Quote:
Originally Posted by
Augustus Medici 
Is he the real-life Kramer?
Do you mean my pal Greg Kramer, the eminent holstermaker, or the Seinfeld character? I really don't know anything about the latter except he had funny-looking hair.
In any event, I think little flashes of the high points of my life, such as you chaps get here, are far more interesting and entertaining than any coherent narrative. To tell the truth, my life at least for the past 27 1/2 years has been much like that of the Roman matron whose epitaph read: DOMUM MANSIT, LANAM FECIT. ("She stayed home. She spun wool.") For me, much of my life has been spent sitting behind a desk cranking out magazines, which is not the stuff of legend.
I'm certainly no Peter Beard. He roamed Africa and had affairs with supermodels and other celebrity women. I roamed the San Gabriel (and some other SoCal) Mountains extensively. As to celebrity women, the nearest I came to that were affairs with an over-the-hill actress who had had a supporting role in a short-lived sitcom and the erstwhile homecoming queen at a large public university. Most of my amorous adventures were either sordid and squalid adventures with strumpets or fairly mundane liaisons. These days, I fear my sex life is mostly just memories! Actually, prior to being booted out of academia in 1973 at age 31, I'd had comparatively little sexual experience.
Did have some amusing adventures. Given my present dignified, conservative demeanor, people might be surprised to know that I once helped hoist Iggy Pop over the crowd at the Whisky A-Go-Go, for example. This would have been late '73, early '74, I think. Perhaps I can mention some others in appropriate spots in these fora.
I have known a veritable Who's Who of the gun culture down through the years, but that is of almost no interest to anyone not themselves a gun enthusiast.
Just to set the record straight, I can hardly be said to have had a "childhood" in Oz. I left there when I was about six weeks old when my mother took me back to the USA, skirting the Battle of the Coral Sea in the process. She had been living in Java and only went to Australia because she felt the Japanese Imperial armed forces might not be the best company for an eight-months pregnant, recently widowed American girl! She had felt flight would be contemptible, sure that the allied forces would chase the Japanese out of Java in short order, but fortunately wiser heads prevailed upon her to leave. She was always a very tough lady!
I am flattered by the interest, especially from Manton, who has hobnobbed with the greatest in the land, and whose memoirs, I'm sure, would be as much more interesting than mine as his sartorial knowledge exceeds my own.