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Wedding Attire Advice

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone,

 

I’m getting married next year and have just started to consider what I will wear. The good news is that it’s still a year away, so I have time to consider various options. The bad news is that my fiancée has some relatively strong opinions about the matter, which makes things a little trickier. As a result, I was hoping to get a couple of opinions on what my best course of action may be.

 

I’ve spent some time reading through many of the wedding-related threads on SF, which have reinforced some of my concerns. My first thought was to go with something like a midnight (navy) blue suit and a long tie (with the usual wedding accoutrements). However, my fiancée is of the opinion that the groom and groomsmen should be wearing black. She also pointed out that my groomsmen already have black suits (which is true), so it would simplify things for them. I suggested that they could wear black and I could wear a slightly different colour, but she was lukewarm on that idea. I also asked her what she thought about a black tux, but she is not a fan of bowties, so it would have to be a tux with a long tie (which I understand is probably a no-no).

 

At the end of the day, if she really wants a black suit, I’m perfectly fine with that. However, it would mean that I either rent something (which I would rather avoid if possible), or buy a black suit (which I would probably get very little use out of going forward). A black tux would be something I wouldn’t mind having in my wardrobe, but I just don’t know if it would work if I wore it without a bowtie. In terms of budget, I’m willing to spend some decent money ($1000-$1500), but only if it’s something that I would actually use post-wedding. If it was something that I would really only wear once, then I would probably want to pay half that at the very most. Any thoughts/ideas?

 

To provide a little background, the wedding will be taking place in mid-October (of next year), and the ceremony will be at 5:00pm. At that time of year in Toronto, the sun will probably set around 6:30pm.

 

Thanks in advance, and sorry for yet another wedding thread!

post #2 of 42
I don't really have any constructive advice to give you, but you seem like you'll make a nice husband. Too bad your fiancee has so many strong/terrible opinions.
post #3 of 42
Tell her if all the groomsmen have to wear black and you do too then the bridesmaids should all wear white. If she gets mad don't marry her. If you still decide to marry her, go with the midnight blue suit.
post #4 of 42

Tell her she can dictate what you wear if you get to pick out the wedding dress. Maybe that will help her to understand how ridiculous her demands are.

post #5 of 42
How amenable might she be to reading a treatise on the subject by a reputed expert?
post #6 of 42

Well, ultimately black may come in handy for the future. Think of the possibilities...other weddings. And funerals.

 

You never know when you'll need to go to a funeral ;)

post #7 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Singlemalt View Post

Well, ultimately black may come in handy for the future. Think of the possibilities...other weddings. And funerals.

You never know when you'll need to go to a funeral wink.gif

Dark charcoal for a funeral.
post #8 of 42

I know too well the intents of the bride and having to tiptoe the line between traditional wedding dress, all aspects whether formal or informal, and what the bride wants, contrary to conventions of dress but most importantly what will make her happy . See my thread titled: "Wedding Accessories". I eventually had to make a concession and wear a white tie despite objecting and trying to educate her on the matter.

 

I would say a charcoal or midnight blue suit will set you apart from the rest of the groomsmen, especially if it is three pieces. I would say this, any schmuck can put a suit on, but to wear a suit that fits well and be conscious of the details will set you apart. Everything should be a conscious decision. Suit design, collar spread, collar height, cuff type, tie, tie knot, pocket square fabric, pocket square fold...

 

The devil is in the details. Focus on those details and people may not notice them individually but you will be providing their subconscious clues that they are important.

post #9 of 42
The modern American wedding has facilitated a population of bridezillas. I hide the FB feeds of friends who are planning weddings; the whole ordeal is gross.
post #10 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by random-adam View Post

How amenable might she be to reading a treatise on the subject by a reputed expert?

Good find! Just whatever you, OP, decide to do, do NOT buy "The Ask Andy Wedding Guide" advertised energetically at the bottom of the page in the link above... wink.gif
post #11 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by pocketsquareguy View Post


Dark charcoal for a funeral.

