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People with kids - do you regret it? - Page 2

post #16 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDFS View Post

It's only been less than a year, but I don't regret it at all. Getting to know the person he is becoming is a great experience. Being, or trying to be, good parents is rewarding. I also appreciate his mother more than before by watching her interact with him. There are drawbacks, of course. Money is thighter than it would have otherwise been. Time is thighter still. For instance, being sick (flue, fever, norro, etc.) is no longer as 'fun' as I remember. No longer can I enjoy my own missery for a couple of days while in the meantime catch up with reading and watch some TV. There's always something to do.
We smile a lot, though.
By the way, I don't think I dislike other people's children as HderH does, but I do think their presence is death to all social events except children's birthday parties. I've mellowed on this though, and in the last couple of years more and more of my friends got children and they have some cool kids. The best time to have kids, then, is when you're already surrounded by them, anyway.smile.gif

You hit on something that I've often considered. I am terrible when I'm sick. I realize that most people aren't fun to be around when they're sick, but I truly feel like I'm entirely immobile. My wife gets this and knows how to manage me. I'm a bit worried when kids pop into the picture and I imagine a scene where I'm attempting to care for children while I'm sick. I may be a bit self-centered in this respect. My wife and I were sick at the same time last year for the first time that I remember. It was the coldest week of the winter and I can remember having to take the dog out for walks. He tolerated our illness and understood to a degree, but it still haunts me. << Definitely some room to improve in this aspect of my life. smile.gif

As far as not liking others' children, I can't really defend it. I tolerate them and I know two kids whose company I do enjoy, though they're 13 and 15 by now. I have to say that being around teenagers makes me feel both old and guilty. Old as their thoughts/ideas remind me of how I was and guilty for putting my parents through the hell of teenage years.

I can say that I have a huge amount of respect for polite children. Whenever a child says something nice or behaves well in public, I want to shower the parents with gifts. I understand how hard it must be to instill these behaviors in children/teenagers and I can say that from my point of view, the payoff is huge!
post #17 of 48
I wonder what my generation and younger are going to do in middle age. I have a bunch of friends who are dual-income, no children, atheist couples who are not involved in charity, and not all that inspired by their work. I couldn't live my life without some sort of purpose, be it through religion, children, charity, or an inspiring job. If you don't have any of those, I wonder what life is going to be like when you're fifty.
post #18 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan View Post

I wonder what my generation and younger are going to do in middle age. I have a bunch of friends who are dual-income, no children, atheist couples who are not involved in charity, and not all that inspired by their work. I couldn't live my life without some sort of purpose, be it through religion, children, charity, or an inspiring job. If you don't have any of those, I wonder what life is going to be like when you're fifty.

Not fifty yet but can see it on the horizon. If it all plays out I'm going to say 50 with none of those things listed will be just like it is now, i.e. not bad. YMMV.
post #19 of 48
My kid was born when I was 23, and I was totally not ready. I've been to hell and back for her and never once regretted it.
post #20 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan View Post

I wonder what my generation and younger are going to do in middle age. I have a bunch of friends who are dual-income, no children, atheist couples who are not involved in charity, and not all that inspired by their work. I couldn't live my life without some sort of purpose, be it through religion, children, charity, or an inspiring job. If you don't have any of those, I wonder what life is going to be like when you're fifty.

50 is the least of your problems. At 50, you're still working, relatively fit, have tons of things to occupy your time and if you've done things right, hopefully a fair amount of disposable income. I met a German couple in the patagonia region of argentina that had vistited over 100 countries together. They were 65 and very active. A few years earlier they had done a 6 week hike through Nepal with a yak.

It's later that I think you probably NEED kids more. My grandparents regularly get help from their grandkids for various things. They have regular company to keep them occupied, otherwise they just sleep and watch tv a lot. I enjoy my solitude but I couldn't imagine doing the stretch from 70-90 having nobody but a wife (assuming not divorced).

And when you're dying, which could be quick or have you in the hospital months or more? Definitely nice to have family around.

The whole having kids thing is a rather selfish act, when you think about it, even if they're a drain on your resources.
post #21 of 48
I am really tough on other people's kids, although there are a lot that I like, it really depends on the kids. I really love hanging out with 5-10 families with their kids, if everyone is cool. we do that kind of thing a lot.

