I'll be 30 in a couple of years and it's kind of freaking me out. I don't feel like I've achieved much in my life and I feel I need to be immensely successful to be truly happy. I grew up in a low income household and relative to that, I've done well for myself. Some statistics about me:
1.I live in San Francisco as an engineer and make roughly 100k(enough to live comfortably as a single person, but definitely not rich)
2.I'm single, rarely had a girlfriend(date girls more), never had a serious girlfriend.
3.My interests are sports, technology, and sociology.
I find that the older I get, the more negative I feel about others. I find myself becoming less and less patient with other people - I don't know if I'm just becoming more of an asshole or if there are more and more stupid people or people with attitude problems.
I also noticed that after college, it's almost impossible to make friends. Even the friends I have from high school and college, I don't know if I can depend on them no matter what. Ever seen that movie Good Will Hunting? The guy had friends that would stand with him rain or shine. I wonder if there are even people like that in real life. I find most people don't have the balls and integrity to stand up for their friends or even themselves sometimes.
Growing up was tough. I grew up in an abusive and poor household. I didn't accomplish any of the things I wanted to. It still haunts me to this day that I didn't make the all american team in high school. And I'm still not really achieving much. Most of my friends are more successful than me in their careers. I think it was so hard growing up mainly because we lacked money. So I feel like I have to make at least 200k a year by the time I'm 40 to not be depressed when I reach that age.
When I talk to others about it noone can relate. They tell me "you're a good looking guy, financially independent, have a great education. Things are great!" But I don't feel that way. I feel awfully average and my point is that I cannot be average because I grew up with less than average.
I know it's weird posting this on a style board but I read enough posts to know there are a lot of successful people here so I'm interested in hearing what they have to say.