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Relationships during your early 20s

post #1 of 18
9/6/12 at 12:39am
Thread Starter 

Is there really any point to this?

 

At least in hetero relationships, It seems most women AND men around this age bracket are always only looking to be in a relationship for the following reasons

1. for the sake of it

2. fear of loneliness

3. using someone as an emotional crutch

4. to feel mature

5. social status

 

Has it been different for the other younger SFers? Is it more or less the same as one gets older?

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post #2 of 18
9/6/12 at 2:10am
this is an incredibly bleak and depressing point of view, almost seems like the way an autistic person would think.

what if you just enjoy someone else's company, both physically and mentally?
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post #3 of 18
9/6/12 at 2:23am
Why do you need a purpose or end-goal? It could be that you like someone, want to be close to them and things naturally take their course, which leads into an exclusive relationship.

It's not like you sit down over coffee with a notepad and weigh the pros and cons of officially considering yourself a couple. Or do you?
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post #4 of 18
9/6/12 at 3:04am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post

this is an incredibly bleak and depressing point of view, almost seems like the way an autistic person would think.
what if you just enjoy someone else's company, both physically and mentally?

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian SD View Post

Why do you need a purpose or end-goal? It could be that you like someone, want to be close to them and things naturally take their course, which leads into an exclusive relationship.
It's not like you sit down over coffee with a notepad and weigh the pros and cons of officially considering yourself a couple. Or do you?

 

That's what I'm saying, all I'm looking for is for someone who I can hang out with and talk to sometimes, have sex with, and is capable of respecting my independence and solitude. Likewise I would do the same for them.

 

However it seems that a lot of girls that I know have preconceived notions on what a relationship should be like, and expectations of what 'the man' should do and what 'the woman' should do. 

Maybe I should just hang out with different people...

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post #5 of 18
9/6/12 at 10:55am
If anything you need them to learn from them so when you are finally ready to settle down a few years later you aren't a completely inept partner and waste years learning with the opposite sex's quirks.
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post #6 of 18
9/6/12 at 11:59pm

People in their 20s are mostly immature and insecure, and self-centered, I guess this may be just the way it is, but not necessarily I reckon. 

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post #7 of 18
9/8/12 at 7:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by imunique View Post

People in their 20s are mostly immature and insecure, and self-centered, I guess this may be just the way it is, but not necessarily I reckon. 
Pretty much. I don't think anyone can look back at every relationship they had in their early twenties and say they didn't act like immaturely at some point. Feelsbadman.jpg but as long as you learn from it and don't repeat the same mistakes it's worth it.
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post #8 of 18
9/11/12 at 3:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by YOLO EMSHI View Post

Is there really any point to this?

At least in hetero relationships, It seems most women AND men around this age bracket are always only looking to be in a relationship for the following reasons
1. for the sake of it
2. fear of loneliness
3. using someone as an emotional crutch
4. to feel mature
5. social status

Has it been different for the other younger SFers? Is it more or less the same as one gets older?

After 30 , you're too buzy to search for love combined with a serious drop in men's libido , you are ready to settle..

That's the main difference..
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post #9 of 18
9/11/12 at 11:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by YOLO EMSHI View Post

Is there really any point to this?

At least in hetero relationships, It seems most women AND men around this age bracket are always only looking to be in a relationship for the following reasons
1. for the sake of it
2. fear of loneliness
3. using someone as an emotional crutch
4. to feel mature
5. social status

Has it been different for the other younger SFers? Is it more or less the same as one gets older?

6. Sex.
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post #10 of 18
9/11/12 at 11:42am
First, I want to tell you Mark I is a known relationship expert, so take his advice very seriously.

Second, Harvey has given you a very valid sixth point. I would like to add a few more:

7) If you talk nice to her, she'll buy you all kinds of shit, from drinks to paying your rent
8) Make sure she has a nice car. Not only will she drive you places, she'll let you borrow it, and even pay for the gas
9) Sex.
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post #11 of 18
9/11/12 at 12:14pm

Haha as bleak as that may seem, being in your 20s you need to go out there and explore. There are 2 billion people on this earth. I feel like if you settled now who knows what you're missing out on. Although on the other side of things if you find a person you love and they love you equally stay in it! But you have to understand if you aren't happy and should leave.

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post #12 of 18
9/11/12 at 12:19pm
There are even more than 2 billion people on this earth if you include the rest of the world outside of SE Asia as part of it.
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post #13 of 18
9/11/12 at 12:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by reyesjanise View Post

Haha as bleak as that may seem, being in your 20s you need to go out there and explore. There are 2 billion people on this earth. I feel like if you settled now who knows what you're missing out on. Although on the other side of things if you find a person you love and they love you equally stay in it! But you have to understand if you aren't happy and should leave.

Uh, you're missing out on the other five billion people. Duh.
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post #14 of 18
9/11/12 at 1:00pm
Maybe he's a time traveler from 1927. Or he only counts white people or something.
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post #15 of 18
9/11/12 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian SD View Post

Why do you need a purpose or end-goal? It could be that you like someone, want to be close to them and things naturally take their course, which leads into an exclusive relationship.
It's not like you sit down over coffee with a notepad and weigh the pros and cons of officially considering yourself a couple. Or do you?

+1

Not everyone wants a reputation of being a slut.
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