Reasons Why LA Sucks - Page 6

the la river down by where i live in long beach is pretty cool, too. i'm right where the concrete bottom turns soft. we've got a sea lion that comes up every winter. his name is waldo. we also have an amazing variety of bird life -- pelicans, cormorants, great blue herons, egrets, osprey, kingfishers, canada geese ... all 2 blocks from my house.

and then there's the bear that was hanging out behind the trader joe's in altadena.
we've got coyotes down here, too. they walk down the center of the street, bold as brass.
and one night i came home after a, uhm, "late" dinner and found a couple of peacocks sitting up on top of my neighbor's house. i thought it was just me until i said something the next morning and confirmed that, no, i hadn't hallucinated it.

be careful of the sea lion, those fuckers can be vicious.

you ought to see that guy when he catches a mullet! it's like wild kingdom.

But do you have seagulls there?

That story still cracks me up.

yes, and the sparrows are very, VERY fast.

The eye candy can be very impressive along the beach towns.

Anyway, I asked what machine the barista was using because it was one of those plexiglass jobs that let you look inside at the crappy, low-tech dusty wiring (in contrast to the shiny chrome exterior, espresso machines are really low-tech and ugly on the inside), and the barista (clad in #menswear) proceeded to lecture me on how they require 6 months of intensive training before they can properly pull a shot.

The seating in that place is also pretty lacking as the whole place seems to be designed to around having two lines for coffee with the baristas in the middle of everything: the space is saying to you, "Worship our baristas, and get out of our store after you've paid."

About a week ago, after listening to a ridiculous and unsolicted description of the days single origin espresso I look the barista right in the eyes and said "I just the one that tastes like cum".Lets just say it was a show stopper.

but thats because of all the transplants. us born and raised angelenos have learned to handle the non desirables. 

 

I personally find l.a. to be the most versatile city in the country. spoiled by weather, beaches, etc. not every beach sucks. laguna beach is killer, newport is always fun, and hermosa beach can get insane. you're not even limited to just l.a., you have so much to choose from. yes, transportation, traffic, everything being spread out sucks. the summers suck. but thats about it. you dont like the people? you're doing something wrong or you're not surrounding yourself around the right people. economically, everything costs about the same as anywhere else in the country. our nightlife is awesome if you know where to look. yes things close at 2, but there are plenty after hours and speakeasies. 

now, if you're trying to wife someone and have a nice house and domesticated life, you may be disappointed, but it can happen. 

plus you can surf and ski in the same day!

there isn't a serious intellectual culture in LA.

aaaand go!