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Am I Depressed?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

I'd like an outsider's take on my current life situation. I suspect that I'm suffering from some form of depression, but I'm not sure. I'd like to share some details of my life (past and present) with hopes that you can come up with some conclusions as to what I may be going through right now. 


Let me try to explain my past as quickly as possible.


* I'm 30 years old and male.


* I live with my parents.


* I went away for college, did a study abroad year in Europe during my junior year, and lived in Manhattan for 2 years up until 2006.


* I'm very good looking. While living in NY I was signed to a major modeling agency. I also had small speaking roles in 3 studio films.


* I moved back in to my parents home in 2006 and have been there since. I had a huge blowout with my roommate at the time and   was not working fulltime anywhere so I went home and never went back after finding a sublet for my place.


Okay, so that's a quick history of my life. I'm home now and haven't worked full time in 3 years. The work that I have done is manual labor related and given to me on a freelance basis from a family friend. This work has not been consistent over the years plus I hate it. I also haven't had a girlfriend or sex in general in those 3 years. I have engaged in oral sex on 3 occasions via girls I met on Craigslist or OKCupid. 


Some more current day facts. I rarely go out on the weekends. I'm really only friends with one kid from high school who still lives in my area and I am no longer in touch with college friends. (I had a shitty college experience so it's no surprise that I'm not tight with anyone that I partied with during that time period.) 


I walk for two hours each morning in my neighborhood outside. The walking is what I would call a fast pace but not a jog or run. I haven't been to a gym in 4 years. Fitness was once a big part of my life and from ages 18 - 25 I was in great shape. I still look good but I've lost most muscle and am not as cut as I used to be. (But still lean.)


Because I rarely hook up I masturbate about once a day. The lack of job or friends has really stopped me from meeting women. (Hence the rare hookups from the internet.) 


I have refrained from seriously seeking a full time or even part time job for reasons I cannot comprehend. I have a solid resume that includes a college degree from a private 4 year school along with good references and experience in a variety of fields. I'm a fast typer and a good interviewer with an outgoing and warm personality. 


And yet, here I am. I know what I need to do. I need to find a full time job and start living. And I'm planning on doing that. I'm just curious why I've lived the way I have these past 3 or 4 years. 


Some other details. In general, in my normal state, I honestly don't feel depressed. I just know things needs to change immediately. 


I'm somewhat heavy in debt. Despite having few living expenses I have accumulated a chunk of debt from a few trips to Europe, some clothing and computer purchases, and stuff like that. I have enough in my savings to pay off the minimum on my credit cards for about six more months. 


Lastly, I go days at a time without shaving. Usually 5 or 6. This is something I never did before. It's almost like everything feels like a huge effort. Or at least with shaving I only get to it when it starts to bother me. Perhaps if I had a corporate job I would be more likely to shave every morning. 


So, the obvious answers are that I need a job, I need to save, I need to pay off my debt, and I need to start living again. I'm fully aware of that. I'd like answers beyond that. I'm really not hiding any other facts so I'd like your take given everything you know. 


One last thing. I know some of you are going to say that I need to move out of my parents place asap. Girls don't like it, it's weird, etc. While that is all true to some extent, I'd feel more comfortable living at home until all my debt is paid off. I honestly have no desire to get married anytime soon. Even if I met an amazing girl, I'm very traditional and would never live with her until marriage, so keep that in mind. I do of course want to live on my own again in the future. Just not until I have paid off my debt. 


So that's me. I'd appreciate any advice or feedback. Thank you.

post #2 of 12
You dont sound depressed to me...just lazy.
post #3 of 12
You sound depressed. From what I can tell (not being a specialist) depression is just like that: not a particular state of mind but merely lack of interests and affections.

Did you try to apply to jobs after college? Why did your college experience suck?
Edited by Jamesgatz - 12/30/12 at 12:42am
post #4 of 12
given the frequency of similar, legitimate threads, im guessing this one is a troll
post #5 of 12
I'm not reading any sxs of depression besides maybe poor self care. Seems like a large percent of your generation is sort of stuck in an extended adolescence and that sounds more fitting than a mood disorder.
post #6 of 12
Originally Posted by Alfred4 View Post

I think you are not depressed. Its just your imagination. Depression is nothing. Its just our own creation so try to be happy and don't be lazy. Depression is not good for physical and mental health so avoid it.

This is just beyond all accounts, WRONG.

Please don't spread this kind of filth.
post #7 of 12
You need to get your act together. Go see a pastor or a therapist. If you are even mildly religious, go with the pastor.
I'd heavily recommend against taking medication, as you might end up shooting up an elementary school and committing suicide.
post #8 of 12
I didn't read but to be honest if you have to ask I doubt you are. You may be "sad" in the moment or whatever but not depressed.
post #9 of 12

Depression is a rather divisive subject.

I personally disagree with those who want to medicate all unmotivated people into being, well, more motivated, as that has led to some of the worst tragedies of the last decade, and many smaller tragedies. Sometimes being motivated means being motivated to end it all (as opposed to not even caring to commit suicide, which is quite horrible, mind you).

However, I also think that saying that depressed people should just get over it is extremely careless. Yes, what the OP described is pretty much how depression looks like. Just because it seems morally wrong and lazy doesn't mean that one doesn't need help. Most people in depression need the help of others. Not in the form of drugs, but in the form of conversations, in creating a rhythm of life, in experiencing genuine emotions and being involved in the act of living.

If one cannot get this from their families, then I think the next best thing is someone who is trained to help people with emotional and psychological trouble.

post #10 of 12

I'm in a similar situation.  I see a fairly simple solution though, why not get back into modeling?  This will motivate you to follow a regimen and regain the discipline and structure you want and need in your life. 

post #11 of 12

Well, try to change some your habits. For example, you can try making friends and take part in many social clubs, so you will meet and talk to many other people who have the same hobby with you. You will never feel boring and depressing any more

post #12 of 12

Hi Mike,

I will advice you to engage yourself in any physical activity as it will not only makes you active and healthy but also prevent you from major health disease. Regular physical activities will lower cholesterol, reduce high blood pressure and prevent you from depression, obesity, stroke, cardiovascular disease, certain types of cancer and diabetes.

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