I would pretty much second Dopey's advice to the OP. As far as I am concerned, wearing a formal ascot with morning dress just screams "douche-y costume geek." I know. I wore one to my second wedding, and that's just what I looked like!
I very much like casual ascots (what the British call "day cravats"). I've got 31 at this time and wear them with great frequency. However, I would certainly not wear one to a wedding, much too casual.
No way. I just said "day cravat" and even had it in quotes, before reading your post. Meant to be? But more seriously (although, what I just said was serious) I take that advice very well, as you attempted both the formal ascot and day cravat with sincere interest, and you (like I, but probably a lot better than I) wear a day cravat with frequency as I tend to love to do with my linen bandana. Very refreshing to hear I'm not alone in this practice (again, admittedly with less practice, purpose, and profession than you probably do).