedding attire, you should strive to do that. Favorite color is blue? Wear blue socks, wear a blue tie? Favorite color is burgundy? Same thing. But just because your favorite color is robin's egg blue, does not mean that your suit should be. He is a boot guy? Get him great pair of dress boots. I have to wear a suit to work. I can express myself through the confines of conservative business dress. I cannot, however, wear overalls to work. Same philosophy with a wedding.

Also, just a personal note. I do not understand the idea of "expressing your individuality" at your wedding. Maybe it is just me, but I really do not understand it. Aren't you expressing your individuality by choosing your mate?
post #570 of 1529

Thanks for your replies. I'm relieved that you don't think I'm being unreasonable.

 

Newcomer, I agree that the burgundy/brightly coloured shirt issue is the main concern. Unfortunately, I think that he will be more reluctant to give that idea up than wear a tie or buy new shoes. I like your idea of making it about him, though, and taking him somewhere nice to try a few things on. I really don't want to hurt his feelings any more than they already have been, and would prefer to show him how awesome he would look in a white or light blue shirt, instead of a burgundy one (and have him agree), rather than tell him straight out that he's not wearing a dark, coloured shirt with that suit. 

 

I think that my fiance is, as you say, one of those men who hasn't really been exposed to nicer clothes or ever thought about what he wears very much. He often identifies well-dressed men on the street, in movies, etc, and says how much he admires their style. However, he doesn't really know how to transfer what he admires to his own wardrobe or envision an outfit as a whole. Perhaps next time, I'll take the opportunity to point out that a lot of the men whose clothes he admires are wearing different color combinations than the ones he typically favours.

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