or we could not tell people what we want to receive and let people research our posts and online presence and come up with their own fun package that they think we might like.
If you have a specific set of things you want, you should just go out and find a way to buy them yourself. It sounds like you're setting yourself up for disappointment with these requests and expectations. Not at all the spirit of a Secret Santa type event.
Yes I realize making a post saying "I don't want clothing" will help the partner in coming up with a package, but I'm trying to say that overall attitude towards this that some people seem to be taking is a bit weird.