 

Until its at Japan or its former colonies.  And Japan is one of the countries with PM/Cabinet members still wearing morning dress for formal functions...

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Firefox View Post

Hi everyone,

 

I’m getting married next year and have just started to consider what I will wear. The good news is that it’s still a year away, so I have time to consider various options. The bad news is that my fiancée has some relatively strong opinions about the matter, which makes things a little trickier. As a result, I was hoping to get a couple of opinions on what my best course of action may be.

 

I’ve spent some time reading through many of the wedding-related threads on SF, which have reinforced some of my concerns. My first thought was to go with something like a midnight (navy) blue suit and a long tie (with the usual wedding accoutrements). However, my fiancée is of the opinion that the groom and groomsmen should be wearing black. She also pointed out that my groomsmen already have black suits (which is true), so it would simplify things for them. I suggested that they could wear black and I could wear a slightly different colour, but she was lukewarm on that idea. I also asked her what she thought about a black tux, but she is not a fan of bowties, so it would have to be a tux with a long tie (which I understand is probably a no-no).

 

At the end of the day, if she really wants a black suit, I’m perfectly fine with that. However, it would mean that I either rent something (which I would rather avoid if possible), or buy a black suit (which I would probably get very little use out of going forward). A black tux would be something I wouldn’t mind having in my wardrobe, but I just don’t know if it would work if I wore it without a bowtie. In terms of budget, I’m willing to spend some decent money ($1000-$1500), but only if it’s something that I would actually use post-wedding. If it was something that I would really only wear once, then I would probably want to pay half that at the very most. Any thoughts/ideas?

 

To provide a little background, the wedding will be taking place in mid-October (of next year), and the ceremony will be at 5:00pm. At that time of year in Toronto, the sun will probably set around 6:30pm.

 

Thanks in advance, and sorry for yet another wedding thread!

 

PM'ed you about a tux.

post #12 of 42
I should add that making the argument that you'd like to look different from the groomsmen is a valid one, but unfortunately most people (outside of this forum which is 99.9% male) will tell you "it's HER day" so tread very gently.

As for tux and tie - indeed, not the most correct approach but done frequently these days. It can look good and it would be a definitie step above black suit.

Congratulations, btw! smile.gif
post #13 of 42
I am also in the proccess of aquiring my wedding clothes and have dealt with sililar quandries, albeit absent of any stringent direction from my fiance.

Ultimately my choice was between a tux or a navy suit. I went with the latter as I feel it will be more useful in the future. In my opinion, if you wear a tux, then so should your groomsmen, the brides father, and frankely all of the other male guests as well. This modern American invention of the tuxedo wedding uniform if really very strange. Tuxedos are a reflection of the formality of their environment, so there is really little reason for some to wear one, but not others.

The point of appearing different from your groomsmen is a valid one, and should be explained to your fiance. She should umderstand this without all that much convincing. If you match your groomsmen exactly, then in reality, your fiance will simply be flanked by bridesmaids on one side and groomsmen on the other with no groom in sight.
post #14 of 42
Thread Starter 

Thanks for all of the great feedback (and well-wishes) everyone!smile.gif

 

I did previously read the AA "wedding attire" treatise that was linked above, and it guided some of my original thinking towards a midnight blue suit. I did explain to my fiancee that a midnight blue suit can look almost as "black" as an actual black suit. I also like the idea of peaked lapels and a vest to make it more formal, yet still appropriate for post-wedding use. I agree that wearing a tux would seem out of place if the rest of the men in the wedding party weren't wearing it as well.

 

Perhaps I'll spend some time with Google images (or, even better, a trip to a menswear store) to try to illustrate to her how good a dark blue suit would actually look. I think that she may be worried that it would be too casual or businesslike, but with the proper accesories and details, that certainly wouldn't be the case.

post #15 of 42
There is a wedding website called theknot that women love. I would suggest that you go on there, find some pics that you like of wedding apparel for men and present them to your bride to be. She may have greater respect for the source than simple Google images. Good luck!
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