You're kinda right though.
Reasons why New York Sucks - Page 534
You're welcome. The above is the navy blue suit, white shirt, subtle dark tie and black shoes of ordering a drink. It's not complicated, always appropriate and marks you as someone who knows what he's doing. Tread lightly with fun socks and bar banter.
Also helps to be John Cusack. I watched him walk into a bar wearing a John Cusack-like outfit of basketball shoes, sweat pants and a raincoat, and pick up an insanely hot waitress in about 5 minutes. As I dated her a few months earlier and we both moved on, it was live and let live.
lefty's Obvious Guide to Ordering a Drink and Possibly Picking up the Bartender/dress.
1. Don't be a tool.
2. Know what you want - brand and mix - don't waste the barkeep's time.
3. Have the money in hand, but discreetly on bar.
4. Smile and be polite, but don't try to be funny or charming. You're not.
5. Tip well, say "thank you", then get the fuck out of the way.
6. Don't be a tool.
To possibly hook up do all of the above, but sit alone at the end of the bar. Look like me. Read something that isn't your phone. Wait for the bartender/dress to engage you in conversation. Keep that conversation brief. Stay no more than two drinks. Say "thank you" when you leave. Come back three nights later at the same time. He/she should remember your drink. If you play it cool, your second drink may be on him/her. Tip well for that drink. Go from there.
lol. First I need the obvious guide on how to have way too much free time on my hands, and the obvious guide on why I should commit huge amounts of time sitting and drinking alone for a chance to date someone I don't know like a complete creeper.
It is nearly impossible to pick up a bartender/dress when you're with a friend. It is completely impossible to do so when you're with a group. As I like my own company I often drink alone so was able to see first hand how barkeeps reacted to me and groups of morons.
I was never trying to pick up the bartendress. The resultant nooky was simply a bonus from just wanting a quiet drink and generally not being a tool. You should try it sometime.
Not true, I got a bartendress' number with a group of coworkers. All of their heads practically exploded.
I also am a huge fan of the drinking at a bar alone.
I'm friends with restaurant and bar industry people but could never date one, their schedules are too wonky for me and they often have a touch of the crazy.