Ha ha. The review starts a bit tentative, but I think it hits its stride right about here:
Javelina, near Union Square, is a godsend for anybody who loves to eat before 6 p.m. or after 9:30 p.m.; since opening two months ago, the restaurant has been talked up so much in the press that those are usually the only reservation times available, even if you book a week or two ahead. You may worry that at those hours the dining room would be depressingly quiet, but that’s not the case. Javelina’s 58 seats always seem to be taken by large groups of people shouting with youthful animation. It always sounds as if somebody were telling a woman at the far end of the table that he had just found $1,000 under the menu, and the woman were shouting back that Ryan Gosling had just texted and he’s coming to the restaurant in, like, five minutes!
The queso sampler at Javelina. Credit Liz Barclay for The New York Times
How anybody gets drunk enough to act this way is one of several fun Javelina mysteries to keep you entertained. Fresh or frozen, the margaritas have a slight chemical taste that I was thankful for because it tended to keep my own alcohol intake to near-Mormon levels. I also stayed alert and sober when faced with the Tijuana Manhattan, made with tequila in the place of whiskey and served in a rocks glass with no ice at all, even though it was the temperature of a freshly killed snake. While bartenders elsewhere have become insufferable bores on the subjects of ice and proper shaking techniques, the ones at Javelina are refreshingly free of such pretension. Even the water is sometimes served at room temperature.