It isn't that the thread idea is terrible; you can see from my first post on it that I bothered to respond seriously. But your deliberately elevated language, worsened in subsequent posts, is ridiculous and probably is what evoked the cynical and mocking replies.
And now to the heart of the matter:
I have no cat, so I cannot ask her.
I have no dog, so I cannot ask him.
My friends are all nudists,
so I cannot ask them.
So I ask the clothes on my back
and they reply with one word:
EDIT: I lied. They didn't stop there. After responding to my query, they proceeded to insult my mother and her ancestry for several minutes before their tirade deteriorated into mumbles and finally incoherence; presumably they fell into a drunken stupor. I know not why they would do such a thing. Perhaps they considered my question imbecilic.
Edited by Claghorn - 10/4/12 at 11:49am