I have a reputation for being mean to bad kids, or impolite kids, or stupid kids, but it makes my life easier, and in the long run it is good for those kids to have a little adult direction.
post #22 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by HansderHund View Post

You hit on something that I've often considered. I am terrible when I'm sick. I realize that most people aren't fun to be around when they're sick, but I truly feel like I'm entirely immobile. My wife gets this and knows how to manage me. I'm a bit worried when kids pop into the picture and I imagine a scene where I'm attempting to care for children while I'm sick. I may be a bit self-centered in this respect. My wife and I were sick at the same time last year for the first time that I remember. It was the coldest week of the winter and I can remember having to take the dog out for walks. He tolerated our illness and understood to a degree, but it still haunts me. << Definitely some room to improve in this aspect of my life. smile.gif
As far as not liking others' children, I can't really defend it. I tolerate them and I know two kids whose company I do enjoy, though they're 13 and 15 by now. I have to say that being around teenagers makes me feel both old and guilty. Old as their thoughts/ideas remind me of how I was and guilty for putting my parents through the hell of teenage years.
I can say that I have a huge amount of respect for polite children. Whenever a child says something nice or behaves well in public, I want to shower the parents with gifts. I understand how hard it must be to instill these behaviors in children/teenagers and I can say that from my point of view, the payoff is huge!


this is the biggest thing - you always have to deal with the kids, no matter what happens. you are sick, you have trouble at work, anything, the kids come first. but such is life
post #23 of 48
I don't think that it's selfish. I mean, without kids, society doesn't go on.

I love my kids. I am now 38, had a stepson when I was 30, and then went onto have 3 more, starting when I was 33. Honestly, by that time, I had had plenty of time to travel, chase women, pursue all sorts of crazy hobbies, and prove things to myself. I have a pretty decent living, and I'll say that that is a blessing. I still get to get nice things, and travel some, though these days, it's mostly for work. I'd really rather be home teaching my daughters and toddler son useful things like why The Muppets is actually a very clever movie, proper handwriting technique, and how to punch, kick, and choke effectively. And, you know, playing ball around the house, because the wife/mom loves that.

Since I live in the middle of nowhere, I make sure to take my kids to cities on a fairly regular basis, and I'll take them to decent restaurants. I've always liked kids, and kids are a natural part of society. I think that trying to segregate them from "adult" things is unhealthy. (On a tangential note, some yuppie douchebag came to my table at a restaurant fairly recently, and started berating my kids, so I dragged him out of the restaurant and threw him a $10 so that he could get himself a Big Mac meal. The problem with a lot of people in the UMC is that they don't know how to stfu and keep their opinions to themselves, because they think that the world is so fucking safe for them.)

On occasion, I think how baller I could be if I didn't have to pay for childcare, school, dance, gymnastics, cello, and swim classes, college funds, etc... but tbh, I'm not sure that I'd want to be that baller anyway, and it certainly wouldn't fill up my life the good way children do. (Of course, they are pains in the ass sometimes, but that's to be expected.)

As for the mess, meh. Everything clean and tidy and in its place is highly overrated anyway. I'd rather have energy and chaos.
post #24 of 48
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post #25 of 48
Can't wait to have kids.
post #26 of 48
I think the only difference in my lifestyle before and after having kids is I now get shitfaced on weeknights, rather than weekends.
post #27 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post

I think the only difference in my lifestyle before and after having kids is I now get shitfaced on weeknights, rather than weekends.

And you mean that literally, right?
post #28 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

And you mean that literally, right?

with jaime, sometimes smile.gif
post #29 of 48
We waited 3 years after we were married before we had kids which helped me be more ready. We had the chance to travel a bit, enjoy being newlyweds etc. before having kids. Now I can't imagine my life without them. Sure, I'd have more money and more time to myself but the unconditional love I get from my kids makes every crappy day at work and every disappointment that happens bearable. It's not always easy but I would definitely do it all over again.
post #30 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by topcatny View Post

Now I can't imagine my life without them. Sure, I'd have more money and more time to myself but the unconditional love I get from my kids makes every crappy day at work and every disappointment that happens bearable. It's not always easy but I would definitely do it all over again.

This, and I'd like to say that it's also the unconditional love you feel for your kids as well - nothing like it.
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