Are ascots synonymous for a**hole?

I have a wedding coming up this weeking (attending, not hitching) and have always wanted to dabble in the ascot realm. I'm neither royalty nor of nobility, but I've always appreciated the ascot and have heard Glenn O'Brien, amongst others, refer to it as a piece both casual and formal, and often a bridge out of being too casual or too formal in a variety of situations. So my questions to the community that is SF:

Are ascots, in this particular day and age, still conceivable as neckwear?

and

Is an ascot too casual for a wedding (the attire is not specified as it is a multicultural wedding in which there will be traditional vietnamese garbs along with suits, ties, etc)?

and

Does the ascot scream: "Look at me! I'm trying to be Bruce Wayne in the third film, you know, the one in which he wears the really fancy pajamas!"?

My swagger/confidence isn't a point of concern, but I do like to remain within a certain spectrum of current style, much like the resurgance of the double breasted jacket would make it acceptable this year, but would have raised a few eyebrows a few years back. Thanks for any input on the matter!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quadcammer 

Unless you are a very stately middle aged or older person, it screams douche to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bounder 


Don't be that way. An ascot can look quite sharp with a matching cape.

What if I leave my tethered eye glass at home? And lose the top hat? I'm keeping the walking stick, though... no way I'm giving that one up.

Okay, so it's pretty much settled, not yet (I'm no where near middle aged).

I long for the day when a day cravat will again be more than acceptable. Until then, I'll just keep dressing as Freddy from Scooby Doo every halloween to get my ascot fix. Sigh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dopey 


If you mean the kind of ascot reserved for formal day wear, then go ahead if you think formal daywear won't look ridiculous in that setting and draw too much attention. If you are talking about the kind of ascot that is a neckerchief or pleated scarf tied around the neck and then tucked into the shirt, which I think you are, then the answer is - don't. Apart from the douchiness, which you may or may not care about, that kind of ascot would never be appropriate at a wedding. It is too informal. So you not only would be calling attention to yourself, but you would be calling attention with an announcement that you don't know what you are doing, i.e. "Look at me, I am an incompetent fool." There are very few circumstances when that is the message you should try to convey.

I was/am referring to the former, the "day ascot" or "day cravat" or "daykerchief"(? i just made that one up), in a loosely tied fashion. The latter part of your post, and what andrewmcin posted below, is exactly the situation I want to avoid. I'm comfortable/confident enough in what I choose to wear, but I do NOT want to show disrespect nor do I want to call attention to myself at someone else's wedding.

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrewmcin 

Yeah wearing a ascot would draw attention and be distracting during a wedding.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkinnyGoomba 

Most are actually scarves tied in that fashion. That being said I would start with a more casual setting first.

That's actually what I do, oddly enough. I have a light linen bandana that I'll wear as a scarf under my shirt in certain situations. I've yet to acquire something nearing formal, so far it's light and casual.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hugeevilrobot 

Always struck me as one of those "if you have to ask..." propositions. There are a few guys on here who pull it off, but it is definitely graduate-level stuff to not look completely affected.

Completely agree. It's a pro play, and if you even look like you're unsure of why you have one on, you'll look beyond ridiculous and well into doucheville, laughable even. Which, in total truth, is why in this context (a wedding) I don't want to be questioning if I'm upstaging the bridal party which then triggers the "why am I wearing this" internal question which then nicks away at the armor of confidence. In a casual setting, it's no issue, but if I'm starting to walk the line of inappropriate for a wedding, well that's asking, or ascotting, for trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big A 

I just watched Roadhouse and the villain wore an ascot. His henchmen drove around town in a full-on monster truck. He had a slutty blonde girlfriend who wanted to fuck Patrick Swayze, and like to strip in public.
I believe this answers your question. However, I'm not sure if it answers it in the affirmative or the negative.

It answers many, many questions. Especially since your nickname is "Big A". How much more coincidental or serendipitous could it possibly be?