Diet Will Power Question - Please Help

Short answer: Try a less stringent diet and gradually lower calories? Long answer: You seem to be pretty frank about using eating as a coping mechanism. That's great. However life is never going to be without its bumps, especially when just starting a new diet. You need some new coping mechanisms, like smoking or drinking - just kidding - consider counselling, probably as a couple, or joining a support group to learn new coping mechanisms and ensure neither of you enables the other. Anyway, congratulations for taking the first step!

make gradual changes, dont go cold turkey all at once, you are guaranteed to fail. start off simple like dont order fries next time you go to have a burger. or just get a half diet half coke. then gradually go to diet and then later you will notice , heck why dont i just drink a tea or water with lemon instead of a soda?

you can tell yourself do i need this extra helping? i know all of this may not make sense at first as it did to me or it may sound trite, but gradual habitual changes in diet is the way to go and you will find yourself more easily able to make further changes as you see results (not in body or visible results) but in successes in being able to take command and control your body and psychological successes.

try getting involved with a group of people somewhere doing something really exciting or (not to say you dont have a hobby) but pick up a recreation, it may be bargain shopping and doing ebay. or it may be learning chess. something that keeps you engaged, when not at work or at sleep or with significant other, maybe you can spend that hobby with significant other who knows.

that hobby device is also a way (for me) to keep my mind off of boredom hence eating. i find when my mind is preoccupied with something engaging : planning the camp trip for next week, making a big sale on ebay, gotta go to that seminar tonite at 6, meeting some new people, getting together with people you know for something exciting, that makes me just view the meal or eating as just a meal to get me going to the next. i certainly enjoy the food, but i dont feel interested in a second helping if i had enough the first.
keep your mind engaged with these things and it will slowly alter your view of food from the "whole pie" to just a slice of the pie in your daily life.

Use ephedrine. Annihilates appetite. At least for me.

Diet alone won't cut it. You need to get more active. I would sign up at a good gym, find a personal trainer/nutritionist you are comfortable with (in fact, interview with potential trainers before choosing which gym to sign up with, assuming you have choices), formulate a diet and exercise regime with the trainer that will get you to your target weight at a realistic pace. You will find that regular exercise will reduce stress level tremendously, helping you cope with life's tribulations. Having a personal trainer will help keep you from cheating and help keep you on track. It costs money, of course, but I think its worth it. Good luck.

+1

In my experience, increased physical activity is vital to sustained weight loss. Having worked as a nutritionist for the past 15 years, I've realized that dieting alone is not an effective way to get good long-term results. My philosophy is first to rev up your metabolism by kicking up your physical activity level. Then try to create some balance in your diet (a dietitian or Weight Watchers can help you with this) and finally deal with the issue of emotional eating. A lot of us eat due to other reasons than hunger (i.e. stress, boredom, etc.) As Stax mentioned, dealing with those issues through other positive activities will help you curb your overeating tendencies.

Also, try to get your wife to "buy in" to any approach you decide to take. I often see how significant others can unintentionally or intentionally "sabotage" a person's effort to lead a healthier life.

Best of luck and take it one day at a time - you have the rest of your life to reach and maintain your goals. Just the fact that you have started to make positive changes is major step in the right direction.

I agree absolutely with the past few posts about the importance of exercise particularly cardiovascular exercise. Brisk walking can lead to jogging and running and you will find that your metabolism will change and you will not want to eat nearly as much, and you will crave healthier foods. At least that's how it has worked for me. Four times a week 40 minutes a time.
Also, do some weight training and as you start to feel and see some definition in your body this adds to motivation.

I too agree that exercise must become part of your lifestyle. Also, more than anything, you must WANT to lose that weight. Hunger pains must be dealt with by all of us. Many people assume that slender types just don't care about food. Not always the case. We've just chosen to limit our intake, and to exercise in order not to gain too much. It isn't easy. Until I turned 38 or so, I could consume sugar, carbs, eat late at night . . . no gain. Not so, now. At 51, I eat perhaps a third of what I ate, at 31. And I exercise regularly. Otherwise I'd be a hundred pounds overweight, easy.
Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

To add to the many good points, you need to consume at least 20g of protein every few hours. Fiber also slows down digestion. That keeps you feeling full. With the intended last meal of the day, it's especially important. In addition, drink plenty of water, for it speeds up metabolism and fulfills hydration and energy needs that people often unnecessarily seek from calories. Or if you hate it that much, drink green tea instead. Finally, get adequate sleep.

Well, my closest experience with this was quitting smoking cold turkey. All I can say is, it's will power. You just don't do it. There was no trick, you just don't do it no matter how badly you want to. I know that's not terribly beneficial, but I don't think there's much more to it than that. Try the things that have been suggested; beyond that, at some point it just comes down to saying "no" to yourself, for as long as necessary. Eventually it will get easier, until then, accept that life is going to suck for a while.

If you have an addiction I think you should go to Overeaters Anonymous. You can't break an addiction with willpower or just 'making a decision' and you can get all the information on the planet about every diet there is but they still won't work. There are no tricks to beating any addiction. It WILL kill you.

For short term distractions, chew gum or brush your teeth. Nobody wants to eat right after they brush their teeth.

That's clearly not true. There's a number of people even on this forum that have lost hundreds of pounds due to willpower.